It's not right!

I'm out of breath! Not from running, nah, I don't really do that. Not from doing exercise either... nope. I'm put of breath because I let other people's lack of planning or organisation constitute an emergency on my part. It's my problem, I know. I'm fully aware of this, and yet, despite some efforts I can't seem to completely "let it slide" or do like Hubby says so well "F*ck it all!"

Maybe I'll ask my GP on Saturday for a prescription for those little suckers... Maybe they would do the trick!

In the mean time, I have to vent a little, yet again. April was a "windy" (vent) month for me, wasn't it? Oh well. Earlier today I received an email from the Canadian Cancer Society. As you may remember, I'm doing this Relay for Life thing in a month or so, and our team (VIGILANT) is doing great. We are 5th among the top ten for our district (Montreal-Centre). I'm happy about that.

When I decided to put together a team it was because one: I wanted to do it (again) because who among us hasn't been touched by cancer in some ways, and two: because I wanted to contribute to cancer research. It might be utopian of me to think that the money given actually goes to research, but hey... I did put a team together and we're 12. I'm trying to keep the focus on the fact that first and foremost this is a fund raising activity, not only a "fun night" walking. The Society "expect" each participant to raise a minimum of $100 (in addition to the $10 fee to sign up, which entitles you to a T-Shirt, breakfast, soup, etc.) That's cool, it's a fundraiser, remember. Today when I got that email stating that each participant is “also encourage" to sell/buy at least 5 luminaries (at the cost of $5/ea.) it rubbed me wrong. What's next? Already a member of the team wants to quit because she doesn't feel worthy because she's not bringing in that much money and can't really afford to buy luminaries... This is not sitting well with me. I will let them know, on Tuesday night during the Captains' meeting that I don’t agree with their way of doing this, and that most likely next year I won’t be raising money for them.

Yes it is a fundraiser, but it shouldn't be about pressing people to sell. Not many of us are really comfy asking others for donations and to add the luminaries... I don’t want this experience to be all about money. There’s more to it than that. Granted without luminaries the path would look completely different and it wouldn’t be as touching. That was one of my favourite moments last year. To think that each of those little candles is burning in honour or in memory of a person touched by cancer is moving to say the least…

I think I'm done for now... Time for bed & to catch my breath a little.

Middle-Aged Woman

Too many things...

...going on at that moment to be blogging, wouldn't know where to start, so...

The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those whom you 'know' or thought you knew....

Two Names You Go By:
1. Stinkypaw
2. Jo

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Track pants
2. T-shirt

Two things You Expect in a Relationship:
1. Great sense of humour
2. Intelligence

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. Nothing
2. Eat

Two Things You Want Very Badly at the Moment
1. To be pain free
2. To have more money

Two pets you had/have:
1. Cat, Tobi
2. Dog, Cathy (past)

Two things you did last night:
1. Watched a movie
2. Worked

Two Things you ate last night:
1. Whippets
2. Rice cakes

Two people you talked to last night
1. Hubby
2. Bitta

Two things you are doing tomorrow
1. working
2. Attend my meditation class
Two longest car rides

1. Montreal to Miami, FL
2. Montreal to Charlottetown, P.E.I.

Two favorite holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Halloween

Favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Diet Coke

Your Friday Smile!

A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

The German doctor replied, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

Then the British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

And finally a Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House and now half the country is looking for work.'

Just had to share this one... tee hee

***

and to even things out...

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical.

Our OIL is located in ALBERTA, BRITISH COLUMBIA, MANITOBA, COASTAL NEW BRUNSWICK AND COASTAL LABRADOR.

Our DIPSTICKS are located in OTTAWA, ONT.!!!

Any Questions?
NO? Didn't think So.

Enjoy your weekend!
& please tell me your birthday!

Yet another one

Dear Reader,

I just got back from seeing my neurologist to get the results of my spinal tap, done exactly four months ago today. From the MRI, it seems that it might be MS, but I don’t show enough symptoms to know for sure. The tap’s result didn’t show any virus, inflammation, etc., which is good news. My MRI did show some spots on my brain, indicative of MS, but because I’m not symptomatic the neurologist wants to do another MRI to see if there’s any change. I might have simply been born with white spots on my brain. This could explain a lot…

I still don’t know why I have a constant headache, but this time I got some medication prescribed to take care of that. Hopefully it will take care of that part.

