Hair, Sneeze and Scares

It's been two weeks since I buzzed my hair off, and I must say I'm liking how easy it is to wash and dry.

It is still surprising me every time I catch my reflection passing by a mirror...  but I'm getting used to seeing myself.  I like it.

When I cut my hair I had sent a picture and a small lock of hair to my mother, as a joke, to show her what I've done - she's technology challenged - when she got my note with the picture she called me laughing.  Seems like no matter how old I am I still do stupid things, according to her.  I guess she did not like it.  I didn't ask.

I love the way it feels, even if I was actually surprised last week at how much insulation hair provides.  Never really realized that before, or really thought of it.  Now I know!  Hubby thought it was really funny when I experienced it.  Now I understand why he wears a tuque in fall, winter, spring.  It does get cold!

One thing I find funny is that even at this length I get up with pillow hair, weird huh?  There's always a spot or two that bend or went crooked, it's weird, as I notice it even more than I did with longer hair. 

Also, we (Hubby confirmed my suspicion) noticed that since I've cut it, my hair seemed to have gone whiter!  Maybe it is the shock of it all?  I'm definitely salt and pepper, with still plenty of pepper in my shaker though...

Self-isolation is going well.  Granted there are some days tougher than others, but over all, I'm good.  I like being home, and that hasn't changed.  I'm not really bored, there is always something to do.  I haven't been overeating, that has stayed the same.  The real big change really is having Hubby home all the time, working in the same office, but other than that, it is pretty much life as usual. 

This season my allergies are bad.  Once this pandemic is over and we can get back to some type of normalcy I will need to find myself an allergist and get some tests, because my eyes are leaking a lot, daily as well as my nose.  I've been popping pills, which helps, but still would like to know what the heck I'm reacting to, since I don't really know.  Some days my eyes are so bad.  It's not pretty.

Saturday I heard the funniest thing since this pandemic started.
  

Hubby was in the living room, and I was reading in bed in our bedroom.  Both rooms had windows opened. At some point Hubby sneezed. Loud. Like he often does. (His nose is also messed up).  I heard a kid outside, say: "A Sneeze!  Aaaahhh!  Run!"  The reaction and the way it was said made me cracked up out loud.  Imagine, we've now conditioned the kids to run from a sneeze!  It is a good thing, but at the same time it is a scary thought.  Anyway, Hubby's sneezes and the way he blows his nose are scary no matter if we're in a pandemic mode or not, 'just saying!

Speaking of scary, not sure what and why these things are happening, but it is scary to think of shooters like in Nova Scotia.  Sad times for sure.

Hang in there people, keep busy and do stay safe.

Argh! Turkey. Elections. Did I say Argh?

I can't believe we are already in October; that today is our (as in, us, Canadians) Thanksgiving. 

I don't know about you, or if it is a French vs English thing, but Thanksgiving was never a big thing for us.  It was basically a day off.  We didn't do the turkey (that is a Christmas thing for me), we didn't give thanks, and we didn't even really get together as such...  It was more like the last day off before the Christmas break.  Since I've been exposed more to the English side of things, I've come to realize that more people might celebrate that day.  Nothing like our neighbors the Americans though., but still.

I will give thanks for what I've got.  I'm thankful for my health in general, for my good husband, for the family I chose, i.e. my friends.  I have a good life and for that I am thankful, and not just today but most days of the year.  I write most because I know some days I do forget...

This time of year my favorite "holiday" would be Halloween.  That I celebrate!  As I kid I used to dress up and go trick or tricking.  I just loved it.  I remember wearing my snow suit under my costume because it was so cold, or wearing a big garbage bag over my costume because it was raining.  The joy of living here, you never know the type of night you'll get.  All my goodies for the little monsters are ready.  I started assembling my little bags and realized that I had done them all.  I have one hundred and twenty of them, and I'm hoping it will be enough.  As long as the weather is cooperating, it should be good.

Things have happened here and there, and at times I feel like I should be a fucking recluse, with no neighbor, no screeching kids, no hyper sensitive people, no relatives, just myself. And maybe Hubby (depending on the day, ah!)

