"Man In Glass House Should Not Throw Rocks"

Last week we met Hubby’s cousin and her husband for dinner. She reads this blog (Hi Mousse!), and because she does she asked me about something I’ve posted a while back in which I had written that I was brewing a post, but never really talked about it again.

I chose not to at the time, because I didn’t want to offend some readers (I have this talent, it seems…), but it’s been a little while so I figured I would address it.

A few of the blogs I read had posts about a fellow blogger in need of monetary help. I will not get into the details, but let’s just say that this lady has serious health and financial problems. Somebody else wrote a post and commented on her situation. Things were written and tempers got in the way, and as usual in these situations some things were blown out of proportions. I’m not saying it was wrong nor right, I’m just relating the facts, grossly, and that is all.

With recent events in my life, I can’t help and wonder what I would do, if I was facing death and couldn’t afford treatments? There is one major benefice in living in this country, our medical system is free. Yes it does come with long waiting periods, but still, we don’t have to pay to see a doctor. And that is worth a lot. I have a hard time with the concept that some government will “invest” billions of dollars in order to save the economy when its population is sick and can’t afford treatments or medication. There is something seriously wrong with this. Sorry, I digress.

This lady was a point where she could no longer feed her kids and cover her cancer treatments. It’s sad. It’s infuriating. And yet, I can’t help and wonder: if she’s that broke how come she’s blogging? If she’s this sick, why is she wasting time on here instead of with her kids? ? I’m NOT judging her, I’m asking myself questions. I was thinking how would I spend my time in that situation?

When I say I’m not judging, I’m not. With what I’ve seen when I delivered the Family Christmas Baskets, I’ve learned not to judge. At least I try not to. It’s hard at times. I also came to realise we don’t all have the same values and don’t all react the same ways. I know what it means to make a choice, even if I never had to choose between food or treatments. I’m not saying I’m not judgemental, because that would be a lie. I do judge people, at times, on the way they dress (like at the funeral home), or on the way they behave. I will also admit that I will judge people on what they eat. I’ve said it before, I’m a food snob. I can live with that. But one thing I try not to do is to judge someone who is struggling and asking for help. In my book, that takes a lot of courage and not everybody is willing to expose him or herself that way. Would you?

What about you?

I don’t know about you, but I can hardly believe that we are almost done with the month of September. In less than three months we will be getting ready to face 2009, I just can’t believe it. Where did the year go? Summer came and went, without me even noticing it. It hit me today that Fall was already here. Some trees have their leaves, others are changing colours and I only noticed it this afternoon. By the time we come back from our vacation, winter will be here. Argh. I’m not ready for winter yet. I still need to soak up the sun some more. Hopefully I’ll get to do that soon.

Before that, tomorrow, our “made to measure” Murphy bed will be delivered and installed, I’m so excited about it. I can’t wait to see what it will look like. We’ve put things in storage, and can’t help to notice, once more, that we have way too much crap! I guess we do enjoy “deadlines” since we’re having the bed delivered on Monday and our guests, from Switzerland, are arriving on Friday. It’s been too long since we last saw them. I’m sure we’ll have a few late nights while they’ll be in town.

We’re trying to sell one of our cars. We put it up for sale last week. We’re only selling it because we’ve moved here. We don’t really need two cars, especially not downtown. We can take public transport or walk to many places. We really don’t want to relive last year’s experience with the snow. Having one car, in the garage, will be good and so much easier. And, it will mean fewer expenses. A little more money will be welcome.

Besides that, we buried the ashes of my mother's beau on Saturday, so that chapter is really closed. I couldn't believe that my favorite man of all times, he was "the" man for me, even in his older days, Mr. Newman is no longer. How sad...

On the work front, both Hubby and myself have lots of work, and too little time to do everything. Despite moments where I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, I’d say things are good… How about you, how are things?

Your Friday Smile!

A farmer orders a glass of champagne in a bar.
A woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence,' the farmer says, 'This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.'
'This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence,' says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I'm pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man... 'I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence...'

Enjoy your weekend!

That’s all I have time for!

• Have been busy... and despite all that I did manage to keep away from trouble! Yay me!

• Have been at clients almost everyday, unusual to be around so many people. Scary.

• Monday night was invited to see Sheryl Crow’s show. Went. Worst sounding concert ever. Good thing ticket was free!

