Friday, January 31, 2020

Un mois déjà fini...

...comme le temps passe vite lorsqu'on s'amuse, ou lorsqu'on réalise son effet sur notre quotidien.  Peu importe la raison, nous sommes à quelques heures de fermer janvier, ce premier mois de l'an 2020. 

Déjà cette nouvelle année se veut quelque peu difficile, elle nous enlève de notre monde, ces gens qui font partis de notre quotidien, de près ou de loin.  Il y a environs deux semaines, je recevais un courriel d'une copine nous informant de l'état de santé de sa mère.  En lisant son message je n'ai pu faire autrement que de réaliser, une fois de plus, que malgré tout nos efforts, nos jours sont comptés et surtout que la vie ou la mort n'épargne personne.  Mercredi soir j'écrivais à ma copine, j'ai essayé de l'encourager tout en étant réaliste car après tout sa mère allait avoir 92 ans la semaine prochaine.  Quelques minutes après lui avoir envoyé mon courriel, mon téléphone sonnait.  Sa mère était décédée.  Malgré toutes les préparations qu'on puisse faire, la nouvelle frappe.  J'avoue que d'entendre mon amie parler de sa mère, d'entendre les larmes et la douleur dans sa voix m'ont touchées.  Cette  dame toujours bien mise, acceuillante, une force silencieuse, une présence, malgré sa petite stature n'est plus.  Ce départ laissera un grand vide.  J'ose à peine imaginer celui pour ses deux enfants...

Dans un élan de tendresse (ou de folie) j'ai donné un coup de téléphone à ma mère en Floride.  Je ne lui avait pas parlé depuis le Nouvel An.  Non, nous ne sommes pas très proche, et pourtant elle vous dira que nous le sommes... Nous n'avons pas la même définition, mais bon.  Par moment je rage, et par moment je m'en fout complètement.  Je n'ai jamais été très près d'elle; comme toute bonne fille j'étais la fille de mon père (pas seulement pour son sale caractère, mais parce qu'il voulait une fille, alors que ma mère m'a toujours dit combien elle aurait aimée avoir un garçon).  Elle n'a pas eu cette chance, puisque j'étais enfant unique. 

Je viens de regarder les détails d'appels sur mon cell. le 1er janvier nous nous sommes parlés 1 minute 49 secondes et il y a deux jours 4 minutes 30 secondes.  Nous ne sommes pas trop jaseuses on dirait et pourtant, lorsque j'ai parlé à ma copine l'appel a duré plus de 30 minutes...  C'est dingue quand t'as quelques choses à raconter ou que tu ne parles pas seulement de la température...  Enfin bref.  Je sais que ma mère vieillit, que le jour de son décès je serai peinée, et malgré tout je ne peux faire semblant et dire qu'elle me manque c'est comme si je me suis déjà résignée... étrange et pourtant oh combien libérateur.

This afternoon I realized that my computer and cell weren't syncing as they should and that brought on some insecurities that I would forget things, important dates and such, things I did not use to worry about and now I do.  Not only am I relying on technology too much - I feel I should almost go back to my paper agenda - but I also know that I can NOT rely on my memory faculties as I once did, and I'm not that old yet. Fuck!  This is bad!

Two weeks ago a friend turned the big 5-0 (yeah, yeah, our friends are younger than us, sue us!) and we got to see some people we don't often.  As I was chatting with an ex client who lost a fair amount of weight, I did ask him about it, what he'd done.  He told me about this Intermittent Fasting thing he did for a while and lost over 40 pounds.  I had heard about someone else who did that and had managed to lose a fair amount of weight, so I've looked it up.  It seems fairly 'easy' especially since I'm not a breakfast person to start with and have weird sleep patterns.  I'm leaning towards:

The 16/8 method: Also called the Leangains protocol, it involves skipping breakfast and restricting your daily eating period to 8 hours, such as 1–9 p.m. Then you fast for 16 hours in between.

