The Game Is On.

Hubby's cousin sent me an interesting e-mail. I did as requested (sent her a reply) and also forwarded it along to friends. Then I thought, "Hey I could also post it on my blog and see what answers I'll get". Yes! I am curious!

Want to give this game a try? Here's how:

Describe me in one word... just one single word, as a comment.
If we were doing this via e-mail you'd be asked to send it to me and to me only.

Then post this message on your blog and see how many strange & interesting things your readers say about you. This should be really fun. So,

1. Hit that comment link and tell me my one word.

2. Then return to your blog and post this and see what people say about you!

Let's the game begin!

___

Image: Curious

Your Friday Smile!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

***
Question: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
Answer: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

***
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said, "Just look at you... You have no legs!"
The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"
"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door bell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday!!!

***

"Senility Prayer"

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked;
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do;
And the eyesight to tell the difference."

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Le printemps est arrivé...*

My husband is a cyclist. When I met him he used to be a mountain biker. He would take off with a few guys, every weekend, and got dirty in the woods. He loved it. I tried it, I did enjoy the getting dirty part (I’m the type who sees a puddle and jumps or rides in it) but because of a neck/shoulder problem riding was painful for me. As time went on his cycling buddies became fathers and thus less “available”… and let’s face it the boys were getting old…er.

Since his hip replacement, Hubby isn’t “allowed” or “supposed” to fall, so mountain biking isn’t the best. And he’s not allowed to run or jump. He should not have any impact on his right leg/hip. He had to stop volleyball (no jumping), karate (no impact), soccer (no running). He changed his mountain bike for a hybrid (road) one and since his surgery he’s been cycling up a storm. He was operated in January and that first year he rode over 1800 km – mostly commuting to work. Last year he rode over 2330 km. He started his season in March, as soon as the roads are somewhat dried up. He dressed in his “cold weather” gear and he rides.

He’s been itching to get back on his bike. If there was enough snow left in our yard, I’m sure he could have made this himself, but he didn’t.

His “season” started yesterday morning. As he was putting on his cycling shorts this morning I saw the temperature, -2ºC (28.4ºF) and -6ºC (21.2ºF) with wind. It’s still not that warm. The man is nuts… but hey! His tush, not mine! Which you should see, by the way, nice and plump! Cycling is great for those glute muscles – no complain about that! On the contrary!!!

Besides hearing the migrating birds coming back, and seeing a lot more squirrels, it’s nice to see the yucky black snow melt away… I enjoy this time of year, the sun makes me feel better all around, I feel lighter when it’s sunny… The only thing that I really don’t appreciate about this time of year is all the dog crap melting… ahhh the smells of Spring… so many irresponsible dog owners… but wait… this year I shouldn’t really care; it won’t be my yard anymore! Yipee!

Another sign that Spring is here, last night we had our first BBQ!!! Pork chops! Thick, well seasoned and grilled to perfection – Y u m m y!

I just heard a bird chirruping... the sounds of Spring... Life is good!


*Spring is here...

Ça bouge!*

Last Monday I wrote about our situation with the in-laws, how I felt somewhat guilty about not really wanting to put our life on the back burner, and how we’ve been working on something for a while… Well, that went from “up in the air” idea to full-blown plan!

You see on Feb. 23rd a real estate agent came in to evaluate our house following a cold call that I actually didn’t dismiss. On the 25th, he was presenting us his evaluation and plan. On March 4th we drove around to see where we could live if we were to sell the house. On the 8th we met with the bank for the mortgage and on the 10th made a conditional offer on a brand new condo that is being built.

On the 12th we met with a second agent (yes, we are the type who do “shop” for an agent. We wanted somebody who would represent us well…) and got a really good vibe from her, but she was leaving on Spring break with her kids. On March 19th, we received a call from the builder of the condo; they had a buyer who wanted the unit we had “reserved” and had no condition. We had 48 hours to remove our condition of purchase (to sell our house first!). Our house wasn’t even on the market yet! Can you spell “panic”?

On the 20th we met with the agent that we preferred and put our house up for sale at about 4pm. On the 21st we had to advise the contractor that we were removing our offer on the condo – the other people could have it – we would “reserve” the last unit they had. Hopefully that one we will manage to sell our house before the contractor gets another “firm” buyer.

