This is so ridiculous! Whenever I think that I'm over it/her, something happens. On Saturday my in-laws celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary... I asked my hubby if he wanted to call them, he refused: "She doesn't deserve it." While doing some errands I told him that it was too bad the situation was what it is, because 45 years of marriage should have been celebrated. He agreed and that was that.
A few moments ago, while hubby and I were Instant Messaging he told/wrote me: "hold on, mother calling". Waited a bit and then wondered if she was calling to give him crap about not "remembering" their anniversary (she hasn't done that in a while, but you knows!).
Turns out she was calling to re-schedule his birthday dinner (from February) that has been re-scheduled a few times already... and being the person that she is, she made "stupid" comments...
She loves to take little jabs at her son (Actually I should say at people in general!) and he takes them. Yes I know, I've thought him the art of kumite* for a few years, but still...
She asked him if he was going to his cousin's baby baptism, to which he naturally answered that he wasn't going to do the "church thing", but would go to the restaurant after. She had to say something about that too, of course!
Just the thought of her makes me... aarrrggh!
I keep reminding myself that she's in my life as a teacher, that I should be grateful for what I'm learning, but man! at times... How can one person be so... so... harmful?! I think it is so sad that after all these years she still continues to behave in such a toxic way. She's not only poisoining my life, but her son's, her husband's, her siblings' and even her own life. Sick!I hate it when we visit family and the in-laws are there, and the hosts appologize to me for having invited her. She family, she's their aunt they should invite her... but it's gotten to a point that relatives are even feeling ackward about it, and that isn't right.
I don't know why I got so flustered about her phone call today, but I hate the effect she still has on me. I'm working so hard at "letting go", but my last exposures to her haven't been that pleasant, so it doesn't make it easy. I'm afraid to crack... to let it all out... to really give her a piece of my mind... but it would be like screaming in the wind; not the most effecient way to be heard...
It's not an easy situation. It's been draggin' on way too long... I want out so bad, it hurts!
* Kumite means fight in Japanese (karate)
5 comments:
Uggh. I've had issues with my mother-in-law, but nothing like this. I think you're smart to continue to see her as a "teacher" (of what NOT to do). Bonne chance!
You have no idea the effort I've put in to make this work, the attempts to at least be respectful of each other, but she always refuses... It's hard, it's really hard, because she's a part of our lives, so I have to keep remimding myself that there's a lesson in there (somewhere!) for me to learn from... not obvious...let me tell you!
She's quite something.
I don't exactly fit into a "normal" category (whatever that means) and I've always felt that this woman judges/disapproves of me.
Imagine, and I'm not the one sleeping with her son!
Just the thought of it makes me laugh... You showing up with her son... hi! hi! hi!
If you're not crafty, fluffy, effiminated like her, than you don't fit into her "category"... She thanked a cousin's wife for talking and socializing with us, can you imagine!? Granted I'm not the most feminine one around, but to thank people as if they're doing us a favor, that's pushing it! And what really pisses me of is that I frigin' tried to talk fluff with her - I faked interest and even asked questions about her knitting, painting, crochet, etc. One crazy woman, I tell you! Breath, just breath...
I am crafty, fluffy and effeminated... That's the problem (for her, not me...) ;-D
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