Actually, I nonchalantly started it, i.e. I stopped eating after 10 pm (because on Tuesday and Friday night I have my meditation class and will eat after it, since I don't want to sleep during class), and within a week I did lose some weight!  Imagine how it would be if I actually did some sport?  ah!  Dream on my friend!

Oh, yeah, also meant to share that we will be traveling back to the beautiful island of Hawaii!  We will be there to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary and our Best man and Matron of Honor will be coming too!  In seven little months!  We're already done with this month, so...

Friday, January 17, 2020

Looking up it seems...

You'll be happy to know that I did have an infection in my eyes, and after taking some prescribed antibiotics my eyes are back to normal (I think!), within a few hours of the first application of that little cream, the redness diminished and the puffiness went away!  Seeing the eye doctor again tomorrow for a follow up and all should be kosher!

Last Saturday, while sitting in the waiting area of the eye doctor, the owner of the store where they sell you the frames for the glasses, walked by me and after looking at me said: "Are you here for an eye exam?" To which I answered: "Nah, a gynecologist appointment!"  Really, sitting in a waiting room between an eye doctor's office and a store selling glasses?  He did explained that he was wondering if I was there for more since my eyes looked bad.  I swear the question some people will ask at times, and I'm told I'm the one who often says or asks stupid things!
After the 'emergency', I also had my sight checked and needed to change my glasses/prescription, my sight lowered.  I knew it since I've been noticing it's not as clear at it was, so, a few hundred dollars later, I should see the difference tomorrow.  Hopefully I won't be having a bitch of a time adjusting to this new prescription.  It's always been a pain this far, every time I've had new glasses.

Early December, I had a phone interview with a journalist from La Presse who was writing an article about correspondence.  We talked for a while and she had sent a photographer to take a few shots.  This morning the article came out, check it out!  La lettre n'est pas morte - the article is in French, but Google Translate did an ok job (English Translation).  I totally love that picture of me writing a postcard. 
Fun fact: the card I'm writing on this picture is  actually a card I've designed for a friend, from a picture taken by her cousin that she wanted to make into a postcard, that she wanted me to write and send to her. 

Some people, like me, want to receive cards addressed to us rather than a blank one, so we (among ourselves of Postcrossing members/friends) will pre-addressed and stamped a card we would love to get in our collection and send it (in an env.) to a someone, who will write something and return it to us, as a postcard, i.e. without env.  When we do get it back, it shows that it has traveled since most cards get a few scuffs along the way, it's part of the charm for many of us.  Some people will prefer to get blank cards, without any marking or even writing, I guess they collect the images more.  Many people do think that writing a card is way more personal than sending out an email or doing a post on Instagram or whatever else kids used these days.  I just know that I've always loved to correspond and even if through Postcrossing it is only a one time thing, I did, anyway, managed to meet some pretty nice people all because of postcards and sharing that hobby.

Wednesday, January 08, 2020

Already in Week 2

Most of my Christmas decorations are down... still have a few things here and there and in all honesty I don't know where I should be storing them, getting new stuff wasn't a good idea when it comes to putting it away afterwards!

In other news my eyes are still bad.
I've made an appointment with an eye doctor, maybe he'll figure something out that will actually help...  Everyone I told I was allergic to winter, looked at me funny, but whenever (which is basically daily for the past week!) I take an antihistamine, the itchiness goes away (at least that helps!), but the red streaks and puffy bags are still there, no matter the cream I use.  Some seem to help more than others, but so very little... makes for interesting questions and looks, that's for sure!

It is our condo association's year end, and since I'm the one taking care of the books I've called a mini meeting for the three administrators we are.  There isn't really much that needs to take care of, except when something breaks, like the gutter and now preparing the budget for this coming year.  Our lovely government wants to pass a new Bill - Bill 141 - which is for co-owners to also have a Self Insurance Funds which will cover our highest deductible on the Condo's Insurance.   Going through our insurance policy, for water damages our deductible is 25K!!  Yep, you read correctly, we are insured but our deductible is $25,000 - I've been reading up on this, and we basically have two years to accumulate this new Funds... I can't wait to explain this to our co-owners who complain about the condo fees being high already... should be fun!