• Fighting a cold for the last six days – tiresome.

• Made arrangements for burial of ashes of mom’s beau. On our family plot. Not crazy about that idea, but letting it go…

• Put our car for sale, Monday night and might have buyer. Bringing it in for an inspection this afternoon. Wish us luck.

• Typical: open mouth, inserted foot: offered to help a friend who just opened a restaurant. She does need help. Will be working tonight.

• Haven’t been a waitress in YEARS. That will be interesting. Especially for the clients.

• Need to prepare room for Murphy Bed installation. Exciting.

• Can’t wait to go on vacations. Please. Twenty more dodos.
  

• Before that we will be Hotel for friends from CH. Yay, visitors!

• Even before that, need a good waxing.

• Huzzah for fall – long pants, my best friends!

• Feel like should get me one of those:

• Enjoying life, can you tell?
  

Picture it. Montreal. 2008...ah what the hell am I saying?

Some days I feel my age more than others. Yesterday was one of those days. We had some errands to run and made our way, on foot. Hubby went in a store and I decided to wait outside. I stayed there, looking at people around me. It was a beautiful day and there were lots of people out. A girl walked by with her dog, which looked as if it was the result of a cross between a Dalmatian and a Schnauzer. It really made a strange looking dog. A young couple was walking in the opposite direction. The guy did a double take on the dog and said something about its look, and kept walking. As he walked pass me, I couldn’t help to smell the very distinct smell of marijuana. They were smoking a joint, just like that as if it was a regular cigarette, in broad daylight on Ste-Catherine St. I guess it’s true that nothing is the same anymore…

What ever happened to the times when we, as people, were intimidated by a police officer? When we knew what was illegal and were scared shit to get caught? I remember growing up I felt that I was the only one who had strict parents, and now I wonder if I was in fact the only one. To this day, I have respect for others, and for the law. I’m not saying that I don’t speed when driving, or don’t do anything wrong, but I still have this fear respect for authority and what it means… Maybe it’s because my father pounded me (literally!) with it, but I know the difference between right and wrong.

I remember having to dress up, every Sunday, to go to church. That was also the day we would visit relatives. I always wore clean pants, skirts or dresses when going out somewhere. I still do. Last week I was meeting a potential client. I made sure I was wearing pants before making my way to his office. I wasn’t comfortable to meet him wearing jeans. I only do bookkeeping, it's not like I was going for a top executive position. I realised as I was driving there, that those values are well rooted in me. Some things should not be worn. At my mom’s beau funerals I was shocked to see his son (a 50+ years old man) wearing jeans, bellow his belly, with a shirt that was so wrinkled it looked like it had been dug from the laundry basket. What a sad looking man, and I’m not talking about being sad for the loss of his father!

The way some people dressed I would maybe wear on a day when I’m doing yard work, and even then I would at least colour match, ‘cause I’m anal that way. You think I’m being a snob or judgemental? Too bad! I always thought there’s a place and time for everything, and plastic flip-flops are not the correct footwear at a funeral home, neither are construction boots. There is no way in Hell either one of my parents would have let me leave home wearing something like this as a kid. Even now, if I had shown up dressed that way, my mother would have made a snarky remark, for sure.

We just don’t care anymore. We don’t care about how we look, how we dress, how we act, nothing matters. We don’t respect anything including ourselves, others and it’s all good. Yep… I’m feeling like an old broad… can you tell?

Your Friday Smile!

A farmer orders a glass of champagne in a bar.
A woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence,' the farmer says, 'This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.'
'This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence,' says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I'm pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man... 'I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence...'

***

And sice we are right smack in the "Political Season", I couldn't help laughing when I saw this...

Have a great weekend,
and go wish Liz, a happy birthday!

There is a difference between "want" and "hate"

Coming out of a client’s today, a woman was waiting by the door with a baby in her arms. The eyes on that baby were so big and blue; I couldn’t resist making a comment about them. I lightly touched the child cheek and she smiled up at me. What a cutie! As I drove home, I caught myself thinking that if some friends had seen me, comments would have been made. We are kid free. For many people, not being a parent means that we don’t like kids. In Hubby’s case, it’s a fair assessment, but not in mine. I will not speak/write for Hubby, but only for myself.