I've been trying to get things together for Canada Posts to issue an official Postcrossing stamp.  I've asked Canadian members to help me in this.  The response rate is low.  Oh, I guess I should be happy that some did answer my request, because after all, we are Canadians - we are great at asking for things, but when comes time to actually do something or to get involve we go roach (as in we disappear as soon as the light in on us).  We're are great for wanting, but to actually act, that is a whole other story.  And when you are one (of the rares) who do actually do something, you are judge for being a shit disturber or someone who's disturbing and even a bully because you are pressuring people to do something.  No matter what you are fucked.  Damned if you do and damned of you don't.

We've had Provincial elections, and for the first time in a long time, people actually elected a majority government that wasn't Liberal or Québécois, a first since 1966! Oh, by the way, if there is anybody from any of the political parties, the elections are now over, so please do remove all those big card boards.  We've seen them all, please take them down.  Last elections I had to send an actual email to a party to ask them to actually stop littering the neighborhood with their signs. As I was reading a news feed earlier I came across an article stating that the 'new' government was racist, because the Premier didn't want any religious signs (that old debate, again), and the Muslims, etc. were up arguing about it all.  Why are we supposed to remove any religious signs (as in crosses) from City Halls, Parliament, schools, etc. even if we are (mostly) a Christian nation and yet it would be allowed for women to wear a hijab or men/kids to wear a kirpan?  I don't get this not good for one, and yet the others do it.  If we are a lay-society,  then everybody is the same and shows nothing... but then that would be too easy.

We live in one crazy world that is for damn sure!

Six More Dodos...

Christmas is among my favorite time of the year, but it is not for everyone... plus, as we are getting older it is not the same.  My mother is now a snowbird, and she doesn't come back just for me.  Hubby's father is... well... we don't see much of him.  Hubby often offered to escape at Christmas time.  We did it once, to Napa, and it was nice.  It didn't feel like it was Christmas, but the time away sure felt good.  This year we had not, yet, really taken any vacation.  I did go spend a two days at a cousin in Québec City, but other than that, we we pretty much home bodies.  Hubby worked a lot. We had talked about going to Europe, visit with friends back in August, but the scheduling wasn't working out and the funds were low, so that didn't work out.  When we talked about escaping at Christmas we did think of Europe - I would love to visit the Christmas markets in Germany or Poland, but then it would NOT be a relaxing vacation for Hubby since there would be places to see and lots to do.  Given that he's the main bread winner in this household, he needs (and wants!) to relax some.  So, rather than going someplace where we would feel guilty about crashing and doing nothing, we thought why not go some place we know.  We won't feel the need to visit or the guilt of crashing. Plus I wanted some warmth.  When we started talking about it, it was for the week of Christmas leading to New Year's.  We thought of using this damn timeshare of ours, we pay for it so might as well try to use the damn thing, so Hubby started to explore different options.

In mid-August (one hundred twenty-seven days exactly from our departure date), Hubby booked us a Christmas escape, just the two of us. We are heading back to Hawai'i... again.  A part of me feels like the luckiest girl and another part feels like the old broad who hates to travel.  The twelve freaking hours in transit are not exciting me, but, come on!  It is Hawai'i after all!

We dug out our snorkel gear and went to a dive shop.  Man we care good consumers!  Let's leave it at that!  While on the Big Island, I would love to go snorkeling daily.  I will admit, I'm not the most confident swimmer, and the thought of those big winter waves is somewhat worrisome,  especially when our local friend texted us to let us know they had to close a surfing competition on the North Shore (of Oahu) because the waves were too big... nothing to warm my insides, let's say.  But I do love to see marine life, and being in the  water, so hopefully we will manage to get some days in the blue waters of the Big Island.

This year, again, I kept up my tradition of sending (a lot!) of Christmas cards, both folded and postcards. To my pleasure, I've been getting some back.

One the first weekend of December, this is how it started:

Then, the following weekend, I had a little more...

And then, this weekend, it showed that a nice load came in... I manage to almost fill out my first door. Check it out:

I'm hoping to get a bunch more this week, before we leave, I just love it!  Last night we had friends over and the man thought those were cards accumulated over the years... come on!  These are all cards received for this year's Christmas!