In between the preparation for staging the house, the putting away / sorting out stuff, and the daily viewing, I’ve been feeling a little like a pooch chasing my tale… and I’m starting to run out of breath… but it’s all soooo exciting!

By Saturday 5pm and we’ve had 8 visits! Everyone seemed to think that we have a great house; we are getting a lot of compliments about how clean it is, etc. On Sunday we were having an open house. When our agent arrived she informed us that we had received two offers, even before the open house which brought us 12 visits!

This is good - very good - Now let’s see if we can agree on a price…

***

On a totally different subject: Last night we went to see "Wild Hogs" - if you're looking for good laughs, that is the movie to see - it's a must - trust me!

*It's moving!

Bringing back a souvenir...

A husband and his wife went to a beautiful island for a vacation. It was his gift to her to celebrate her 35th birthday. They sunbathed, played sports, splashed in the pool, ate well and drank some. What a wonderful time they had. They met new people from all over the world and truly enjoyed their time together. But the vacation was over and they had to come back.

Once they were back home, the wife was often scratching under her left foot. One night, while decorating their Christmas tree her big toe was really itchy. No matter how much she would scratch, no satisfaction was to be felt. During the night, she awoke having the very strong desire to scratch her foot again. She looked at it. He looked at it. They only could see a little red spot that looked a little like a miniscule blister.

That morning, since she didn’t sleep well, she decided to go see a doctor. While driving to the doctor's office she thought that it might be ridiculous for her to go there, if it was only athlete's foot or something like that. While driving, she remembered that during their vacation, while playing volleyball in the sand, she had cut herself on a little shell. On her left foot. Later that same day, while retrieving a lost ball, she had step in mud. She wondered about it, but did not think too much of it. Maybe it was simply an allergic reaction...

After waiting for about one hour at the doctor's office, which is quite good considering the actual health care status, she went in to see what was causing the itching.

She explained to the doctor, that while on vacation in the island, she cut herself, etc. The doctor looked very interested and quite excited.
She looked at the wife's foot and said: "It's a larva migratus".
The poor wife had goose bumps all over before she could ask: "What are you saying... exactly?"
The doctor smiled and said: "You have a larva that is moving under your skin. We can take care of this."
The wife's heart was beating so fast, her throat was shrinking and she looked at the doctor: "Are you saying that there's an actual bug in my foot?"
The doctor laughed and said: "Yes! It's a beautiful textbook case. A question for a dermatology exam! You cut yourself, which was the door opening for the larva to enter you body. The skin serves as a barrier, a protection against those bugs, but as soon as there's an opening, like a cut, they go in."
The wife was simply staring at the doctor, disgusted and yet fascinated: "How can we take it out?"
The doctor was still looking at the two little red spots, one in the center of the foot and the other under the big toe: "We can burn it with liquid nitrogen. It won't be pleasant, but it should take care of it."
The only thing the wife could think of was to get that thing out of her: "Let's do it!"

She sat on the table, while the doctor prepared everything. There was not much preparation to do, get the liquid nitrogen on a stick with a cotton ball, and then touch the foot a few times until the area goes white. It made a funny sound, and the sensation wasn't too pleasant, but the wife did not care, as long as it killed the bug!

After a few minutes, the doctor told her it was done and that everything should be all right. She was warned that blisters, and then scabs would appear, which is the normal process after a burn. She scheduled another appointment with the wife a week later and send her home.

During home, while in some pain, the wife could only think of the fact that a larva was living inside her foot! The simple thought of that made her quiver. She felt sick to her stomach. She called her husband to let him know that her little nothing, was in fact a larva moving around under her skin. That night, she did not sleep well. Her foot was sensitive, but it was mostly the nightmares she had that made it hard for her to enjoy her sleep. She could see bugs coming out of her, with antenna, and wings, and lots of gooey pus! It felt real to her, and she woke up scratching herself almost until she bled.

Her husband wanted to comfort her, and caressed her softly, but she said: "If you're going to touch me, don't be light in your touch - I don't want to feel anything that could feel like a bug!" The husband laughed and caressed her with a heavy hand.

