Votre Friday Smile!

Note de mon voisin….

Ma femme et moi étions assis dans le lit la nuit dernière, discutant des choses de la vie. Nous parlions de l'idée de vivre ou mourir. Je lui dis:
"Ne me laisse jamais vivre dans un état végétatif, dépendant d'une machine et du liquide d'une bouteille. Si tu me vois dans cet état, débranche tous les éléments qui me maintiennent en vie"

Sur ce, elle s'est levée, a débranché le câble de la TV et m'a enlevé ma bière.

***

A rabbit is running through the forest, when he comes upon a monkey rolling a joint.

He says "Monkey, monkey, why do you do drugs? Come run in the forest with me!" So the monkey puts down his joint and runs through the forest with the rabbit.

Then the rabbit and the monkey come across an elephant snorting a line of coke. The rabbit says, "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run in the forest with me!" So the elephant joins the rabbit and the monkey.

Then the trio come upon a lion shooting up some herion. The rabbit says, "Lion, lion, why do you do drugs? Come run in the forest with me!"

The lion roars, "NO!" and reaching out with his paw, he smashes the rabbit flat.

The monkey and the elephant look shocked, and the monkey says "Why did you do that?"

The lion replied, "Fucking rabbit always wants me to run through the forest when he's on speed."

Thanks Hasarder – good one!

Have a bon weekend everyone!

Darth Vader lives on…

You read correctly, Darth Vader isn’t dead. I brought him back to life on Monday night! For the non Star Wars Fans (like me) and if you don't know what Vader looks like without his famous mask, here it is. By the way, I'm not really a fan but I've been blessed to have boyfriends and now a husband who ARE fans, so... now I know more then I ever cared to about the Dark man...

On Monday afternoon, I met with some type of therapist re. my sleep apnea problem… I got a CPAP; a machine that helps me breath when I “forget” to do so as I sleep. We spent almost two hours with her, very nice lady that explained everything, made me try the mask and off we were. Hubby came with me, as he tends to retain more info than I normally do.

That night was my first try with my brand spanking new “Resmed S8 Autoset Vantage”. I got ready for bed, set everything up, put my nasal mask on, connect the tube and let’s try to sleep…

I tend to breath through my mouth (awake and asleep) and supposedly it is because of apnea . When “connected”, I should not. If my mouth opens it feels as is I’m on a plane when the cabin pressure is going down – really strange feeling in my ears and back of my throat. So, in order to avoid that sensation, I decided to wear my “night guard” – which I hadn’t worn in months, so at first it felt like all my teeth were misaligned. This was going to be a fun night!

There I was, on my back (which is NOT at all my position to sleep in – I like to be on my belly), breathing through this tube. At some point (must have fallen asleep) I felt too much air – when my airways restrict the machine blows me air – so I woke up, with this need to burp or something – weird!

At around 4am I got fed up and removed the mask and unplugged the machine. I needed to sleep, even if my “natural” sleeping isn’t that great, at least I feel like I slept! In the morning after taking the pooch out for her morning duty call, I went back to bed and put the mask back on. Again, whenever the machine kicked in, I felt it. I’ll need to figure the adjustment that is right for me – there is some serious adaptation to be made on my part… I’ll try to make it happen… I have to think that this gizmo will help me in the long run…

Tuesday night wasn’t really much better. At one point I woke up ripped everything off and rolled over.

Last night was a bit different. When I put on the mask it felt snug. I made sure everything was on properly, etc. At some point during the night I had to go to the washroom so I took it off. When I put it back on I felt weird about it, because it wasn’t feeling like the two other nights, strange, very strange. This morning just before I took it off I looked at everything and all was connected properly. I read my stats for the night; pressure used, leak, indication of apnea or hypopnea, etc. For the first time it showed an apnea index, which means that during the night I had stopped breathing! The previous nights it only showed hypopnea, basically that my airways were restricted.

Either I’m getting used to this or the previous nights I had not put it on properly. Whichever one, in a strange contorted way, I’m happy to see that all the discomfort and sleepless nights might pay off in the long run… I just hope it won’t be too long, I’m getting tired… and sleepier than usual… (*big yawn*)


___

Photos: Darth Vader, without his mask and Sleepy

This is OUTrageous!

While Hubby was getting dressed I turned on the tv in our room. Landed on a local French channel where they debate a daily subject. Both men are very different, and they play the devil’s advocates roles, people call in and they debate. This morning their subject was “In 2006, is being homosexual a sickness?” This question was brought on, because this weekend is the Grand Opening of 1st World Outgames 2006. Montréal is hosting the games.

Listening to some callers made me grind my teeth. We are in 2006 – wake up people!

Is being gay a sickness or a choice? Come on! I’m always surprised to realise (once again) just how plain stupid some people can be. I should know better by now, but still, it always amazes me to see such levels of ignorance. Whenever I encounter such illiterate opinions I just have to challenge them. It is like a sickness! I just can’t resist. I just have to provoke some thoughts, be in their face and make them realise how (insert word of your choice here) they are!

A while back, at the time when the legislation came in about gay marriages we were enjoying a meal with friends and started talking about it. One person present said that is was wrong. Marriage was between a man & a woman. Really? Why? I always thought that marriage was between two people who loved one another. Why is it wrong for two people in love to legalize their union and have the same rights as the rest of us? They’re in a couple, they pay their taxes, their insurances, etc., why shouldn’t they get their benefits as well? That started a whole, heated, tumultuous discussion, which eventually lead to gays having kids. That was weird: the person who was so animate against gay marriage was all for gay couples adopting. And another person at the table couldn’t care less if they got married, but thought it just wasn’t right for "them" to raise children.