Remember a few years back I used to adopt a family in need at Christmas?  That was such a thrill and emotional thing.  I loved to do it.  When a friend of mine mentioned that she was going to be an elf  for a kid this Christmas, I jump on that bandwagon, I wanted in too.  I got assigned a little eight years old boy, who wrote me a letter telling me what he wanted, etc.  I had to buy him a gift, and write him back.  I wrote him a cute letter, as an elf, wrapped my gift and dropped it off at the assigned location.  I've been following the evolution of the project, organised by a teacher in a poor income area of town, and it is so touching and fun to see everyone's excitement.  Looking forward to seeing the kids'.  Hopefully she will post about it too, even if she's trying hard to keep the kids identities under wrap.

Tomorrow, since we will be missing the family gathering with Hubby's cousin at either Christmas or New Year, I thought of taking the kids (the three of them) shopping for their gifts.  They chose the stores they want to go to, so I will pick them up, drive them there, let them choose (in our set budget, of course!) and pay for it all.  The only thing I'm not certain of right this moment, is if I'm going to be nice or naughty... Nice if I let them take their gifts home with them, or naughty and take the gifts away and ask the parents to give it to them on Christmas... hmmm... decisions, decisions...

International Day of Happiness!

Today is so many things to celebrate.  Who knew March 20th was such a busy day!

1. First Day of Spring
2. International Day of Happiness
3. Alien Abduction Day
4. Atheist Pride Day
5. Bibliomania Day
6. Franch Language Day
7. National Native HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
8. World Sparrow Day
9. National Bock Beer Day
10. National Jump Out! Day
11. National Kiss Your Fiancé Day
12. Won't You Be My Neighbor Day

Those are the events being celebrated on March 20th, there are more for today being the First day of Spring or today being the third Monday of the month of March, unreal how we need to mark things.  Anyway, today being the first day of Spring, I thought I'd show you what Spring looks like in Pleasantville...

View from home office, March 20th, 2017 @ 1 pm

Nice and Springy, isn't it?  Today being the International Day of Happiness, that view doesn't convey that for me at all!  Quite the contrary.  I'm done with snow, I'm done with winter really!

I hurt myself thirteen days ago, in the back yard which at the time was all grass and ice.  I was touring the property with engineers and a representative of the builder as I slipped on the grass/ice.  I fell hard, and since I have a really hard time sitting down or getting up.  I've seen my osteo twice thus far, and according to her it was a good thing I fell on the grass rather than the cement, but still did some damages to by lower back.  2017 really sucks this far health wise for me, but I'm keeping at it, slowly and on pain killers but still not giving up.

Let me tell you about what brings me happiness these days, in no particular order:

• my lovely husband, who takes care of me and makes me laugh daily
• where we live, I like this place, our home...
• being able to be home...
• writing
• my postcards
• our friends
• getting closer to cousin's kidlets
• reading
• creating (postcards, scrapbooking)

So, you see overall every day  is a good day to celebrate!

"Let's take back the peace we're owed" - Farhad Manjoo

This guy expressed a sentiment in this article that I don't really share (as far as dogs are concerned), but unlike him (at the end of his article) I do think his rant applies to children. 

I'm sure he got lots of comment about it. Who in this world would say something negative about dogs (or pets in general) and not be criticize?  I will say this, this guy has gutts.

While I was reading his piece, I couldn't help to think he had a valid point, and this despite being an animal lover.  We, as a society, have given animals way too much room and are treating them as we would humans.  It's as if we're compensating for something.  We, Canadian (at least in Montreal), are not too crazy yet with our pets.  I do see some people with their pooch in the car, some in bags/purses or once in a while I'll see someone with a pooch at the grocery store, I'm fine with it as long as the pooch is on a leach.  Wish I could say the same about kids.  (I know, I'm cruising for a bruising here).

In his article he mentioned something about people bringing their pet to work.  In all my years in different offices, I will say that I haven't seen any pet brought to the office.  But, I've seen my share of little runts running around, because the sitter was sick, or the kid was sick and the parent had to work, or because the daycare was closed, or the kid had no school.  Not all kids will, after sniffing you (like a dog would) lay down and nap.  A few years back, when on a contract to replace a receptionist, the CEO who had recently given birth brought her baby to work, because she had to attend a closed-door meeting.  She left the sleeping baby in her office and went to the conference room.  The reception area was right next to her office.  At some point the baby woke up and started crying (naturally!).  The phone at that office was always busy.  While the baby was wailing, and I was trying to understand the caller I had on the line, who was wondering what was going on, the mother was not "hearing" her baby's cries.  After my call, I went to knock on the conference room door and asked her to please attend to her crying baby.  She didn't like that.