To think that a bug, a parasite, is living inside of you is quite disgusting. Just writing about it gives me the creeps again. I'm so grossed out. I'm trying to reason myself, but there was a bug, a larva, in my toe!!!
That day, it looked pretty bad, a huge blister, that I've pierced a few times, but it kept filling up. Thinking about it, makes me itch all over!

That revolting story is mine. Of all the things I could come back with from Antigua, a larva was not my first choice!!! Especially not when they have really nice men with REALLY hard butts! (I know I've tested some!) Anyway, I thought I'd share one of my many vacation stories with you.

___

Image: Antigua

Your Friday Smile!

Even if I'm a little flustered the past few days, and haven't been blogging much, I will always find time to post my Friday Smile!

***

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.

"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me."

"This one's kind of strange..."

"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.

"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies."

"I see."

"That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl."

"That night," she went on, "I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored,

"I'm scared out of my wits!"

The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Ready for this?)
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(I'm warning you...)
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(Still not too late...hit "next blog" now!)
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"You're simply going through your change!" ('Told 'ya!)

***

And this one is for shopper who enjoys quizzes...

The Pantyhose Quiz

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Now, think about it... Ready?

Answer: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, and an unknown number of hares.

And of course one (1) ...

Have a great weekend!

Je capote!*

Ever feel like everything is happening at once? Or that no matter what, or how positive you think, things are being thrown your way to a point where you just want to stand up and scream “Enough already!”?

You see, with the situation with my in-laws – I write in-laws, because we not only have to take care of the mother who is actually sick and needs attention, but we also have to look after the father – I’m starting to feel that maybe things in our lives (Hubby’s and mine) should be put on the back burner… A friend was telling me Saturday that we should no put our life on hold because of the fact that we are taking care of my in-laws. Yeah, ok…

Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon cooking for them – I prepared them little portions, individually frozen, for them to be able to eat proper meals. FIL won’t cook, and if MIL doesn’t eat, he most likely won’t either. I even prepared them some fresh fruits, so that they have that as well. All FIL has to do is open the container and eat. It can’t get simpler than that. Hubby brought them everything and when he came back he was drained. He hates the fact that he’s becoming a parent for his parents. Today we both looked in “options” : his mother cannot be taken care of, properly, at home by his father, we now know that. Something has to give on that front. Hubby is currently at the hospital with both his parents. His mom is dehydrated and his dad is ready for the Looney bin!

To top it all – I received a phone call about something that we have been working on for a few weeks. It’s not really a bad news, but it isn’t a good one either. I was actually surprised to hear Hubby’s reaction when I called him about it. I’ve been making phone calls, trying to get some re-assurance somewhere… no such luck. Things are not looking that good on that front…

A part of me feels like I used to before a math test – I hated it even if I knew what I had to study for. There are too many balls being juggled at the same time, and I don’t know where to look to make sure that things don’t fall and I’m starting to get dizzy.

I wonder if things would be better, if, for the next few months, Hubby and I, basically put our lives on hold and concentrate only on his parents? Do you think that would help? Would we feel less “pulling in every direction”? When is it that our “duties” as a child reach their limits, or even, are there limits? I don’t want to do like my friend’s brother and burnout because he took care of his dying mother while his father was not coping with the situation, nor do I want my husband to go down that lane… Where do we, as the couple that we are, fit in all of this?

I just got a call from Hubby they are admitting his mother – which is NOT a bad thing – it will give FIL a chance to recuperate a bit, and Hubby will only have to “parentsit” one parent.

What’s the expression again; when it rains, it pours? Argh!!!



*I'm going nuts!

Chat pas d'allure!*

Somebody recently asked me if I liked cats. I would be lying if I were to answer no. I do have a thing for cats, small or big, house trained or wild, I just like anything cat related really.

I walked around our house, quickly, and snapped a few shots of the cats I have (some are pictures, decorations, knick-knack...)

This is Rocky. We were on a little get away in the St-Jean-Port-Joli area (not far from Québec city) which is known for its wood carvers when we walked into this little atelier where they did address signs. They did really nice things, but they were pricey. After we returned home, we decided to go ahead and see if we could order one and have it shipped. The artist’s shop was in St-Rock-des-Aulnaies, thus his name “Rocky”.

I’ll be sad the day I’ll move from this house, Rocky will have to stay behind...