Two years ago (already, geez, I’ve been at this blogging thing for a while now!) I did write something about our choice. I stand by what I wrote. Not much has changed since then, except my ability to have a child. That alone took care of a lot. Granted, if ever, the need to be a mother would strike me, I would seriously think of adoption, but I’m not there yet. I say yet, because I will admit that at times, I wonder. I wonder how it would be. I think it’s only natural for me to marvel at the “what if”.

Unlike Hubby, it does affect me when I hear people say things about how much my parents or his parents would have liked to be grandparents. My mother reminds me sometimes that she would have love to play grandma… I understand that, but that wasn’t and still isn’t reason enough to have a child. My choice doesn’t mean I hate kids, it only means that I do not WANT one. What I don’t like are crying or obnoxious ones. Those are don’t care about. But then again, I’m fully aware that it’s not the child’s fault if he/she doesn’t have parents who will teach him/her respect of oneself and of others. I get all that.

Saturday evening, Hubby’s aunt called me, in a panic, because she was babysitting her granddaughter and she thought she was having an allergic reaction or something and wanted to bring her to the hospital to be looked at. I drove from downtown to the Waste Island to pick her and the child up and back in town, to the hospital. I sat in the waiting room, filled with crying babies, coughing and sneezing who knows what, for four hours. I never said anything; I carried all the stuff around (read Curious George, diaper bag, coat, etc) and waited. I was happy (well, sort of) to help. The chicklet was fine in the end, nothing but a stuffy nose.

I must say that I was a little upset, not because I wasted all that time, on an empty stomach, but because parents never think of me as someone who could help. It pisses me off that because I never got pregnant; people think I won’t know what to do with a child. I’m not stupid; I’m just not a mother. At times I feel as if giving birth is something prestigious. Yes, it is miraculous when you think of it, but there is so much more to being a parent, than spreading your legs and pushing a baby out. So, please, so looking at me as this clueless thing who couldn't handle your child and next time, instead of putting me on the “in case of emergency” list, think of me as someone who could also take care of your child, ok?

Karma is really a...

If you believe in karma, and such, like I do, then once can't help and wonder WTF did I do in a previous life to pay back so much karma? I mean, really. If I’m here to learn something more, to discover myself, etc., than I must have been really dense in my previous life because there are a LOT of lessons thrown my way in this life.

If you think of dealing with death alone, just that I have pretty much seen all ways one could die: natural death, accidental death, due to sickness, self-inflicted, name it I’ve seen it. And I mean, really seen it. I’ve also learnt from it all. I’ve learned that we must cherish the time we have with our loved ones, because life is short and we never know when it can be over. I’ve learned to tell people how I really feel (not that this has ever been a real issue with me), and not take anyone for granted. We all die.

If you think of dealing with pains and aches, I’ve experienced a lot of those as well. I wish I could say that I’ve learned something, but the only thing I truly believe I did learn was to enjoy every moments I’m pain free. They are few and far in between. I still consider myself healthy and manage to carry on despite the pains. The first surgery I had I wasn’t even 5 years old!

If you think of dealing with morons, I’ve often considered myself a “moron magnet” as Hubby puts it. They are everywhere, and like that kid in “The Sixth Sense”, I see dead dumb people. I know what I have to learn from it; patience, which is really not my strong suit. I’m trying but man it’s hard! Especially when dealing with people too stupid to realise that you’re only trying to help them. I realise that one other thing I must learn is to let go. I have to let go and trust in things beyond my control. “Act as if everything depended upon me, and pray as if everything depended upon God…” man, that’s one tough lesson!

Your Friday Smile!

'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.'

***

Things you don't say to your wife...

Enjoy your weekend,
and let's not forget!

All done...

You might have guessed why I haven’t been around so far this week (not that you’d miss me or anything like that), my mother’s beau past away early Monday morning.

She had called me on Sunday, in a panic, because he had just slipped into a coma, and his two kids had decided to leave since he was no longer responsive. They didn’t want to see him like this. As if my mother did! Hubby and I made our way to the hospital. I had planned to stay with her and support her in whatever her decision would be. She was exhausted and very nervous. We spent the night up talking and reminiscing. I was there for her and that was what mattered to me.
Monday morning, since we didn’t sleep a wink we started to take care of things. We made the funeral arrangements, ordered flowers, placed an add in the paper, advised people, planed a buffet, etc. It was a long day. By the time I left her place, after one of her brother showed up, I was done. I got home, took a long hot shower, ate a bowl of cereal and crashed. According to Hubby I was knocked out cold. I did sleep for over ten hours. Tuesday was the viewing. What a long, strenuous, sad day.