Let me start round 2, then!

Why is it wrong? If a safe, loving environment is provided to the child what’s wrong about that? No, I don’t know! What do you mean? Straight people have been doing a crappie job (some, not all) at it for many years, even centuries. Parents ("blood" related parents) abuse their kids, physically, mentally, and sexually and because it’s a man & a woman it’s ok? I don’t think so. A loving home? Is it the case when a child grows up seeing his dad beat up his mom? Yes that can happen with gay couples as well, except that they don’t end up with a kid by accident. That child was desired. They thought about wanting a child, unlike a lot of straight couples where it just happens. That is one major difference. Will a child feel weird when he sees his 2 moms/dads kissing and being affectionate? No worst than I did when I saw my folks doing that! Yes they will encounter teasing and whatnot, but at the same time, our society is changing and more and more family are now same sex parents, so that should change as well. It’s not easy being a kid no matter what. I was teased because my parents were strict and wasn’t allowed to wear jeans. I hated it, but I survived. I knew that my parents loved me, deep down, so if those kids are loved and feel the love I can only believe that they will be ok.

Or are you afraid that same sex couples will “generate” more gays, is that it? The gay people we have now, where did they come from? Straight parents! So, what’s your worry based on? Regular loving parents, brought up a child who turned out gay… hum?
Must be an illness or something worst, like they made a choice or something... Let's get real here! I didn't choose to like men, I just do. So I can only imagine that gay people are just the same - they just do!
*
Starting today until August 5th, it will be out time. According to Martina Navratilova, in today’s paper The Gazette, “we’re making progress”. Read the article here. Ms Navratilova will present the Declaration of Montréal with Olympic medalist Mark Tewksbury at the Opening Ceremony on 29 July 2006. I’m hoping that things are moving in the right direction for everyone.

Supposedly Montréal has one of the biggest gay villages in the world. Cool! Didn’t know that!

As far as I am concerned, if gay people want to get married and have children (adoption or other means), go for it. Do whatever makes you happy and helps you be a better person in this crazy world of ours. If you need to be discreet, be. If you need to shout it out, do. Live your life to the fullest and be happy. Happy people tend to be nicer to be around then grumpy ones.

Here’s a link to the official Outgames, click here for details.

___

Photo: André Pichette, La Presse
* Pin that I ordered for our collection!

The Proposal...

As far back as I can remember I don’t think I ever wanted to get married as such. Whenever my friends would talk about how bad they wanted a wedding, how they saw it, etc. I had no opinions. It never really was an issue for me. Was it because I had not met the “right” guy? Was it simply because I knew that I didn’t want to the do church thing? I’m not sure, but I didn’t see the importance of having papers that “confirmed” that I loved a person...

I was raised catholic. So, technically, I had done the big white dress thing, for my first communion. I even had the party to go with it!

In March 1996 we were going away “down south” to cut the winter blues. Jamaica was our destination. We were booked at Sandals Negril (an all inclusive, for couples). Looking at their brochure, we noticed that they offered wedding packages. We joked about it and said that we wanted to get married with a maid as a witness and a pool boy as the other witness. It was all a big joke at the beginning. Then we talked about it more seriously. We asked the travel agent some questions, one thing lead to another and we were requesting papers to do this. We wanted a marriage on the beach, just the two of us.

Prior to 1996 the church/parish would issue the birth certificates, etc. Then the Québec government took over by creating “Le Bureau de l’État Civil”. They were now the sole issuers of all certificates. This whole transition period was a painful one. All church registries were to be input into l’État Civil’s system, which was a big mess. Often a priest would write a name on a birth certificate, differently than on their registry, etc. And if the clerk who entered the information mistyped that could lead to long battles. Living in Québec, all of our official papers are in French. The Jamaican government wanted all documents in English.

We both needed a “newer” version of our birth certificates. Hubby received his with 2 mistakes on it: his middle name was misspelled, as well as his mother’s maiden name. I received mine with one mistake: my first name was misspelled.
So we returned them asking for corrections. We received letters stating that for any name change there was a fee of $200.00+. We were shocked. We didn’t want to change our names; we wanted to have them corrected, because they were misspelled. Then a long back and forth battle took place, to the point that it was getting too close to the Jamaican deadline, so we decided to call the wedding thing off. We would go on our trip, but not get married. It got too complicated, too fast.

We did manage to eventually get both of certificates corrected, free of charges, but after we came back. So the marriage idea was put on a shelf. It wasn’t meant to be.

1999 was a very rough year for me (and Hubby, by osmosis). January we had a big car accident on our way to work (we worked for the same Cie, in the same building, thus commuting together). Than later on I broke down – burn out. Then in April when I was thinking that I could get back, my dad committed suicide. Then in August, Nortel announced that they were closing our location. So, within a day we were both laid off. We received some “packages” to compensate us. Hubby had been there for over 13 years. I had only been an employee for 3 years. End of 1999 wasn’t coming fast enough as far as I was concerned. Since we were both unemployed we toyed with the idea of maybe moving to the States. A lot of ex-Nortel people were making that move. A co-worker of Hubby was moving to Texas, but for his girlfriend of 12 years and their 2 kids, it wasn’t obvious to get in the States. So they decided to have a quick wedding at City Hall a few days before their departure, so that she and the kids could follow. I really DIDN’T want that. IF I was to do the wedding thing, might as well do it the right way, the way we wanted. It got me thinking…

The dojo operator, D, where we trained at the time was planning a big “2000” New Year’s Eve party, at the dojo. He had relatives from the States coming in, and since I was giving classes there I was told to invite friends, etc. – the more the merrier. That is when I had “the” idea. I spoke with D’s wife, J, and asked if I could steel a moment, and propose to Hubby. They were so excited about the whole thing. Since Hubby was going to be the DJ for the evening his mind was “busy”. I then called a few friends asking if they wanted to celebrate 2000’s arrival with us. I didn’t tell people, I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone and was also afraid Hubby would find out. Nobody wanted to come, because they weren’t “karate people”. As I was speaking with a friend who had said that they didn’t have plans, I was insisting that he brings his video recorder. He started asking questions so I told him – they had to come: I was going to propose. He then rapidly accepted.