I have a little confession to make. It may come to you as a surprise. It may even upset you. Actually I know it will. I know you read my blog even if you rarely leave a comment. My blog, from the start, was a place for me to vent, to joke around, to be “me”. I don’t pretend to be something (or someone) I am not. If you know me at all you do know that I like to tease, and that at times I can also be perceived as mean. I wrote “perceived” because; personally I don’t think I am. I’m direct and honest, and even confrontational, as my husband likes to point out.

One of the things I truly enjoy is misleading people, or “play with people’s head”. People are too often gullible. They take things for granted and don’t verify anything. They assume. As I’m growing older I try to develop my vigilance a lot more. I ask questions when I don’t know. You know that I’ll do a perception check if I need to. I even did it here; asking fellow bloggers if I’ve written something to upset them if I don’t see them around much. That is me. I understand that we’re not all the same. I would love nothing better than for you to inquire directly. If you want to know how I’m doing, why don’t you simply ask me? If I don’t want to answer you, I will tell you. If you want to know if I’m writing about something or someone you do know, ask me. I will tell you.

Please, don’t ASSUME, because like they say it makes an ASS of U and ME!

‘Love ‘ya!

Stinkypaw

Must vent again

I need to vent! I just got back from a client and I’m feeling like I should be an old lady or something, because the kids nowadays… argh.

One of my clients operates a family business, a real family business. Everyone working there is related. It’s great in the familial sense but hell on the other side, if you ask me. The owner has two kids, nice people. Because they work for their father they are getting away with murder. The things they do! They should consider themselves lucky to have a job at this point. If they were anywhere else, in a real work environment, their lazy asses would be out the door so fast!

They do things when they feel like it. It’s a nice sunny day today; let’s take a long lunch. Can you believe that they left at 11:30 am for lunch and came back at 2:30 pm. But you can’t say anything to them, no sir! Those two are willing to put in longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours. I’m not even talking about all the time they spend chatting or just surfing the web. It’s unreal. I remember feeling proud of having a job, but for them it’s just something to pay the bills. That’s another thing; because it is a family business they are milking that cow dry. Everything is a company expense, and nobody verifies or controls anything. It’s ridiculous.

You can see that the son has some issues, and a few sessions on a couch of a good therapist wouldn’t hurt him. Don’t get me started on the daughter. The sweetest girl you want to meet, but soooo slow… Tai-chi people move faster than her on a good day. Today I felt like telling her “If you want a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road.”

Working at this client makes me feel like Maxine when I come out of there. I’m beyond myself and flabbergasted about how they take things for granted. It is due to them, because after all it is their father’s business. Argh! I’ve tried to tell them to work as if they owned the business. Turns out they are lazy owners who just don’t care if the whole thing goes down the tubes… I’m so glad I don’t have any ungrateful kids of my own.

I’m feeling a little better now that I got that off my chest!

Beautiful Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day!

Let's try to save Earth!
It's the only planet with chocolate!!

__
Image: Beautiful Earth

Well said sir!

Friday's poster joke brings me to this speach from Mr. Cosby, which I love, by the way.

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English...

I can't even talk the way these people talk ...

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk! And then I heard the father talk!
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. These lower economic people are not holding up their end in the deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics'.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2 ? ? Where were you when he was 12 ? ? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol ? ? And where is the father ? ? Or who is his father ?

People putting their clothes on backwards: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something ?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from?? We're not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap... and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighbourhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or partners, or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.

We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

It's NOT about color...
It's ABOUT behavior !!!

Your Friday Smile!

Appropriate for this time of year...

Retirement Planning:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.


***

When I saw this one, I couldn't help to think of all of you with teens, for some strange reason...

Happy Friday!

If you haven't yet, click on my sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday"
and tell me when your birthday is, please!

Second Open Letter

Dad,

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I never thought it would happen or even that I would write it, but I do miss you. Remember how you used to tease me about me missing you but being too proud to admit it? Seems to me like you were right. Once more. If someone had told me that I would end up quoting you and thinking of you almost on a daily basis, I would have laughed in his or her face. Things do change, don’t they?