After she was done feeding the baby she called me into her office.  She wasn't happy with me interrupting her meeting.  She made a point to tell me that she had heard the baby, and would have come (eventually).  I told her that  if I'd wished to hear babies' crying I would have look for a job in a daycare. I've never heard anything back after that, and worked there for quite a few years. Whenever she brought one of her kids in, it was always for a short visit. 

I guess that we haven't reached the same level of animal love as our American neighbors.  I will say this, in both cases (pets and kids) it is not the little ones who are to be blamed but the humans who are not controlling them.  When I see a kids running around tables at a restaurant I feel like smacking the parent.  The kid only does what he's being allowed to do and then some.  How come we've never done that when we were kids?  Were we controlled that much or were we simply educated?  Hmmm...  If you ever watched an episode of Cesar's Dog Whisperer more often than not, he has to train the human more than the pooch!  Funny how that is.

I, too, believe it is time for all to claim back "peace and quiet".  We all deserve that much. 

Call me nosey but if the World is about to end I want to know!

Yesterday while getting my hair colored, I couldn't help myself eavesdropping the conversation the young girl (early twenty, if that) sitting a few stations over, was having with her hairdresser.  They started very casually, just like us old people do, by talking about the weather.  Luckily for us, despite Sandy's visit, we weren't really affected by it all, unlike our neighbors in Jersey and NY.  We had some rain and yes it was windy.   The hairdresser (also in her early twenties) was away in Cuba the week before (yeah, we do go to Cuba often, it's cheap for us) and caught the beginning of the storm.  They talked about the resort, traveling alone, etc.  I was also reading a book so I zoned in and out as time ticked off my timer.  At some point, the client started talking about how Mother Nature was reacting to everything we've done to it and Mother Earth and how it was all about the magnetic pull of the Earth, how the core was affected and how science wasn't truly able to explain it all, but that Mayans knew.  They did predict "the end" by December 2012. 

I was trying not to giggle.  She really sounded knowledgeable (wonder what she has read to know this much about that subject), and very assertive in her descriptions and facts.  In a way, it was nice to hear someone who believed in something - I have no idea what - and who was willing to share her knowledge.  I'm not saying she was wrong (or right, for that matter).  I was surprised.  And somewhat amused.

A part of me always feels something (I can't really describe it, since it balances between sympathy, derision, cries and laughter) whenever I hear talks about the end of the world.  Something is happening.  One would have to be pretty deep under ground not to see that the world is changing.  Is it coming to an end?  I don't know.  I do feel it is not going in the best direction, wherever it is heading.  Nature is reacting a lot lately.  I don't remember so many natural catastrophes occurring in the past.  There were some, they even mention one in the Bible, with Noah's. There always had been some, but this many, I don't recall.   Does that mean the world is coming to an end?  I don't know.  We talk about Global Warming.  I do think it is a fact.  It is happening.  We don't have much snow anymore, not like we used to.  We still have too much, if you ask me, but that's another subject.

Is it all due to us being more aware of things because of all the social medias, news, etc.?  I wonder at times.  Even if one tries to avoid the news (and trust me, this one does), at some point, some place, one hears the news.  We are being informed despite us.  What I wonder about is how accurate is the information we're being fed? That I would love to know!

Don't Be Cruel...

At times things will happen and one can't help but wonder, how can we, as people, do something like this? I've been wondering this about many things. Man in one cruel creature.

We all have heard how horrible war is, how man will act under duress, how our true nature will come out. I guess I do understand someone defending its life. I never understood (and probably never will, either) why someone has this need to take it out on someone weaker than him/her. When I think of the horrors of civil wars, of people turning on each other because of "power" and such, it makes my stomach turn. I also don't understand why someone would be mean to animals. I'm not talking about being faced by a lion in a jungle and killing it (and that happens on a regular basis to many of us, anyway!), no, I'm talking about animal cruelty in general. We all heard horror stories about puppy mills, and those kennels where they train fighting dogs, or animal neglect. It's common.

Not everybody is an animal lover, I get that. Just like not everyone is a kid lover. Not wanting an animal as a pet is one thing, but being cruel to an animal is another one completely. Pets are, in my book, the purest form of unconditional love one can get, and that  is priceless. They don't care if you are fat, have tattoos, no job, lots of money or whatever else. You show them some care, attention, feed them, and they will be your friend.