This time of year sucks all my energy and will to do anything.

Yep, that about sums it up!

Thursday, January 02, 2020

Day 2

Couldn't fall asleep (for a change) so I colored on my tablet, in bed...

2020 will be the Year of the Rat in the Chinese Horoscope:

and this little frog...
I met up with a friend - actually we met a year ago at one of my Postal Bites monthly meet and we clicked and became fast friend, funny how that worked - for lunch and we went shopping at Michaels, since I had received a gift card at Christmas, we had a reason to go.  Managed to spend the gift card and then some!  But come on, look at this cute washi tape I found, how could I resist?

We rarely see dogs on tapes, so I HAD to get it!  Unless you do postcards, you wouldn't understand!  Trust me, it was a must, really!

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

Let's Try This Again

I've been toying with the idea of doing a daily log type thingy, but doing it like a craft journal, but then again, since I spent so much time in front of this screen maybe I should try it here instead...

Day one of 2020 is almost over, it was a quiet one.  Spent most of it either sleeping, eating and watching TV (watching the series "American Gods" (on Season 2) and started "The Crown" Season 3).  While dinner was heating up, Hubby and I walked to cousin's place to feed his kids' rodents.  They have three of these. 

One of them, the male bit me, little fucker.  Must have smelled like the celery I was cutting up for him.  Their squeaking sounds are funny.  Would I want one? Nope, not at all!

On our way out, we were kind enough to clear their walkway of snow - yeah, we are that good to them (cousin that is, not the rodents!).

Going for a haircut on Saturday morning, can't wait, I'm feeling like a freaking hippy from the seventies almost or maybe Ryan Eggold...  He's cute though.

Plus with my eyes, constantly running, as if  I'm constantly crying, which I am as soon as I go out, or feel any temperature changes; according to my quack, I'm allergic to winter!  W.T.F.?  I was born in freaking Chibougamau!

The past few weeks, it had gotten really bad, I kid you not!  I was not feeling very social looking like I've been crying acid tears or something like.  I've never had puffy eyes, but now I do, and big puffs too!  Goes with the rest I'd say.  The cream the quack gave me didn't do fuck all except burn like a bitch.  I'm trying/tried different things, from cold and hot compresses, changing creams, going for something greasy, used some vitamin E both cream and serum like shit...
Look at me! This is NOT a fucking joke, I look bad (badder than usual that is!).  During the past week, I tried my best to cover it up with make up when meeting up with friends, good thing was, we weren't that social, so I could stay home and looked like I'd been crying about the way I looked.  My eyes were itchy at times too, so I've started popping some allergies pills, seems to help with the itchy part, at least.

I swear, at times, life is so much damn fun, always something really fucking pleasant coming along a flipping you a nice big bird.  Makes it all worth it!  Yep, there is a real need for a sarcastic font!

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Let's make this leap... again.

Ce soir j'écris en français ou plutôt bilingue... my brain feels like it.  Pouvez-vous croire que nous sommes déjà rendus à la fin d'une décennie, non seulement dans quelques jours nous allons changer le 9 pour un 0 mais aussi le 1 pour un 2, c'est fou!  Je me souviens encore de l'effervescence, du Bug de l'An 2000, pas juste parce qu'avec un geek, ou parce que j'avais décidé de le demander en mariage, mais bien parce qu'on craignait ce que l'an 2000 allait nous réserver.  Vingt ans plus tard, je dirais vraiment pas grand chose, mais bon... On est loin des autos volantes, mais pas tellement des villes sous les dômes.  Le monde a changé, et malheureusement pas (vraiment) pour le mieux.