I saw this ugly thing while doing my grocery shopping; I thought it was original so I bought it.

A year later they had a new model, which I also bought with the intent of giving it to someone, but I never did.

I like the way it looks through my plants.

Every year since we got married, the friends who were our best man and matron of honour have been offering us a gift to commemorate our wedding anniversaries. For our 5th wedding anniversary, they gave us this lovely wooden couple.
They are so cute! Aren't they?

Every time we travelled, I like to get a painting representing the place and made by a local artist. We got some paintings from Barbados, Antigua, P.E.I., Hawaii and Santorini.

On one of our trips to Hawaii, I caved for my “Maui Girls”...


I also really like Sylvester (but not so much Tweety), I have a bunch of little figurines and some stuffed animals, but mostly Christmas ornaments.

Let's not forget my high school sweetheart, Garfield.

I've had this Garfield for so long, the plastic is all dried (the suction cup that was holding it, broke off), and it's been washed so often that the writing is starting to go... and yet, when I look at him on top of my stove, I smile!

I also have a few feline frames.

My favorite, which I got in the 90's while attending a karate seminar in Vancouver, is this poster. The airline I was on was so bad I had to carry it with me all the time. There was nowhere to put the tube it was in. What should have been a simple thing turned out to be almost an adventure. But I still do enjoy mon chat noir.

I just realised that I took over 25 pictures!!! Every room in our house has at least one cat in it – except for the bathrooms… for some reason. I just came to the realisation that I may have a little problem…

But of all the cats I have, this fur ball is my favourite! I just love our boy Tobi!
...and that's one problem I'm not even thinking of addressing in anyway, shape or form!

How could I? look at that face! Isn't he gorgeous?


*It makes no sense! (play on words in French)

Tickle My Fancy!

I just hosted one of those parties… you know the kind? No, not a Tupperware one, not a Partylite, nor an Aloette one, no, no, no… it was a Passion Party!

What started out as the Ultimate Girls’ Party became a Couples’ Party after I asked a few girlfriends what they would actually prefer. A date was set, unbeknown to me that would be a day when we would have a friggin’ snow storm! Four girls cancelled – the roads were really bad, but nonetheless twelve people showed up – all from the area, they didn’t have to drive “that” far.

At first, it was a little strange – not everybody knew each other. Introductions were quickly made and the representative jumped right in. She had some “interesting” products, and with names such as “Nipple Nibblers”, “Ready To Go”, “Fireworks”, or “D'Lickious” one has to be somewhat intrigued…no matter how shy one may be.

I was curious about the “Ready To Go” cream, so I went to ahead and tried it (not right then and there, I went to the bathroom!). I’m in the 20% of women for whom it doesn’t work. A girlfriend also tried it, and it did work for her…

And then we got in the “Passion Toys”… the most interesting was “Jelly Osaki” except I thought it was creepy – it had a face on it! But the way it moved, was let’s just say, interesting! It was funny to see us comparing the strength of the vibration between one bullet and another. Some of those things were kind strange looking (like the "Loving Spoon"), and some almost look painful… there was definitely something for every taste, that I’m pretty sure of!

As the hostess I got 10% of the total sales off, so I got $72.00 of free stuff! He! He!

I’d say it was an entertaining, clean, party where some of us got to explore and broaden our horizons a little more and one thing for sure we all shared some good laughs!

Your Friday Smile!

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I' m afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."

***

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she.

Have yourself a great weekend and have a few Guinness for St. Paddy!

Image: Paddy - Montréal's Mascot for St. Patrick's Parade

C'est quoi la réponse?*

This morning Hubby is driving his parents to the hospital. His dad needs a break and his mom a treatment, so he decided to go with them and see, first hand, what help is available. Imagine, a 70 years old man who, from one day to the next, went from a working house painter with his daily routine to retiree and caregiver to his wife battling cancer. Talk about a major life change! Life has he knew it is completely upside-down.

While preparing his coffee for the road, Hubby said: “I need to know what’s out there to help them, because I’m not retired and I need billable hours” (The only bad thing, really, about being self-employed: no billable hours = no money! ).

On top of trying to find help for his parents, he has to “maintain peace”. He was telling me about cracking jokes with them, to try to relax the atmosphere a bit, he asked them yesterday if he had to wear a blue helmet. Neither one of his parents got the joke. He had to explain to them about the “peace keeper”… not funny after you have to explain it, now is it?