Last week I saw a newscast about this place/pound called "Berger Blanc", and how badly they are treating animals. To say the least, it made me mad. They have a mandate with our city for animal control. Strays or animals people want to get rid of are brought there to either be adopted or put down. Supposedly, when a pet is lost, one could get it back from that place. Not only do they not help reunite lost pets with their owners, but they expedite the process to euthanize pets.

Every year, when July 1st comes around, our National Moving Day, many pets are left behind by their owners. These pets are often brought to "Berger Blanc" to be put down. It's no longer convenient to own a pet, it's getting too old, or just because it's not as much fun as one had hope, plus it's a lot of work, so these responsible pet owners simply decide to get rid of their pet. It pisses me off to see how little people respect animals. A pet is not a disposable good.

I've posted links about the news report on my Bacefook page as well as a link for a petition going around to shut them down. Their treatments of animals is simply inhumane. The owners of that place should be charged with criminal charges and severely fined. In the newscast they show an employee who laughed and really didn't care about the pets. He should be charged as well. That level of savagery was/is scary.

Some people will say "come on, they're only animals who had no chance anyway". These animals didn't have to suffer that way. When I look at my old cat, I can't even phantom the idea of having him suffer. I've been feeling sad about the idea of having to put him down (when the time comes), but seeing the horrible deaths some animals had to go through makes me shiver.  I woudn't want to see anyone suffer like that, in those conditions. How can someone not care so much?

Thinking about this, I've realised not only the employees of that place are heartless, but they people who abandonned their pets as well.  It is too easy to get rid of pet in our society.  When Hubby and I decided to adopt our cat (sixteen years ago) we made a commitment.  We would take care of him until he died.  I wasn't getting a cat only because it was so darn cute as a kitten.  I wanted a companion, and I have a great one.

I've been wondering, for some, if it would be as easy to get rid of a child, if some people would?  I have this strange feeling that some people might.  After all, it is a lot of work to raise a child, plus it's costly. At times, it can also be inconvenient. I know, some people will get upset about how I compare my pet to their child. But if we're honest with ourselves, we will admit that some people would, if they could get away with it.  Some people have shown as much cruelty to their kids.  We've only heard about those who did get caught, so there are some more out there.

Why is it we can not treat life (all lives) as the sacred thing it is?  How can we be so disconnected from our feelings that being cruel to another living doesn't bother us?  We live in a sad world... there's no doubt about that...
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One of the (many) newscast

Yeah I think it's right.

I'm realising as I'm thinking about this thing with my cat, and how much I worry about him, that he's making me feel things I thought I would spare myself from...

You see, when I made the decision not to have children (because if I were to be a mother, it wasn't to be for just one kid) one of my argument was the fact that I didn't want to love someone that much.  I know myself, and knew if I were to become a mother, I would love him/her so much, I guess like what my parents did with me, too much.  I didn't want to do that to someone.  At times, I felt trapped by my parents' love and at those times I wished I had siblings so we could share the love load.  It may not make sense, but it does to me.

I was, deep down, afraid to love.  Go figure.  I don't regret my decision.  Tobi, my kitty, became more than a family member, he became my fur baby, as I often called him.  I do know he's nothing like having a child.  I can leave him alone with water and some food for a few days, well, I could.  I wouldn't do it now, I'm monitoring his feeding since he doesn't eat much.  I'm emotionally attached to him, for the last sixteen years, and his upcoming death is making me realise just how much maybe, in the end, it's a darn good thing I decided not to become a mother.

It doesn't make anything easier, but I can't imagine how a parent feels when their child is sick or even worst when their kid is facing death.  No matter how old we get, we are always our parents' kid.  I see it with my mom.  Last week I saw Mary Osmond on Oprah, talking about her son's death, and how hard it was.  It is not the 'natural order' of things... In my case, I knew I would (if I was lucky) outlived my cat, and yet...

