Your Friday Smile!

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.

Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.

Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year ... Namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo!" I told him, "It's been a year!"

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate my intelligence again.

***

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

Have a great weekend!

If you haven't yet, please click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday" and tell me when!

'Be Right Back!

You might have noticed that I haven’t been commenting much lately, it’s only because I haven’t been “around”. Life is getting in the way of my blogging. Most of my clients I can do from home (that sounds funny, doesn’t it?), so I can work whenever I choose and do other things like blogging, chores, laundry, etc. when I choose. When I’m at a client, it’s different. I just have to be doing whatever they pay me for while I’m there. I’ve taken on a new client, and they have a LOT of work to be done, thus me going somewhat MIA.

I want to take this opportunity to thank each one of you kind people for all the birthday wishes on Hubby’s birthday. He reads my blog and appreciated all wishes. So thank you guys so much, your “blendship” means a lot!

Life has been good overall. I can hardly believe that I’m married to a man who will hit the big 5-0 in five years… Where has time gone? I’m still awaiting my spinal tap results, and for some reason I haven’t been stressing about it at all. I’m taking it as it comes… wonder if my meditation has anything to do with that, but hey, whatever works!

I’m currently typing this from a wireless connection at “Manoir St-Sauveur" (one hour north of Montreal). We arrived a few hours ago, and are staying for a few days, thanks to our condo builder. He gave us a two nights stay, with breakfasts and one four course dinner. The place is nice, clean and walking distance from the village. I’ll try to take a few pictures. The room is nice and spacious, and smells good – which is always a pleasant surprise. I’m logging off for now, going for a quick dip before dinner. ‘later!

Chinese Eye Test

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese.

It works, you'll see!

Your Friday Smile!

A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.

The guy says, "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."

The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

***
I'm not going soft, but sometimes I like these heart-warming stories, and this one truly is amazing. Enjoy.


In 1986, Dan Harrison (see picture above) was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan , lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Have a great weekend!

If you haven't yet, please click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday" and tell me when!

Beautifully Aging Man

Today is my current favorite husband's 45th birthday!

When I look at him, I can't help to think that he's one good looking man.

He's like good wine, he's aging well!

He's also like coffee:

strong, dark (well... he's more on the "café au lait" side),
and can keep me up all night!

And I love him dearly!
And wish him a very happy forty-fifth birthday!

J't'aime gros, gros! YCWC

Answer time

As promised, here are the answers to my little quiz. Thanks to all who did try.

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing - Good answer given by: Marius and Hasarder

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute. - Good answer given by: Princess Slea and Hasarder.
But the best answer was Marius'!

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and Rhubarb. - Good answer given by: Hasarder for the Asparagus

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. - Good answer given by: Brave Astronaut, Simplypink, Ananke, Trueself and Hasarder.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems. - Good answer given by: Marius, Brave Astronaut, Ananke and Hasarder.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, Dwell and Dwindle. - Good answer given by: Marius (all 3) Ananke, Trueself and Hasarder (partial).
I would suggest that "dweeb" should be added to the dictionary, don't you think?

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation, point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. - Good answer given by: Marius, Brave Astronaut, Simplypink, Ananke, Trueself and Hasarder.
I had to look up "ellipses", didn't know those three little... were called that. I'll go to bed smarter tonight!


8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. - Good answer given by: Brave Astronaut, Simplypink, Ananke and Hasarder.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. - Good answer given by: Marius (6), Brave Astronaut (4), Ananke (3), Trueself (4) and Hasarder (6).

10. This one, by the way, was for those of you who actually know the proper way to type, what they showed in typing classes... "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand. Bet you're trying this out right now, aren't you? - Good answer given by: Noone.

This was fun, wasn't it? It sure was for me, since I had all the answers! ;-)

You know it?

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle.. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

10. Name the longest word type with only the left hand and then the longest word with the right hand.

I'll post the answers on Tuesday - have fun!