When we got to the dojo everyone was very festive. 2000 was at our door! A new millennium! The party started, than midnight came with all the kisses and hugs and champagne. Everyone was happy and wanted to party hard. That is when I asked people to gather around I had something I wanted to say. I had written a text (I often do!) and purposely wrote it in such a way that it could have been about D (who was also a friend). People were so excited, kids were loud and on the video you can see Hubby walking around, planning his music selection, totally oblivious. I started to read:

I have a few things to say about a man who’s here tonight, partying with us. I’ve met him in a dojo almost 7 years ago; there was something about him that made me wonder. People were telling me how nice he was, but I had to make my own opinion of him.

We became friends, and talked a little more, but there was still something that made me wonder. You are wondering too, so let me tell you about him: He is very understanding, he is patient, he is fun, he is exciting, he is strong, he is gentle, he is honest, he is tolerant, he is sensitive, and sometimes he can even be intelligent. (at that moment, you can literally see the light bulb go on!).

As some of you may know, 1999 was a very difficult year for me, lots of things happened, one of which, I stop wondering. There are no measures for the blessings we receive, only by imagining how our lives might have gone if they had not come.

True love is such a blessing. And I have found it. I hope I will always know his love as the wondrous gift it is.

Husband, you are my love… And I only have one little wonder still… Will you marry me?

By that time, he was standing behind me, rubbing my shoulders and said, “You know I will!”

Is this what you wanted Jason67?

A Great Night of Laughter!

Last night we (Hubby, and two of our friends) had a really good time at the " Just For Laughs" Festival. We went to see Bill Cosby.

What a show he gave!

I'm truly happy I got to see him "live" at least once in my life... He seems like such a nice man and his timing... wow!

What to know more about it, read my post in "What Entertains me..." (side bar)!

___

Photo: Laughing

100 Things - I did it!

I've been working on this friggin' list for a while now, and seeing how easily GG did hers, motivated me to complete mine. I won't say it was easy because it wasn't, for some strange reason... but anyway, I did it!

Wanna see it? Click here or on the side bar "Did you say list".

Let me know if you've learned anything intersting about me, or not!

Votre Friday Smile!

Origine de la barre du chiffre sept!

Encore aujourd'hui, de nombreuses personnes, en écrivant le chiffre 7 utilisent une barre supplémentaire horizontale au milieu du chiffre.
La plupart des typographies l'ont fait disparaître aujourd'hui.
Mais savez-vous pourquoi cette barre a survécu jusqu'à nos jours ?

Il faut remonter bien loin, aux temps bibliques :

Lorsque Moïse eut gravi le mont Sinaï, et que les 10 commandements lui furent dictés,
il redescendit vers son peuple et leur lut, à haute et forte voix, chaque commandement.


Arrivé au septième commandement, il annonça :

« Tu ne commettras point d'adultère. Tu ne désireras pas la femme de ton prochain »
Et là... de nombreuses voix s'élevèrent parmi le peuple lui criant :
"Barre le sept, barre le sept, barre le sept !!!"

Et voilà… l'origine de la barre du sept !

***

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No." She answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
Yes." She replied.
Then I said, " I'd like to phone a friend."

That's the last thing I remember.

And finally:

GUTS or BALLS

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

Have a great weekend!

___

Photo: Seven

Blog Rules?

Since I started blogging, only a few months ago (even if it seems like ages ago) I’ve been wondering certain things…

At the beginning I was more a lurker than a commenter. I would read random blogs and that was that. Then I came across one blog that caught my attention and just had to leave a comment. And then I got hooked… line and sinker.

I came across a comment where X was commenting on Y’s comment to Z’s post. That started a string of exchange from which I concluded that it was somewhat rude to comment on somebody else’s comment. Ok then, must remember that!

I don’t think I’m the only one who does that, but if I leave a comment somewhere I kind of expect a reply of some sort… I’m funny that way! Otherwise, it feels like it got lost in bloggospace or something…

I often wonder WTF (“why” and not “what” here!) would someone leave the comment option open if they never answer their readers? If you want more readers, I think one should recognize the ones he/she already has. Granted some comments are kind of hard to answer, but if a lurker becomes more than that, I feel that he/she should be acknowledged. Common courtesy!

Are there “really” rules or a code of conduct as such to this blogging thing? I know that basically a blogger should a) bare it all, b) update frequently and c) be interactive. But besides that I think it’s up to all of us to do it the way we please.

I’m not one for “bells & whistles”, some blogs are way too noisy for my taste, and yet, some others are way too plain. I'm not a big fan of having to turn off the music/video while I read the post of the day. Or flashing things, more annoying than anything. But that's my taste! I believe in the K.I.S.S. rule (Keep It Simple Stupid), or at least in the airy concept. Some blogs are so jammed pack that I feel that I need to come up for air after a while...

When you hit that “Next Blog” button you are “out there ”, and at times it’s nice, other times it’s scary, but mostly I find it somewhat boring… I prefer to follow a link from a blog I enjoy and take it from there. One thing I’ve realised there are A LOT of people very depressed and unhappy in the blogosphere, and what gets to me is that they do sweet nothing about it, except complain. Aaargh!

