What a day...

Interesting how fast things, even life, can change.  This morning while waking up I thought it was odd Hubby didn't kiss me a third or fourth times, like he often does.  I had this strange feeling when I got up, and hoped nothing bad would happen.  Within thirty minutes of being up, Hubby called me to let me know he had been in a cycling accident: another cyclist cut him off, on the bike path, and they collide.

I made my way to pick him up (not knowing the extend of his injuries), but after seeing him and the look of his knee thought we'd better go to a hospital.  Since he was still on the scene of the accident, with two police officers, I asked them if they could call an ambulance.  One of them asked if I had a cell phone.  I did.  I should call 911 myself.  I couldn't believe my ears. WTF?  One cop then 'reminded' me that earlier, when the ambulance came and took the other cyclist away Hubby had refused treatment.  I was livid by then, and asked if he was allowed to change his mind, and if his knee was that size when they first came.  He answered he was entitled to change his mind.  He then went saying that him calling 911 or me was equivalent, to which I answered "Our tax dollars at work" - he did not like that.  By that point I was helping Hubby put his bike in the car.  I still can't believe how nonchalant those cops were.  Maybe it is the wife in me reacting, but their answer to my request for a second ambulance was out of line, I think.

It was a day spent in the emergency room waiting for triage, to see a nurse, then a doctor, for x-rays, for the doctor again, then x-rays again... The x-rays showed how bad his left ring finger was, so he's schedule to see an orthopedic surgeon next week.  The x-rays of his knee didn't show much, so he'll have to go back once the swelling comes down for a MRI.  According to the clerk we saw, not before eight months! That is how long it takes for an appointment in this province. Ridiculous!

Hubby is furious, to say the least.  The other cyclist pulled a boneheaded move (and might be actually hurt) but since they are both cyclists there was no police report or anything of the sort.  We don't even know the name of the moron cyclist.  According to Hubby, while they were waiting for the first ambulance, he kept saying it was his fault.  It doesn't make up for the damages Hubby occurred today:  he'll most likely will have to change his bike (there's a good thousand dollars right there), he'll be losing a few days of work (being a contractor that comes straight from his pocket) and he got hurt in the process.  Depending what the surgeon will say next week, we might have to cancel our upcoming trip.  If that's the case, it will be an expensive accident and this despite our travel insurance.  Hubby's bike is broken, his right knee is at least two to three times its normal size, the left side of his face is scraped and swelled up and his left ring finger is shattered.

I wish I knew how to help my husband to let go of his anger.  I wish I could make him see how his negative ways are attracting negativity his way.  I understand his anger, I really do, and it is justified, but I also wish he could see how true it is that we reap what we sow.  It's not easy to let go, but it is a choice one has to make at some point, if one wants to be truly happy.  Holding on to anger won't bring anything good.  Granted, one might feel better to vent, but one must also let go.  Seeking revenge won't solve anything.  It might bring you some pleasure to know the other one is suffering, but in the long run there won't be anything else.

I believe anger and grudges eat at you, and can even make you sick.  I do believe the power of the mind.  How can you be happy and at peace, when in fact (deep down) you are mad and in constant turmoils?  I don't want that for my husband.  I want to be able to grow old (er) with him, to laugh daily with and at him, to enjoy our life together.  I don't want to be with an angry man, always upset about something and frustrated at the world.  Life is too short and beautiful to only choose to see the negative in it. I believe the good outweighs the bad, but one has to choose to see it.  That's all I can hope for at this point...