Your Friday Smile!

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine.

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,

"Good trade."

***
Two nuns, one of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they were still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to take our virginity.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And those of you who thought it would be dirty... Pray for forgiveness!!

Have a great weekend nonetheless!

If you haven't yet, please click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday" and tell me when!

*Today is Pam's birthday!

Oh joy!

I chose to work from home today. Why, you may ask? Because it friggin’ snowed again! I know, I know… we are in Québec and it does snow here. I don’t remember the last year we had such a snowy winter… it’s been years. I love snow, I do. But I hate driving in it or on it, for that matter. I’ve spent all my life in Canada, in Eastern Canada, so snow is normal. As a kid I couldn’t wait to get out and play in it. I would come in only to change my mitts, or because I had been told to. It snowed I would be out. I’ve dug many tunnels in snow banks, made snow angels while just looking at the snow falling and go sliding. That was my mom’s favourite thing, the one thing she could spend hours doing with me. The laughs we’ve had together sliding down a steep hill, the snow we ate and the sheer joy of experiencing fright was worth every single descend. We got hurt from time to time, but we didn’t care, we had too much fun! For those memories or because of them I could never truly hate winter. I dislike the cold, but that’s another thing altogether.

One of the things I still enjoy to this day is snowman building. I wish I had an imagination like Calvin’s… Somehow, when I think I could have had a child, I can’t help to think that Calvin could have been ours… I just love that kid.




Something I so could build!

Did I say I love him?
Oh, and happy Valentine's Day! xox

Different for "Them"

Yesterday, while at a client, we talked about how certain things were easier for men than for us women.

One of the main thing, for me, is the fact that they can pee anywhere. That is one “feature” that I’m really envious of at times.

For example, you’re at a fair and there aren’t any toilets other than the porta-potties. For the women’s there is ALWAYS a line, a looong line; for the men only a few guys waiting. Once you actually make it in, the smell that hits you almost knocks you back out, trying to control your gag reflex you look down to see that there’s pee all over the seat. I can’t help to think how disgusting we, women, can be. Nobody wants to sit on that thing, I get that, but please if your aim is that bad, you could at least wipe it. Which brings on the other issue of “toilet paper” or lack there of. If there’s none, we then have to go through our pockets or purses, hanging around our neck, because there’s no way in hell we’re putting our purses on that filthy floor, in search of some tissue. I’m sure it must be very entertaining to watch us women in there, or in public restrooms with a kid, who often is being told “Don’t touch that!” Sure we can do the Japanese way (squat), but then we can’t help to get grossed out by the fact that something might splatter on our shoes! Oh the joys of needing a toilet…

For men, they can wipe it out anywhere, do their thing, shake it off and off they go. They’re not in there long enough to let the smell or pee drops bother them and they just don’t care about the smell. Actually they do care, but choose not to. And that’s just for bathroom issue, I could go on about so many other things because there are many others… Just read this, you’ll see!

Men Are Just Happier People…

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes; one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

I don't know if men are happier, but their way seems a lot easier somehow...

Farewell & Catching up

I don’t know if it’s the time of year, or simply the fact that I need a vacations or because I've been busy for the past two weeks but life seems to be zooming by me. I haven’t been blogging much, and was really sad to read Pigeon’s last post. She decided to fly away from Blogsville. I'll miss reading her blog and her rants as if she was this old English woman when in fact she's a sweet young thing... She felt it was time for her to dedicate herself to her work and less time to blogging, which I totally respect, but I will miss her nonetheless... No matter what, she was, is and will remain a good blend! Good luck Chuck!

Had a nice relaxing weekend up north, in Tremblant, at a cousin's cottage. Everything was white, and soooo quiet, what a nice (& much needed) change from the city. We did manage to go snowshoeing for a short while, around the lake, but when we saw "open water" that was our cue to turn back. Overall, it was a good weekend.

A little while back I saw this on a blog (can’t remember for the life of me where) and thought it was interesting.