Last weekend we visited a friend for her birthday, she's a mother and now a grand-mother (but she doesn't look it!).  She did a great job with her kids, they are sharp, well mannered, good valued young adults.  Watching them with their kids was nice.  They are the type of parents who enjoy being with their kids and it showed.  The grand-kids (4 of them, aged between 6 years old to 3 months old) were well behaved, they looked happy and they were actually good kids.  What a nice change from some of the kids we have been exposed to in the past.  Even Hubby commented about them.  It was nice to see youngsters enjoying being parents.  Seeing their babies, I couldn't help but think how, if we did had a kid, our child would have look like.  Many people told us we would make great parents, I know we could.  We chose not to.  We may have cut ourselves from one of life's greatest pleasure or gift, but I still think it was the right decision for us.  If I don't regret it at forty-four, I think it's fair to say I'm OK with that decision.

All this to say, I wouldn't want to go through what I've been feeling because of my cat, for a child.  I would most likely go mad.  As I'm facing Tobi's upcoming death, I'm realising that I will probably be pet free for a while...

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It's all in how you say it, really.

When Hubby and I started dating (a long looong time aog, or so it seems) one of his friend had a young boy.  He was a cute little boy who was starting to talk.  One day we were all out on the deck and the kid was playing in the sand box.  I was in there with him, playing with his trucks.  At one point he stood up, looked at me, pointed in my direction with a big smile on his face and said "Dumb fuck!"  I was so surprised.  I looked around to see if anyone else did hear him and I saw our friends cracking up on the deck.  I couldn't believe what he'd say and how his parents were reacting.  His mother came to see us, and said:  Say it correctly.

Kid, again pointing at me said: Dumb fuck!
Turns out the kid was actually pointing at one of his truck, a dump truck!

To this day, whenever I think of this kid, it brings a smile to my face. 

When I saw this video on Bacefook, it reminded me of that kid, who is now in university... (yes it was that long ago...)

How did you decide you do not want to have kids?

This is one question I find odd to answer. Why do I need to explain why I don’t want kids? Why don’t we ask people who do have kids how and why they decided to have some? What makes my decision so special? Is it because we are not doing like everybody else? Is it because we’re making a choice that isn’t in accordance with society expectations of what we should be doing as a couple? The number of time I’ve been asked about this is still surprising to me.

There wasn’t a specific event or moment in time where I said to myself “that’s it, I don’t want kids”. At times I think I’m not like every other women: I never planned or dreamed of my wedding day, of the big puffy white dress, of having a husband, the house, etc. I never really thought about that. I didn’t date much, had many crushes, I was a late bloomer if you will. My first serious boyfriend, I ended up living with. We were together for six years and during that time I did wonder what a kid would look like if we were to have one; but then I also thought if it didn’t work out I’d have to see him (the father) again because of that child. That was something I didn’t want; once we’re done, we are done. Bye, bye! I knew we weren’t in it for a long haul. I was right.

Before I met Hubby I dated (for a few months) a guy who had a five years old son. Being a step mom was not for me either. He had his son every other weekend. It broke my heart when I drove the kid back to his mother. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to a kid. I couldn’t do like some parents either and stay with the spouse for the sake of the kids.

When I met Hubby, he didn’t want kids. He knew that much. So my decision kind of happened by itself. Three years back I had all the "equipment" removed, so that solved that issue (at least as far as natural birth goes). Yes I do wonder at times, but not enough for me to regret not having one so far. At forty-three I can say, even if I do know we (both Hubby and I) would have been good parents that it wasn’t for us. Call us selfish if you want, and you’d be right. We are. We like our time alone, or time together, our quiet environment, our toys. We made a choice. Hubby often says: “It’s not because we have the abilities that we’d have the interest or want the job.” I never doubted my abilities, or my capacity. I just didn’t want that responsibility. Being a parent is a life long commitment I didn’t want to make. I’m fully aware of all the joys a child might bring, how fulfilling it is. I’m sure it is. I’m happy the way we are. I didn’t make a conscious decision as such; it was an accumulation of facts, which turned out, in the end, of us not having kids.

Yes, I like my peace and quiet.

I’ve been raised alone with my mom & dad. It was quiet at home, most of the time. I love peace and quiet, still.

When I visit friends who have kids and loud relatives like it was the case on Saturday, I can almost roar. After six hours of screaming or crying kids included with loud relatives I felt I had been present enough. Family gatherings can be nice, and even if there was no arguments, no tension or anything of the sort I had to get out of there. I write “I” but in fact FB Hubby also wanted to leave.