Some blog writers say not to tell people you know about your blog, to avoid auto-censorship. Oops! EVERYONE I ever sent an e-mail to, know about it, and so far, I never really refrained from posting something. Granted I haven’t been posting anything too deep, BUT still I know that what ever I put on my blog is out into the “Big Bad Internet World”, and I’m ok with that: I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in or to stay to your face what I said behind your back (if I was to say something behind your back – I tend to be more in your face kind of gal).

Like I commented on Maliavale’s (which prompted this line of thinking): “I believe that blogging is a personal thing, some like to do it daily, some at random, some by themselves, some like to live through others… it’s almost like sex in a way - you do it the way you feel comfortable doing it. And that’s that.”

What do you think?

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Photo: Rules of Use

Walking is tiresome!

Tonight, after dinner, I thought I'd try to take the pooch for a short walk...

Since she's been living with us, we both pet her A LOT. When we first got her she would be nervous when we would get close to her neck area. She has lumps and they must hurt. I had tried to put her collar on and she cried out, and at another time she tried to bite me, so... Lately she seemed more relaxed when we pet her, so I thought I'd give the leash thing another try.

It was funny when I took her leash out, she went from interested to ears down walking away. I talked to her, pet her a bit and asked Hubby to pick her up. She trusts him a lot, I guess his big hands are reassuring her or something (I know they have that effect on me!), so I managed to put her collar on without her crying or anything. We waited a bit while she was doing some serious contortions to scratch and get at it. I put the leash on her and off we were. We walked for about 15 min. She followed without any problem, her little legs going pretty fast, non-stop, except for a few pee breaks along the way.

When we got back home, she hit her water bowl and then her bed, snoring full throttle.

Getting back in shape seems to have the same effect on a pooch as it does on us - it's hard work, and it's soooo tiresome!

Here she is, in her bed with her little teddy bear... Isn't she cute?

How we became Stinky & Hubby...

I’ve been wondering if I should write about this, but since “Jason67” expressed some curiosity, I figure why not?

How did I meet Hubby? Karate. That is the short answer. Now here’s the long story of how the two of us became the couple we are today.

Wow, that was 13 years ago on July 14th!* I met Hubby at a period in my life when I was… let’s say… quite “active”? I’m not just talking karate here, if you know what I mean? I “had” a social life and lived it! A friend of mine, Z, worked at BNR (at the time) had invited me to attend his karate class. Z and I had been friends for almost 10 years – we met at karate and trained hard together – and since he was going away on vacations he wanted me to replace him, so that his students wouldn’t stop training. So, on a Wednesday afternoon I made my way to the dojo** for a class and to meet his students. For the following week Z and I were teaching together. I was getting acquainted with the students (mostly men, and a few women) and them with me. The classes were held at 7:30am. After class and showers, we would all meet for breakfast in the cafeteria. We would talk and I guess get to know one another.

After my first week teaching a bunch of us went out for a bite to eat and some bar hoping. I remember that that time Hubby met us for a quick drink, plus he finished my beer (that habit of his started even before we were “together”!). He had to get home; his girlfriend was waiting for him… Then Z left for 2 weeks and I replaced him twice/week. After he came back I continued to train with the gang – they were a nice friendly bunch. Z suggested adding more classes to the schedule that I would teach, so I started to have my own 2 classes/week, which was a lot of fun.

The first “mention” of Hubby in my diary was on Thursday, August 19th, 1993:

Hubby is really nice with me, he has a girl and all, but he’s sweet!

At the end of September I met a guy, G, at a “Paintball game” – the brother of a co-worker. We hit it off, physically more than anything else; let’s just say we had a fling… that lasted until the Holidays – I didn’t want to spend Christmas alone! During that whole time I got to know Hubby a little more each day, after breakfast.

On November 25th, 1993, one of the girls from karate had organized a little birthday party for me at our regular Happy Hour place on Thursdays (Sherlock’s). About 30 people showed up – I was really happy. One person conveyed a message to me that Hubby wasn’t going to attend; he was stuck in Ottawa on business, but was sending his best wishes. When he did show up one hour or so later I was really pleasantly surprised. He drove back from Ottawa to party with us… After the Happy HourS, 4 of us (all students!) went for a bite to eat (pizza!). Then 2 of boys decided to head home, so Hubby and I were left alone, so we decided to go dancing (Thursday’s). We stayed there until 3 am.

That night I wrote in my dairy:

Since I started teaching there, Hubby has been really nice to me. Every time he comes to do my class, we have breakfast together after. He has a girlfriend so I lay low… Last week something changed… I’ve always liked him, and I guess he did to… When I started seeing G he made a comment on how strange it was for me to date someone with a kid when I don’t want any. He was kind of asking questions but not directly… Last week Z asked me what was happening with him (and it was not the first time!), he actually told me to go for it!! … We had a really nice time; he’s really nice… very friendly! Since then, he’s been often on my mind!

…Z called me at work, and asked about Hubby… I’ve told him that I think he only sees me as his karate instructor. Z doesn’t think so. He didn’t want to put words in Hubby’s mouth, but he really liked me… but we’re both in relationship. What do I do, wait and see or go for it?! I think I’ll go for it!!!

On December 16th, 1993, we had lunch together, on the South Shore. I remember that day I told him to “ditch the bitch”, since he had told me that things weren’t good with his girlfriend.

On the following Monday (Dec. 20th), I dropped by his office to give him a little Christmas gift – a mini bottle of Grand Marnier, his favourite! – He still has it!