Last week I was talking with a friend, and at some point in our conversation she said “That’s one of your father’s quality, isn’t it, that you’re so direct and such a straight shooter?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I never thought of that as a quality, it was just the way my dad was. But she was right; it is one of your best qualities that you’ve passed on. Some people may disagree, but that’s their problem.

Can you believe it’s been nine years since we’ve last seen each other? I can’t. And yet, on this day you decided to walk out of our lives. You decided and executed, just like every other times you’ve decided something. You did it. I often wonder if you’re still around, or if you’re really gone. I sure hope that no matter where you ended up that you’re doing better, healthier than when you left us. I hope you’ve found that peace you were so despaired for. I hope you’ve made peace with some, if not all, your demons.

When I think of you I can help to think of the last time I saw you. You looked so frail, so weak and fragile, and oh so sad. You knew you would hurt us by leaving, like it was hurting you I’m sure. The sadness on your face is forever burnt among my memories of you. When I think of you, and recall that look of yours, I can’t help but feel this wave of emotions rising. It’s a big mixture of love, sadness, anger & compassion.

I miss you dad. Despite my best effort I see that I am my father’s daughter. You’ll be happy to know that I have a great man by my side, who accepts me despite having inherit not only some of your qualities but some of your faults as well. He’s nothing like you, but he does have one big common thing with you, he does love me.

I want to thank you again for being my father, for always being there when I grew up and despite your special way with me, I’m happy to say that despite the rough way I was brought up I always felt loved. That, I appreciate today. I now realise how much you loved me and for that I’m very grateful. You gave me everything I wanted and with that some values, some discipline, some beliefs and unconditional love. Thank you.

I sincerely hope to come across you again, somewhere, maybe in my next life, because you were a great teacher. I truly wish you well & know that I do love you and every time I find a penny I know that you’re watching me.

Je t'aime & tu me manque.

Ta fille, Stinkypaw

Happy Birthday Amanda!

Happy Birthday dear fellow blogger!
Miss you a lot, hope to read you again soon.
All the best, chuck!
xox

Image: Pigeon's Birthday

Too much pain

My body is talking to me, and yes I know that more exercise in my routine would be beneficial, I know all that, and I also know that I'm the one in pain here! I hurt from the moment I get up to the moment I get into bed and even while I sleep pain wakes me when I turn in bed, so, please… I know you’re well intentioned and only want me healthy, but there are some things going on with me that nobody knows about, not even the f*cking doctors! Can you believe that I went for my spinal tap on January 24^th, and to THIS day I haven’t heard f*ck all from the neurologist! I don’t remember how many friggin’ messages I’ve left. At first his secretary would say “it takes a while for results to come in”, then the results were in, but she couldn’t tell me what they were. Last week they were off on vacation, and today they are closed. It’s completely ridiculous and yes I should change doctor, but I’m not willing to go through other tests like I’ve been through so far. There’s enough pain coming my way. A friend of mine, who’s about to retire as a nurse, suggested to get a lawyer involved. I might have to think about this.

I’m not looking for sympathy here, I’m just venting. I’m frustrated and in pain. The constant headache and neck pains are really getting to my moral. I try to keep up the brave happy front, and not show that I’m constantly in pain, the only one who really knows how much I hurt is Hubby, and it’s taking its toll even on him. I’m tired, physically & mentally. I don’t remember what I did or who I was in a previous life, but this life’s karma was all about pain, that much I know. I had to learn about suffering, and I think that by the time I’ll die I will have learn lots about it, that’s for damn certain.

Anyway, I received this video from a friend, and despite being long (18 min.) I think it is worth watching. Enjoy!

Your Friday Smile!

Seriously, only women can understand how hilarious this is...

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP!
Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out... must stay conscious... must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairypelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glorythat is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!
I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color...

Cheers to the woman who wrote it and happy Friday everyone!
If you haven't yet, click on my sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday"
and tell me when your birthday is, please!

One of many...

I received an email from Nablopomo in which it was stating that April was the month of “Open Letters”, so I figured I would have a little venting session in that format.

Dear Linda,

From the moment I join the class I had this feeling that you and I would lock horns. During the past four years I haven’t said much anything to you, besides a quick hello when I come in. There’s something about you that just doesn’t sit right with me. I know that you don’t like the person who introduced me to the class. It’s obvious and mutual, but I am not that person. I’m my own person.