Granted, côté technologie il y a eu de l'avancement.  Si on regarde nos simples cells, petits et plus puissants que les gros ordinateurs qui remplissaient une pièce complète à un certain moment donné.  Ne serait-ce que la caméra de notre cellullaire qui est souvent plus performante que bien des grosses caméras qui en plus pesaient une tonne avec tout plein d'équipement. Les temps changent.  Greta peut bien retourner chez elle, ce n'est pas le fait de marcher qui changera l'attitude des gens.

En ce temps-ci de l'année j'en profite toujours pour faire une introspection, je regarde l'année qui s'achève et repense aux moments passés: lost a dear friend last January, suddenly, which always makes it harder.  Ai repris un ancient client pour ses livres en mars. Looking back at my calendar there wasn't much going on, attended a few meetups, still doing Postcrossing, catching up with some friends and relatives, la petite routine quoi.  Le petit train-train quotidien, qui devient vite le train-train hebdomadaire, etc.  Petit train va loin comme on dit souvent, ou dumoins on l'espère.

I've also re-read last year's post (you can read it here, if you'd like), and despite some efforts on my parts, to remain low key (as in below the radar), to try to play nice and all that, I'm still hurt (yeah, hurt I guess is the right word for how it feels) when I hear about someone not being comfortable talking to me (for no apparent reason, since we've never really spoken) because "you know..."... I don't know, please do tell.  I haven't reach that venerable age (yet!) where I really don't give a fuck about what people think about me, I'm trying to let go and not care, and yet, there is that part of me which needs to know what the fuck did I do to this person for them to not like me...  I know (I fully understand it) I should not care, and yet, there is that part of me that is being tickled by it all.

Mon objectif pour la prochaine année: ne plus m'en faire avec l'opinion (positive ou négative) des gens.  J'essaie d'être une bonne personne, j'aide lorsque que je peux, je contribue à la société (en plus de payer mes taxes et impôts, oui! oui!).  I'm rough around the edges (actually I'm quite round, so there shouldn't be any hard edges, just sayin' ), I call a spade a spade, I'm honest, I try not to lie, and I'm very loyal.  Granted I have no patience for stupidity, so if people fear me because of that, then maybe, just maybe the problem is not me.  I don't want that type of people in my environment.

I MUST remember this:

Sur ce, je vous laisse et vous souhaite une nouvelle année remplie de santé, bonheur et amour!

Wishing you a healthy, happy and lots of love for this New Year ahead.

All the best!

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Living my life and (trying) to forget my age!

My need to vent quite high, so here goes:

On November 1st, we had really strong winds, so strong they actually ripped the gutter covering the thermo pumps tubing making it to the top floors of our building.  Since that day, I've been trying to reach a contractor, in either gutters and/or roofing to get someone over to fix it.  To no avail.

I'm actually being ghosted by some!  They tell me: I'll be there tomorrow after 3pm, and don't show.  I've called a LOT of them, some simply refused to even come to look at the situation, saying they are too busy.  Some I've contacted have an emergency number, but that's not "serious" enough to come.  Others offered to send an estimator for the cost of replacing our gutters.  Name it, in the past few weeks, I've heard it all!  It is utterly ridiculous that contractors do not give a rat's ass and, and as Hubby often says "don't want our business".

Last night it was quite windy again, and the noise this dangling thing was making was quite nasty... almost as bad as nails on a chalkboard, it was bad, and it was windy.  I could ear it in our unit, I can only imagine the people living on that side.  This morning I decided to try another avenue, as suggested by a friend; maybe the firemen could help.  I didn't want to call 911 as it is not really an emergency as such, so I called 411 to get a phone number of a local fire station. The first respondent was kind enough and transferred my call to  Montréal Service (not quite sure where he transferred me to).  As I started telling the reason for my call to the lady, I very quickly realized she had no idea what I was talking about.

Me:  Hi, I'm calling to see if you could maybe direct me to a service or something as one of our gutter on the side of the house got undone and I'm afraid it will cause some damages...

Phone Help:  I see.  Is this inside or outside?

Me: ...

Phone Help: Madam, is this thing inside or outside and it this a commercial or residential building?