On December 22nd, 1993 was our karate lunch at a Greek restaurant on Duluth St. Some of them had made up a poem about our little dojo, every body was happy and in a festive mood. That day Hubby and I were the last one to leave the restaurant. The dinner crowd was coming in by the time we left! That is also the first (and last!) time, ever, that Hubby offered me his shoulder to punch! I had been called in at work, and was pissed off about it, told him I felt like hitting something, so he offered his shoulder. …And I did!

During the holidays we both broke off with our respective others…

Then on January 19th, 1994 I wrote:

… I’m seeing a lot of Hubby. He’s becoming a nice friend. He’s single since last week. Monday night I went to his place, we watched “Beauty and the Beast”, came back home around 3am, and I was teaching in the morning, tired! We’re supposed to get together this weekend, do something. It’s nice! I feel really comfortable with him and he has a great sense of humour! Oh well!

On January 22nd, 1994, a girlfriend and I went to see him play volleyball. That is when I noticed his legs and bums! From the start Hubby didn’t attract me physically, I guess that my physical needs were fulfilled. J I thought he was good looking (and I think he’s even better now - he’s aging very well!). I was attracted to his… dare I write it… his mind! He had that little something that made me curious about him…. We could talk for hours about anything, and I loved that – we still do, and still love it!

After his game, we agreed to meet up at his place. I drove my friend back and made my way to the West Island. Honestly, I don’t really remember what we did exactly EXCEPT that we played darts! I have a somewhat competitive nature, so since he was winning all the friggin’ games, we played until I won one. By that time it was well over 3 am! He offered me his guest bedroom. I accepted the invite, since I was too tired to drive back to my apartment. He gave me a big t-shirt, wished me good night and went to bed. I asked him if he’d mind if I would sleep with him. He didn’t. Can you believe that NOTHING happened that night? Nothing! We said goodnight, rolled over and slept!

The next morning, while we were having our breakfast a friend of his, who lived near by, dropped by for a “surprised” visit. He wanted to know to whom belonged that red Corolla***. Ted was the first of Hubby’s friend I met. We later found out, that Hubby’s ex had also sent him on a recognition mission – she wanted to know who had spent the night over!

That night we had our first kiss… it was on Sunday, January 23rd, 1994

The rest is history, as they say!

Is this what you wanted to read Jason67?

________

* In order for me to be the most accurate I dug out my old agendas and my journal!
** Training hall
*** Funny fact, Hubby’s ex, at the time, also drove a Corolla, a grey one!

Votre Friday Smile!

Une fille se confesse auprès d’un prêtre : Pardon mon père, mais j’ai péché.
- Mais qu’avez vous fait mon enfant?
- J’ai traité un homme de « tabarnak »
- Pourquoi l’avez-vous traité de « tabarnak »?
- Il m’a touché la main…
- Comme ça?, et il lui touche la main
- Oui mon père…
- Il n’y a pas de raison de le traiter de « tabarnak »
- Mais après il m’a touché les seins…
- Comme ceci? Et il lui caresse un sein
- Oui mon père…
- Il n’y a pas de raison de le traiter de « tabarnak » pour ça.
- Mais mon père, après il m’a pénétré avec son membre!
- Comme ça? Et il l’a pénètre tout doucement
- Oui mon père! OUI mon père! OUI MON PÈRE!!!
Après quelques minutes le prête ajoute : Il n’y a pas de raison de le traiter de « tabarnak »
- Mais mon père, il avait le sida!
- Ah! Le « tabarnak »!

*****

A NEW DRINK

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink.
The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in you mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice."
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK.
He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, and very pleasant.
He thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the limejuice and drinks it.
... In one second the sharp lime taste hits...
... At two seconds the Baileys curdles
... At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.

This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, "Jesus, what do you call that drink?"

She smiles widely at him and says, "Blow Job Revenge!"

I just love this one!!! Thanks Ian!

Have a great weekend everyone & a great vacation time to all of you Construction Workers - Happy Two Weeks Off!

Pooch-a-fication: 1 month!

Already one month that the pooch is with us – one month of borrowed time.
I’m wondering if her being here is the same as her being on life support?
Are we keeping her alive out of selfishness? Are we really doing a good thing?
At times I wonder about that…

She’s doing ok – some days are good and others, like yesterday, it's sad.
At times she is completely “gone”, but then she has a little spark of life!
I wonder if she's suffering at all. She doesn't cry, she only sleeps. She still eats and drinks - while we eat is a time when she purkes up a lot, she's very fond of table food.

The way she is makes me think a lot of my father and how I felt at the time. I very much dreaded if we would find him dead somewhere. A part of me is afraid of that with the pooch as well…
But like Hubby said, unlike my father she’s not choosing to go, nature is taking its course…
That thought is somewhat soothing… but it’s does not make it easier.

_______

Photo: Cupcake

Now I’m getting upset!

Let me tell you about what is making me upset, not to say really pissed off.
The phone rings:

C: Hello Stinkypaw, this is Vivien for Dr. P’s office.
Your prescription is ready.
S: My prescription? What prescription?
C: Oh! You didn’t call to have it renewed?
S: No… what is it?
C: It’s for “Crapocream”.
S: But I didn’t call for that…

And that is when it hit me!

S: Did the pharmacy call, to have my prescription renewed?
C: Let me check. Yes they did. Were your renewals done?
S: Nope. They have this stupid rule that if a prescription was “originally”
prescribed more than a year ago, they won’t renew it.
They want a new one from the doctor.
C: Well, that’s ok, it’s renewed and ready for you to pick up.
You can come by anytime.
S: Yeah, ok… thanks!