This morning was the funeral service. Even if I wasn’t close to him, I did like him. He was a good old man, so I paid him a little tribute during the eulogy. I was a little more emotional than anticipated, and for that I blame my tiredness.

It’s always in occasions like these that you realise who your friends are. I was happy to see that some of our friends came to pay their respect even if they didn’t really know him nor my mother, but out of “respect” for me, they came. That touched me. I’m thankful for the really good friends in our lives.

Overall, everything went well and according to plan. Of course, I could tell you about how some people have no concept of respect and self-presentation; how I felt odd doing all the preparations when the deceased’s kids didn’t even offer to help in anyway… By the way, when I say “kids” both of them are older than I am, and not only by a few months, let’s think years. Since it’s been a long four days, I’ll leave you with this. I must say, it’s good to be home and to think that at least that part of the process is done. Now, I’ll have to deal with my mother’s sadness and take care of her… but that, I can manage, at least I think so…

Interesting little test

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPC - The Daydreamer

"You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow."

Curious about this, try ithere. It seems pretty accurate as far as I'm concerned... at least today. Thanks Seeker

Your Friday Smile

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

Enjoy your weekend!

Feeling loopy...

As sad as it may read, nothing much has been happening here. Things are moving slowly. My mother’s beau is slipping away surely. It’s a question of days, but I would think more like hours. The drugs are doing their job, and he’s slowly disconnecting. I can only hope for his sake and my mother’s, that he finds peace really soon. If you’re among people who do believe in the power of prayers, please think of him.

I've been playing; actually it's been more like pulling nose hair one by one, a slow and painful experience; at trying to figure out if I should move to PordWress, use our own domain name, and how to go about it. It’s really not obvious.

I almost feel like I’m in some sort of never ending loop, and no matter what I try to do, or how, I get back to this “blah” point and don’t really know which way to go. It’s a really strange feeling. I almost feel pissed off at the world and at the same time, really peaceful. Weird.

It’s almost like the smallest thing could make me laugh or burst into tears. I don’t really feel sad. I don’t know how to express it. I’m happy with my life, I have it good and I’m thankful for that. I have a great husband whom I love dearly, despite me introducing him as “my first husband”. Work is good; actually I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love being at home and to have this freedom, and love it even more that we can manage with me doing so. I have some things to look forward to like our friends from Zurich coming over and staying with us, our upcoming vacations, and yet…

Maybe I’m just in a funk? Or maybe it’s related to Mrs. D. presence? It’s not the weather since it’s been sunny and really hot for the last week. I guess that despite my sugar highs of the last few weeks, life has been affecting me more than I care to admit…

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Image: The Flood

Mish-Mash Thoughts

Gorgeous weather we’ve been having, almost feel like summer is here, finally! Weird to think it’s so bad in Louisiana… I would seriously considered moving somewhere else if I lived there.

My mother’s beau decided to stop all treatments. I did manage to see him on Sunday, talked with him and thanked him for being there for my mother. It felt good to let him know that I appreciated him and what he's done. He's a good man and I’m happy he’s been in our lives for the last nine years. I wanted him to know that. It was important to me.

I don’t get people. Why is it TMI to talk about body functions? It’s one thing we all do, the ONE thing that makes us ALL equal, no matter what our beliefs are, what colour skin we have; we all poop and pee. Why is it bad to say that you look before you flush? We should all do that. It does give us much information; if only we took the time to look at it, whatever “it” may be.

It must be a very strange feeling to know, when you’re fully aware & conscious, that you only have a few days left… I can’t really imagine it.

I’ve been thinking about completely changing my template, and even location for this blog. I need a change, and that’s one I can manage at this point in time.

Happy to think kids will be off the streets, as of tomorrow! Back to school rocks!

We just watched two episodes of "Prison Break"... oooh how I missed Michael... Did I say how much I love September? All these new episodes to watch, like "Bones", "House", etc... Can hardly contain my excitement...
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Image: Mish-Mash