You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash, honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Seems accurate, especially the part about my honesty and the fact that I spell my (real) name with an E! Plus just like Anne, I'm Canadian.

Your Friday Smile!

An older man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"

The wife yells back to him, "Give him your underwear!"

***

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

Have a great weekend!
If you haven't yet, please click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday".

Happy Rat Year!

Today is Chinese New Year. We are entering the year of the Rat...

Happy New Year to all who do celebrate this event!

___
Image: Rat in Chinese Horoscope

Mary Jane Fuchsia

If someone had said to me: “One day you’ll wear pink and actually like it” I would have laughed in his/her face. And if he/she had said: “One day you’ll buy Crocs” I would have answered: “Yeah, maybe, for someone else!”

I’ve never been a fan of Crocs. I did try a pair a few years back, and yes they were comfortable but the thought of wearing them “out” was just not for me. Too bulky, too much like clogs, and way too wide. Like many of us out there, I have this ugly toes aversion, so for some wearing Crocs in the summer instead of the airy, toes-out flip-flops is a good thing. At least in Crocs I don’t have to see those ugly, dried, full of calluses toes/feet. That is the one good thing I liked about them.

By the way, this is the time of year when people with ugly toes should be doing something about it. Talk to your doctor, he might be able to help with those fungus. Go get a pedicure, you’ll see, it does feel great during and after it’s even better! I did karate, barefoot, for over twenty years and never had those ugly calluses or those cracked heels. I had (and still do!) smooth, well-maintained feet. During all those years I never once painted my toenails, never really felt the need or want.

The year we got married, since we were doing the deed on the beach, barefoot, I got a treat for my toes. I got a French manicure. I loved it. Since then, every summer I paint my toes. I also realised that I love bright colours down there. And, I have a nail on each toe! Not a little piece, or a “want to be a nail, but don’t have much room to grow” thing, but a full nail. Also, since that year, I realised that I was “turning” girlier… Things I didn’t care about much before were starting to interest me, like makeup, jewellery, etc. I wasn’t a big pink fan (the colour, because I actually really enjoy the singer!), I would wear it once in a while, I had a few tees, but it wasn’t my first choice.

Last week, we watched “The Celebrity Apprentice” and their task had to do with Crocs. I liked the company and what they are doing. I like good causes, and recycling old Crocs to send them to children in countries in need is a great idea.

Long story short, Saturday I bought these: They are narrower than the regular Crocs, which is great for me since I have long and narrow feet. The model is called "Mary Jane" and the colour is Fuchsia. I decided to get those to replace my no heels slippers. I hate to admit it, but I'm at an age when standing for hours (cooking) gets to my back. I needed something to absorb and with a little heel. These are great! They are super comfy, and with the straps I won't lose them coming down the stairs or backing up (used to do that with my other slippers). And since I was buying them, might as well get some jewels for them... Hee. A little penguin (Hubby's mascot) and a paw. Admit it, they're not that bad!

I think they're cute, and boy are they comfy! All good! BUT, these are for the house alone...

I wonder why?

Friday Brave Astronaut left a comment saying that when he saw this strip (which we don't get over here) he thought of me...



'Wonder why... Could it be because I signed my emails like those two?! Hummm.

I Know!

Pigeon had a little test about "Friends" to find out which character we are.

I did the test and guess what, I'm Monica!

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Monica. You have a go-all-out nature. Your friends better watch out, because you play to win. Also, when it comes to order and cleanliness, you're a bit obsessive compulsive. Your best trait, however, is your thoughtfulness. You go to great lengths to care for your friends.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Anybody who really knows me will most likely agree with this, right? 'Cause I sure do!

Your Friday Smile!

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night.

Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy."

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "What the..." he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. "Damn!" He says.

He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of Fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No flappin' way."

But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, "I think I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub."

***

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't!

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia
Coli,(E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service .

Have a great weekend!
If you haven't yet, click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday" and tell me, please.