Now I’m pissed! On Saturday I went to the pharmacy to get a new batch of “Crapocream” with Hubby. At one point the technician tells me that I will need a new prescription, since they system is showing that the one they have dates back to 2004, so more than their 1 year rule. I was confused. How could that be? I had more renewals and I knew (as well as Hubby) that that prescription had been renewed in the last year, like in March or something. On the actual paper of prescription they were a few items, but they only gave me one of them and kept the prescription. I remember at the time, asking them about the other 2 things, and their answer was “It will be in the system”. Yeah right! We discussed it a little with the technician who eventually gave me the “Crapocream”. Fine! She even asked me if I remembered the date of my last renewal! Yeah, ok! Of course I do! It was on… Let’s get real lady!


It wasn’t the first time they did this. Once they did it to Hubby, as well. On Saturday I think he was more upset than me about this rule of theirs. I understand the logic behind it, but when you have a condition that requires medication for the rest of your life , and you see your doctor yearly, you don’t need them to “put it in their system” and forget about it. That’s besides the times that they mess up the doctor’s name or even the patient’s name (they put my name on Hubby’s and vice versa)! So for them to have forgotten to enter the darn prescription in their friggin’ system isn’t surprising either!

According to my geek husband, from now on, we will scan our prescription before giving them to the pharmacist, so that we have a copy of what & when it was prescribed.

The other thing that is pissing me off is the fact that I have to drive to the doctor’s office, get that prescription and then pay him for it! You read right! The fugger charges for writing prescription if done outside a schedule visit!

A few months ago I saw him for my shaking bouts (due to my meds change from Brand to Generic, pharmacist decision!!!), and meant to ask him to renew something, but I forgot. I thought of it when I got home, so I called his office and asked if he could, since I was there moments ago. I was told they would call me when it would be ready. When I went to pick it up the secretary tells me that there’s a $5 fee. I was a little surprise, but I paid it. Then I asked for a receipt. They didn’t have any! And she had the nerve to tell me that it was only 5 dollars. Let’s just say that I wasn’t too impressed.

When I mentioned it to Hubby he was a little more lenient and reminded me that last winter we weren’t charged for our flu shots. Granted. But that wasn’t the point. Who were they to decide if it was only 5 bucks? I wanted a darn receipt. So, next visit I brought in a pad of receipts. I gave it to Vivien and said that I wanted my receipt. Turns out they did have receipts; they just don’t issue them – doctor’s order! Really? The patient has to request it with the doctor who will tell the secretary that it’s ok. Can you believe the scam this guy is running? I was so shocked that I didn’t even mention it to the doctor when I went in. Plus Hubby would have been embarrassed since he didn’t think I should have brought the pad in the first place.

Now that I have to go back, it won’t be before August (my next schedule appointment), I will demand a friggin’ receipt. And I better get one! I’m ready to fight them on this… and for some strange reason I think that this time Hubby will back me up about the receipt thing.

Some people are like Slinkies

...not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

Thanks Dawn-Leah - good one!

20 things I hate about me…

Thanks to Elf Mandinio who evilly tagged me with this!

I did it and you will find my list by clicking here.

I fear no evil, so you better watch yourself you little ...elf!

...and some of you lurkers as well...you might get tagged!

____
Photo: fotocats

Waste of a good night sleep!

On a regular base I see my Hellerwork (deep tissue massage) guy, in order to maintain and correct some stiffness I may have. During a treatment he started asking me questions about how I slept, etc. which led to him telling me to ask my g.p. about sleep apnea. I did. The g.p. then sent me for a consultation with an ears, nose & throat doctor who sent me for a consultation at a sleep clinic. All this happened fairly fast (despite our lovely medical system!).

I was seeing the sleep doctor on Wednesday. After meeting with him, Dr. Z diagnosed me with sleep apnea. Since we are self-employed, thus no insurance, there wasn’t a real need to go for a sleep study, but he wanted it done anyway. Normally that takes about 6 months before getting an appointment. Dr. Z wanted me to get a CPAP machine, which only cost about $2,000+… According to him with that machine I would be a whole new, refresh person. OK then, I’ll look into it. On my way out I had to schedule my next appointment with Dr. Z and for the sleep study. The lady just had a cancellation and gave me that appointment for the sleep lab. That test was last night.

I had to be at the hospital for 9pm and spend the night until 5:30am this morning. So, last night after dinner I prepared my bag and off to the Royal Victoria’s for a night of sleep in a lab. I’ll spare you the details of how Montreal is in serious need of updating its hospitals. A sad state of affairs we are experiencing. Hubby drove me (being the nice guy that he is) so I wouldn’t leave my car there all night, plus the Montreal Alouettes were playing Hamilton’s Tiger-Cats at the Molson Stadium so there would be no parking around there whatsoever! BTW, Montreal won that game (27-21), I heard the cheering for my room, that gave out on the football field – nice view for the 10th floor!

When I got in, I was asked to change into my pj (this lady showed up with nothing but her referral paper. The look on her face when the tech told her she was spending the night! Some people, I tell you!). The tech came back, sent me for a last pee and then started to hook me up.
I had 15 little wires cemented to me, 2 straps across my chest, plus an oxygen mask and a pulse thingy! And then he told me good night and turned the light off!

All those wires weren’t comfortable AT ALL and I was supposed to sleep! I’ve been sleeping naked for many years now, so to start with sleeping in a pj was one thing. Now add to that a friggin’ short “hospital” bed, and wires everywhere. Let’s just say that I didn’t sleep well! As soon as I would move I’d get caught in wires, the pulse thingy was too tight, some hairs were stuck in tape and cement, so that hurt, not a pleasant night sleep if you ask me.