Even though it’s not easy, and I have a feeling the worst isn’t here yet, I want us to see this “challenge” as a test or series of tests, as an opportunity to grow. With a “test” we always have the chance to succeed, whereas if we see it as a “battle” or a “problem” that we have to win or resolve, it could get rough. Instead of fighting with it, can we learn something from it? It’s just about the way we view things, and yet, it does make a big difference. We have to stop and think about it and ask ourselves, “What can I do that would help me rise above it? Can I look at this in a different way?”

We will certainly feel overwhelmed at times, but if we take a breather and remember to laugh, I’m sure we will see that everything in life is just a test. Because after all, if it wasn’t a test we would have all the answers, now wouldn’t we?

Image: Test

* What's the answer?

Façon de vivre...*

So many of us hold on to little resentments that might have come from an argument, a misunderstanding, the way we were raised or whatever else. Too often we wait for the other person to make the first move. We think that it’ the only way we can forgive or rekindle a friendship or a family relationship.

For many years I/we didn’t speak to my in-laws. Why not, you may ask? My mother in law always gave me/us a “hard time”, I did try, on many occasions, but it just wasn’t working out. Through the years we simply didn’t care to mend the relationship. She was stubborn and wouldn’t bulge. Her son, my husband, is just as stubborn. We thought she would literally prefer to die before reaching out to her only son and me.

Last summer when her health took a turn for the worst, her attitude towards us/me change for the better. Hubby wasn’t holding his breath. I was happy to see a change, even if (I must admit) I was a little freaked out about it. Her battle with cancer is a tough one. I’ve tried to help her, but old habits die-hard. Whenever we hold on to our anger, we turn “small stuff” into really “big stuff” in our minds. We believe that our positions are more important than our happiness. They aren’t. Hubby often says about his mother: “She rather be right than be happy”, sadly enough.

Over the weekend, his father dropped by. Poor man. He was/is in bad shape. His whole world, his routine is completely upside down. He doesn’t know how to cope with the situation at hand, he doesn’t understand what’s happening to his wife’s body and her attitude towards him is… let’s just say… quite harsh at times. We took the time to talk to him, and to listen. We suggested that he seeks help, professional help for himself first. He needs to take care of himself in order to be better equipped to deal with the challenge that represents his sick wife. He’s having a hard time understanding why he’s being dealt such a bad hand, when all his life he was always helpful to others… Life isn’t fair, that’s for sure.

It’s one thing to know that one day you’ll die, but to know that you’ll be doing fairly soon must be something completely different. There is one thing I do know; if I was to die tomorrow I don’t think I would have any regrets. I’m living life; I laugh daily, try not to only be myself, but be my best self. I dare to be different and to live my own life. When I make a decision I try to make it wisely. I enjoy what is beautiful and love with my heart and soul. I try to do that daily.

This morning, Hubby’s cousin sent me this:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, Never regret anything...

I’d say it’s a pretty good way to live, what do you think?

Image: Spring flowers

* Way of life...

Your Friday Smile!

"ESTROGEN ISSUES" - 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

***

Since we are "full blast" in an election campaign for a new (hopefully!) Québec Premier, I thought this one would be appropriate...

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Keep warm,
Have a great weekend
& don't forget to change your clocks on Sunday!

Image: Spring forward

New scientific study revealing about women and menstrual preferences

UCLA STUDY:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his forehead while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Ramasseuse*

What makes someone keep something? It is because of the memories that item generate? Is it because we were brought up that way – to keep things? Why?

I know that I could very well be a packrat, but I was never really faced with a space issue. We always had space for me to keep my things. If we were to move into a smaller house I could be facing some rough patches and would have to separate from many memories or at least the things that do trigger those sweet memories…

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have a lot of things – I have all my cards since birth (birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s, etc.), neatly in boxes, by year. I know, I may also very well be compulsive… I also have one of my first doll (Marie-Louise, named after the grand-mother who gave her to me), and a collection of pens, pins, matches and post-cards… everything is its respective boxes. Just this past weekend I gave away all my karate belts, except my black ones, of course! I’ve had those coloured belts for over 23 years… and Saturday I decided to part with them.