A little while back you "accused" me of eavesdropping on your conversation before class. I was taken aback by that comment, but didn’t even reply to you. I chose to ignore you. It was too futile, even for me. Go figure!

I would like you to know, that if I do show up early in class, it is not to listen to your lame ass stories but to make sure I do have parking nearby and a proper seat. To think that I would come in just to listen to you, munching away on your chips and talking with your mouth full is all the proof I needed to confirm that you are conceded and vain. For your information, my world does not evolve around you, far from it.

Tonight, the way you got up and jerked away when I turned my head in your direction was hilarious and yet quite sad. My dear, you have some serious issues. I did try to befriend you, I admit, I would smile and say hi at times, but since the evening you looked at me with this disgust look on your face and asked me what I wanted from you, you completely turned me off.

Also, please have the decency to stay home if you don’t feel like meditating. You were very annoying tonight playing with your bracelet, taping your feet and finally taking out your keys. For the teacher to stop the meditation period and tell you to leave must tell you something, or are you so self-involved that you didn’t even noticed that? A little respect of others would kill you either.

No matter what, please know that I will keep on showing up early, looking in your direction at times, I will keep on sitting in front of you and if you have a problem with that, then just keep on huffing and puffing as you normally do, you're so good at it!

And by the way, when your friggin’ cell phone rings, answer the damn thing or turn it off!

Sincerely,

Stinkypaw

Will you remember?

When pooch passed away last year, I took comfort in knowing that she would be waiting for me by the Rainbow Bridge. I trusted her to remember me. Isn’t that strange how even without having any proof of this, I would choose to believe that my little pooch is awaiting me somewhere?

I was asked recently why, if there is a God, does he/she/it choose to make us suffer before we die? I’m not talking about accidental, sudden death, but the type of death where we see our loved ones go through, i.e. long, slow and suffering. Anyone who has seen someone battling cancer will know what I’m talking about. At the time I answered that we suffer in order to appreciate the good days. I’ve been thinking about this, I even asked my meditation teacher about it. The hardships make us appreciate the good times even more. But there must be something else also.

I do believe that our passage here is only a short pit stop during a long voyage. Yeah, that’s it. We are here only for a brief moment, some shorter than others. How we spend this time is up to us. I believe in living each day as if it was my last, or at least trying to. I don’t want to be on my deathbed wishing I’d done more. I know many people who never talk about death; it’s just something they don’t talk about. Some it’s out of fear, others out of superstition, or just plain discomfort. Why are we here? What is the point of all this? Not many of us will truly leave a mark on this world; there was only one Napoleon or Caesar so to think that we will make a difference is pretty cocky.

When people retire from work, it doesn’t take that long that we forget about them. I’ve seen this also when somebody changes job, or move somewhere. Oh, we always say: “It won’t be the same without you around” or “Let’s keep in touch” or “Don’t forget about us”, but that’s the first thing we do. We forget.

Ever wonder how long it will take people to forget you? I do. Even if I do think I am unforgettable (ha!), I do know that I will be forgotten, no matter how much I do. We forget. Whenever I think of relatives that passed away many years ago, I can’t help but notice that their features are not as sharp as they once were. Of course I have pictures to refresh my memory, but it’s not the same. Same thing for friends I haven’t seen in many years. Time does leave its marks on us, and we change, thus affecting the way we look. That is one change that isn’t always for the best.

No matter how good, kind, or honest we try to be, I can’t help to wonder if you will remember me after I die?

Oh, and my teacher says that we suffer in order to get close to God and to welcome him/her/it in our lives…

Your Friday Smile!

***

A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the back yard and put his dick in a vice.

She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband was terrified, and screamed, 'Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off, are you?'

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and quickly sauntered off, saying, 'Nope. I'm going to set the shed on fire. You do whatever you have to'.

Have a great weekend!
If you haven't yet, click on my sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday"
and tell me when your birthday is, please!

For a laugh

Do you remember that episode of "Friends" when Joey has to learn some French lines?

This girl is actually worst than Joey when Phoebe was trying to teach. That was one of my favorite episodes, because I could so relate.

I remember, when I first started learning English
I would make up words as to what they sounded like to me...
I would hear a song and sing along with what I thought was being said.

I wonder if I was that bad?!