At 5:30 this morning when the tech came in the room, and asked how I slept, I basically told him that I felt like I do when we catch a “red eye flight”, snoozed some but not rested. When I looked in the mirror, after he unplugged everything, I looked like I had been on a red-eye! According to the tech I don’t have sleep apnea. Really? How can you tell if I wasn’t really sleeping? I’ll be seeing Dr. Z at the end of the month for the results, so let’s see what he has to say about this inconclusive test. Anyway, at this point I just want to go to bed, so…

_____

Photo: Sleep Lab

Votre Friday Smile!

A guy from Saskatchewan

Larry, a guy from Saskatchewan is sitting at the bar in New York City and
looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.
The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?
"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
Larry explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''
Larry smirks, taps his watch and says,
"Bloody thing's running about an hour fast.... can I buy you a drink?"

************
C'est un couple de paysans qui participe a la remise des prix d'un concours de taureaux.
Le présentateur annonce : Troisième prix, le taureau Gédéon, trois ans, trois saillies par jour !
La femme, tapant du coude son mari : T'entends ? trois fois par jour !! Tu devrais en prendre de la graine !
Le présentateur continue : Deuxième prix, le taureau Gérard, cinq ans, six saillies par jour !
La femme, excitée : T'entends ?! T'entends ?!...
Le présentateur, enfin : Et le premier prix, le taureau Germain, quatre ans et demi, neuf saillies par jour !
La femme, de plus en plus excitée : T'entends ?! T'entends ?! T'entends ?!...
Le mari s'adresse alors au présentateur : Les 9 fois par jour, c'est avec la même vache ?
- Euh... Non.
Alors il dit a sa femme : T'entends ?!

Have a great weekend!

Can't you see me?

First, I want to apologize, because in this post I will be swearing!

While I was waiting by the cash at the butcher shop, for him to give me back my change, this lady (I’m being nice here!) comes in, on her fuggin’ cell phone, pushing her cart and me in the process, so that she’ll be served. Can you believe that? I’m not a little girl, with the size I have, it is IMPOSSIBLE that she didn’t see me! WTF? I tapped her on the shoulder, to make sure that she would see/hear me, and simply said “Excuse me, I’m not done here”. Her only reply was “oh”

That is one of those times where I wish I could just turn around and slap the shit out of her or anyone else like her! How can you be so fucking oblivious to your surroundings and have no respect for others whatsoever? Unreal!

Last night, on our way out of the mall, this woman, who was closing shop came backing out of the store fast. As we walked by, she rammed into me hard. My first reaction was to close my right fist; I was ready to bolt her one. I guess 20 years of karate do want to come out every so often!

It’s ok for her to be unconscious and hit me the way she did (I had a red mark on my wrist, and I felt the throbbing for a few minutes), but if I was to hit her that would be illegal and wrong.

In my next life I want to come back as one of them: brainless, dumb, moronic, oblivious and unconscious type person – it looks so easy for them…

OK, I’m feeling better now… I think?!

Luvu man!

A few days ago when I read this simple phrase: “A man’s wife is his to protect” said by Jamie Fraser in “A Breath of Snow and Ashes”, it made me think of my husband. At this point, in the story, Claire (Jamie’s wife) had been abducted, raped and beat up pretty bad before Jamie found her and killed everyone involved. He felt so guilty for not being there when it happened. Yeah, that made me think of Hubby...

Last night, at some point, I took my book and read him that phrase. I simply said, you feel the same way, don't you? He agreed.

A few weeks ago, while at a friend’s house having lunch, I made a comment about Hubby. I often refer to him as “my first husband” or I’ll introduce him as “My current husband” or “My favourite husband” – those are all endearing terms that I use with and for him. In the privacy of our home I call him by his nickname or at times when he does something stupid I’ll use “Dumbass” (a la Red from “That 70s Show”),. It has (so far!) never been said in a mean way – I love him and respect him too much for that. Plus, I’m not the type of person who will call their spouse names. I just don’t do that. But I digress. Sorry.

Friend mentioned that despite what I say, she knew that we really loved each other. She could tell how much Hubby loved me, and liked how he showed it. It made me think.

When I first met him, at a karate class, I thought he seemed like a nice guy. Right of the bat I felt that he had this gentle side to him. He had good manners and was a good listener. We became friends. Since we’ve known each other we’ve always been honest with each one another. Before we started dating (at the time we were both in relationships), we would have breakfast after class (Morning classes, and everyone would have breakfast in the cafeteria before going up to their offices – karate was a subsidized activity for the employees) and we would talk about everything. He’s the type of person who likes to throw in a grenade during a conversation and see how people react. I do the same thing, so often we would have very interesting conversations. (and we still do!)

When we met, he was quite an active guy: played soccer, volleyball, badminton and was starting karate. When we started seeing each other he was in a league for each sport basically. I remember when I joined the badminton club where he played, a friend of his came to talk to me. (Little history here: at the time it was a bit awkward for everyone who knew him to be talking to me, because his ex was also a member at the club. …Between the time he called it off with her and started seeing me there was only a week turnaround time…). That friend said that since he had been with me his demeanour had seriously changed. She couldn’t tell if it was the martial art effects or I, but he had changed for the better. She thought he was a real ass before… OK then! I remember on our drive home I mentioned it to him and his answer was simply: “Yeah, I was. I wasn’t the nicest guy around”.

In the 14 years I’ve been with him I always felt loved. The way he looks at me, or touches me. Once on "Dr. Phil" he said something that every man should make their wife feel like she’s the most beautiful woman when she enters a room. Robin said that she felt that with Phil. Cool!
On "Oprah" a while back, she had Tim Sexy McGraw (what a good looking man!) and Faith Beautiful Hill. When he came on stage you saw the love in his eyes when he looked at his wife, and Oprah even said it. Nice!