Me:  It's a gutter like a metal cover on the side of the building.

Phone Help: So, this is outside?

Me: You don't know what a gutter is?  Really?  It's that thing that collects rain along the roof of houses...

Phone Help: So, it is outside.  And if this is for a commercial building you're not calling the right place.

Me:  Yeah, I got that, thank you.  I'll figure it out.  Thanks anyway.

I hung up feeling almost dizzy.  This was like an episode of Outer Limits!

I'm happy I did not rip her a new one.  So after a few deep breaths, I called 911.  I explained the issue and mentioned the exposed wires, etc. and how I didn't want it to get worst and if maybe the firemen could do something.  I was transferred to the fire department, explained the situation once more, and was told they would come by to see the situation.  Within minutes I heard the sirens and saw the firetruck.  They looked at it, one fireman told me they were best at breaking things and unfortunately couldn't really do anything.  I did apologize for making them come over, and they were quite gracious about it and understood my concerns so they put up some yellow tape blocking the passage way near it, and left.

I'm hoping that on Monday at least one of the many contractors I've left messages with will call me back.

I've been single for the past fifteen days, and let's be honest, I'm enjoying it.  You see Hubby is a walking, breathing noise maker!  I kid you not, between his coughs, sneezing fits, his efforts to move his phlegm (ah! I've used that word!!) or whatever else he has stuck in the back of his throat, his burps and farts, and let's not forget his cracking ankles and knees, the man makes noise, lots of noise.  The house has been so freaking quiet, it's unreal.  The only thing I hear (besides the gutter clapping on the bricks outside) is the low hums of the computers.  I do miss his companionship, but his noises, not at all.  I enjoy being alone, and even when he's home, we both like our time apart.  I guess the only child we were is still there and remained comfy with being alone, in some ways.  Both of us find that the evenings and weekends have been boring.  We're used to each other's company.  We've been together for almost twenty-six years now (in January) and never really been apart except for ten days or so.  Do I miss his sweaty ass in bed?  Not really.  Do I miss him preparing dinner?  I do.  Yesterday I washed the toilets and I think it was the first time since we moved here over three years ago; he's been doing them.  He also generates a lot more laundry.  He could be called Sir Changealot.  Don't get me wrong, I love the man, and I'm very thankful he's in my life, but this little break will be doing us some good, I think.  We will appreciate it (or not at all, time will tell!) when we'll get back together in a few more weeks.

Today, I'm celebrating my fifty-third birthday.  Yep, I'm an old broad.  And yes this fact explains some of the crankiness.  At some point yesterday I've realized that it would be my very first time celebrating my birthday alone.  Without Hubby (for sure) and my mom (she's now a Snowbird and is now in FL.)  It dawned on me while at the hair salon where my hairdresser, who's also an old friend (we met when we were about 12 years old), brought out a birthday cake and had a salon full of people signing happy birthday, that I was going to be alone on my actual birthday...  It felt weird.  I know it is a day just like any others, and I don't care about it as much as I used to when I was younger.  Aging isn't all that fun really.  Our body changes, not always for the better; our mind changes too, also often not for the better, our vision goes down, our waist thickens, our memory slowly goes, we discover new pains on a regular basis, but the one good thing (for me at least!) is the fact that there is more and more shit that I do not give a crap about.  A lot of the things and people I cared about are gone.  Some I let go of, some let go of me, and some life took care of...

I will say/write this though, despite not being with Hubby today I'm lucky enough (blessed really!) to have good friends. I might be home alone, but between real life and social medias,  I know I'm not all alone...  Had a delicious dinner with a couple of friends last night, will be having a good time tonight too with other friends, and I'm pretty sure I'll be getting some phone calls and messages. I have a box waiting for me to be open from Hubby which I received a few days ago and four env. from Europe and two from Canada to be open on this day, so I know what I'll be doing when I get up later...  Speaking of which, I should hit the sack now, I'm not getting any younger and need all the sleep (and beauty rest) I can get.

See you around!  Thanks for reading!