My MIL recently accused me of not being sentimental about things… That woman doesn’t know me! Having an attachment to something, I think, is very personal. It’s not because it means a lot to you that it will necessarily mean a lot to me. She keeps everything! And I’m not exaggerating when I write everything. In January, we were invited to a birthday party for cousin’s kidlet. At some point, MIL gives a bag full of baby jars to her sister. At the time I wondered where she got those jars… when she (MIL) turns around and tells me that those were jars Hubby ate as a baby! He turned 44 a few weeks ago! She kept his empty baby jars! The part that really freaked me out was when I realised that not only has she kept them, she actually moved them back in ’77 when they bought their current house!

I know parents (mothers) do keep the first pair of shoes, or first whatever, but to keep empty jars is … I can’t even express it…

When my mother decided to sell her house she had to purge, a lot. I helped her through this process. I felt like Peter on “Clean Sweep”, rationalizing with her that the memories where in her heart not in that dish she hasn’t used or seen in years! I know it was/is tough. We will most likely have to do that as well, but I don't want to wait until the day I have no other choice - I want to do it on my own terms - like for my karate belts.

We both think that we have way too much shit, and if we were to move it would be “Major Purging Time”! We’ve been thinking about starting the MPT Operation slowly, and we are (slowly being the key word here! ) – just last week Hubby filled 3 huge garbage bags full of clothes that we will bring to a local men shelter, and I gave one bag full to a friend. We’ve adopted this rule of if something new comes in, something old has to go – and it’s working.

How about you, are you the type to keep things "in case"… or because someone gave it to you? Do you have "Pack Rat" tendencies? Come on, let's hear it!

Image: Pack rats

* Pack Rat

C'est quoi ton signe? *

I'm always curious about astrology even if I don't regulate my life on it or even read it on a daily basis, I'm curious. I will always read it in magazines, but I'm not looking for it.

When I read this at Cinnamon's, I just had to post it - it's not a meme as such, but melikes, so here goes:

Once you have read this post, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictions. Read your sign, then repost this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label, or you'll get bad luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. Don't try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there.

: TAURUS The Tramp Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to #### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:VIRGO:. The Virgin Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:LIBRA:. The Lover Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:ARIES:. The Liar Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:LEO:. The Lion in bed Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at ***. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:CANCER:. The Cutie MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great at telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. Cares more about others than themselves. Loves Unconditionally. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:CAPRICORN The passionate Lover Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irritable, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

It said to "Send to 7 friends", but you may only choose to post it... or not, it's all up to you.

Oh! I'm a Sagittarius... in case you were wondering... he! he!


* What's your sign?

Your Friday Smile!

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic -- because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack. His wife had a closed casket at the wake.

After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...."

***

A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman he spotted dining alone. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.
She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in; return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman.

It read:
"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."

Have a great weekend!

I feel Fashionably Yucky

Last time I went to a swimsuit shop the only thing I really felt comfortable in was the dressing room. I started to think that “maybe” I should lose weight. The only thing that keeps me from staying on a diet is food. I love food. I often do the seafood diet: I see food and I eat it!

Who wouldn’t want to lose 20 pounds before swimsuit season? If you’ve got $5.95 there’s a magazine out there for you that can tell you how to do it. At least that’s what they pretend to from every rack at the grocery store.

Women’s magazines show touched up pictures of starved supermodels, and they pretend that is what we should look like. That is NOT perfection! The worst part is that they pretend that “that” look can be achieved without leaving the comfort of our home. Yeah sure! If their tips really worked, we’d never buy another magazine. Did you ever think about that?

Looking through magazines, I determined that if I ate what the “experts” consider the perfect diet for someone my age, height, hair colour and recycling pickup day I’d lose weight. The fact that I’d never feel like eating doesn’t have anything to do with this. I wonder if those weight-loss nuts that came up with some of these diet tips actually ever tried them? Seriously!

I know, like we all do, what I need to do to lose weight:
Step one: Get off my butt.
Step two: Move my butt.
Step three: Repeat! That’s all!

That or throw away all those magazines!

Maxine says it so well, doesn't she, when she says:

Fashion magazines are society’s way of saying “If you don’t feel inadequate already, read one of these!”