I guess that without even really truly realising it, I have that with Hubby. Often at parties I’ll catch his eyes from across the room and I can't help to smile. He often just sits beside me and will caress my back, or lightly touch my cheek. Just now he came by and kissed me on the head before going back to his desk. He’s not afraid to show his love and affection for me and I like that. And what I love most about it is that he does it everywhere. It’s not house bound, like so many people I know.

A few years back I had a car accident: a 80 years old man forgot that red meant stop and rear ended me at about 50km while I was stopped at a red light. When I called hubby to let him know I had an accident, he immediately made his way there. I can still see in his face how concerned he was and also how pissed off he was at the old man.

A little while back I felt really bad (serious migraine) and he came home from work to be with me. He will often offer to stay with me when I don’t feel well. He will prepare my comfort food and will take care of me. When I had my knee surgery a few years back, and woke up in pain (the worst pain I had ever felt – bone drilling is painful!), he felt so helpless and it was so apparent. OK, let’s not forget here that he “forgot” to feed me a few days later while he had to go in (the office), and left me in bed, unable to move for a few hours, without food or water! – That was a costly mistake to be made! He did make up for that one!

I KNOW I am VERY lucky to have him in my life and by my side. I really can see in his eyes, his actions, in his being that he truly loves me and that IS a nice feeling. So when I read that line from Jamie, I immediately thought: “that’s something Hubby would think”... Not in a chauvinistic way, but in the loving sense of it.

He keeps threatening me that he’ll be around for many more years to torment me or to “take care” of me… "if need be."

…I sure hope so.

Size doesn’t matter

I knew I’d catch your attention with that title! Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m writing about the pooch!

I’ve always known that Cathy, the pooch, had a temperament and could be quite stubborn. That’s fine. Now that she’s older well, let’s just say that it hasn’t got any better!

I don’t know if it’s size related, but I’ve noticed that even in men; the smaller they are the cockier they are. My dad was a very good example of that. He wasn’t a big man, only 5’7” and about 135-140lbs, but the nerves he had. Like a rooster, always ready to fight.

I see the same feistiness in the pooch. She’s very small, but she will show you that she’s not easily intimidated. When we got her, as a puppy, she was minuscule. At the time we also had a German Sheppard. She would just walk up to him and bark until he would leave. The size of the other dog did not matter. She was bold and saucy. That's her in 1992.

For the last two days, she’s been scaring me in the morning when I take her out for her first pee. Yesterday, she had been out for a while, sniffing around, doing her thing when this lady came down the street with a black Labrador and a Spaniel. They were both curious of her; they were on a leash (unlike the pooch*) and their owner was controlling them. Cathy is on her way to be blind soon; her vision seems to be very blurry (from her actions, like she daily walks into the French door’s glass), so she didn’t see them until they were fairly close. She then bolted, barking her little ass off, like she was this big "mother Tucker" or something. The other two dogs looked so surprised. I ran to her, picked her up, apologized to the lady and tried to get the pooch to calm down. The hair on her back was all spiked, and the growling wasn’t stopping. It was funny (in a way!) to see how upset she was. She went to her bed and kept on growling a little. Even Tobi (the cat) stayed away from her and out of her path for a while.

This morning, at 6am, Missy goes out and a few minutes later I can hear some chains rattling or something. I look on the side street (we live on a corner), coming down the hill, this guy with not one, but three Pit bulls! My heart started racing and I thanked whomever that her hearing is also going. She looked up at them and kept on sniffing the grass. As they turned the street corner, she started to bark and ran in their direction. I REALLY didn’t want her to get close to those dogs – they had this mean look about them (and I’m not being prejudiced here, I love those type of dogs, had one myself), so I barely had time to pick her up before she got in the street and we went in. I can only see her being snapped in half by one of those boys… EWH!!!

She's not very big, but she has a lot of character.

* can’t really put a leash on her she has bumps (cancer) and she doesn’t tolerate anything touching her neck area…

This is something I could do...

Yep! If only I was good with a clipper...

A Good Read

I thought of posting this in the "What entertains me" section, but since it will bring me to another post I'm working on, I'd figure here would be a better place for it...

At Christmas I received the 6th book of Diana Gabaldon's series “Outlander”: “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” – which is by far the biggest one (980 pages).

I’ve read them all starting with “Outlander”, “Dragonfly in Amber”, “Voyager”, “Drums of Autumn”, and “The Fiery Cross”. I simply love the characters and Gabaldon’s description of them is so well written that you can’t help to visualise them and even to smell them. Her descriptions are very vivid. You really can see the people and how scruffy they were, how thought life must have been for them.

When I started reading them, a few years back, I simply got hooked. It’s set in Scotland at the beginning and then they travelled to France and ended up in the American colonies. Once you’re “ok” with the idea of time travel through stone circle (like Stonehenge), a doorway leading to the past for a select few, the story is captivating. So many things happening from the Highlands uprising, the famine in Scotland, the tragic battle of Culloden, their dealings with the King of France and his court, their travel to the colonies… so many challenges, but through it all Claire & Jamie’s love endure. You can't help to get attached to each individal. They become real. That to me, is the proof of a good book!

Anyway, if you want a good read with some sex and lots of challenges, this is the series for you!
It’s a good thing that we don’t have scratch & sniff books, these books would be quite smelly, but Jamie is so yummy even with all his musky, horse, dust smells. If you are a prude, those books may not be for you, because at times, they can be quite explicit, but I really think they are worth the read!

You won't regret it - trust me!