During our time at this First Birthday Party, a cousin of the host told me, every time she sees me I’m in the kitchen helping, doing the dishes or something like that.

Saturday, I spent a good two to three hours, cleaning up chickens (nine of them, actually) after their bodies were carved.

“I rather be doing this than socialising” was my answer to her. While I’m “stuck” in the kitchen, I don’t have to entertain or talk to people I don’t want to, you know, like relatives of relatives you only see on occasions like these, and don’t really care about?

I’m realising the older I get; I have less tolerance or inclination to do things for appearances. I do things because I want to, not to please someone or to make one feel good. I don’t feel this need to be nice. I’ve been called “bitch” because of this. I don’t really think it’s fitting, but then again, I could so say this:

Now, that's impressive...

And to think some people don't even know where Canada (never mind Québec) is!

There is a difference between "want" and "hate"

Coming out of a client’s today, a woman was waiting by the door with a baby in her arms. The eyes on that baby were so big and blue; I couldn’t resist making a comment about them. I lightly touched the child cheek and she smiled up at me. What a cutie! As I drove home, I caught myself thinking that if some friends had seen me, comments would have been made. We are kid free. For many people, not being a parent means that we don’t like kids. In Hubby’s case, it’s a fair assessment, but not in mine. I will not speak/write for Hubby, but only for myself.

Two years ago (already, geez, I’ve been at this blogging thing for a while now!) I did write something about our choice. I stand by what I wrote. Not much has changed since then, except my ability to have a child. That alone took care of a lot. Granted, if ever, the need to be a mother would strike me, I would seriously think of adoption, but I’m not there yet. I say yet, because I will admit that at times, I wonder. I wonder how it would be. I think it’s only natural for me to marvel at the “what if”.

Unlike Hubby, it does affect me when I hear people say things about how much my parents or his parents would have liked to be grandparents. My mother reminds me sometimes that she would have love to play grandma… I understand that, but that wasn’t and still isn’t reason enough to have a child. My choice doesn’t mean I hate kids, it only means that I do not WANT one. What I don’t like are crying or obnoxious ones. Those are don’t care about. But then again, I’m fully aware that it’s not the child’s fault if he/she doesn’t have parents who will teach him/her respect of oneself and of others. I get all that.

Saturday evening, Hubby’s aunt called me, in a panic, because she was babysitting her granddaughter and she thought she was having an allergic reaction or something and wanted to bring her to the hospital to be looked at. I drove from downtown to the Waste Island to pick her and the child up and back in town, to the hospital. I sat in the waiting room, filled with crying babies, coughing and sneezing who knows what, for four hours. I never said anything; I carried all the stuff around (read Curious George, diaper bag, coat, etc) and waited. I was happy (well, sort of) to help. The chicklet was fine in the end, nothing but a stuffy nose.

I must say that I was a little upset, not because I wasted all that time, on an empty stomach, but because parents never think of me as someone who could help. It pisses me off that because I never got pregnant; people think I won’t know what to do with a child. I’m not stupid; I’m just not a mother. At times I feel as if giving birth is something prestigious. Yes, it is miraculous when you think of it, but there is so much more to being a parent, than spreading your legs and pushing a baby out. So, please, so looking at me as this clueless thing who couldn't handle your child and next time, instead of putting me on the “in case of emergency” list, think of me as someone who could also take care of your child, ok?

Mish-Mash Thoughts

Gorgeous weather we’ve been having, almost feel like summer is here, finally! Weird to think it’s so bad in Louisiana… I would seriously considered moving somewhere else if I lived there.

My mother’s beau decided to stop all treatments. I did manage to see him on Sunday, talked with him and thanked him for being there for my mother. It felt good to let him know that I appreciated him and what he's done. He's a good man and I’m happy he’s been in our lives for the last nine years. I wanted him to know that. It was important to me.

I don’t get people. Why is it TMI to talk about body functions? It’s one thing we all do, the ONE thing that makes us ALL equal, no matter what our beliefs are, what colour skin we have; we all poop and pee. Why is it bad to say that you look before you flush? We should all do that. It does give us much information; if only we took the time to look at it, whatever “it” may be.

It must be a very strange feeling to know, when you’re fully aware & conscious, that you only have a few days left… I can’t really imagine it.

I’ve been thinking about completely changing my template, and even location for this blog. I need a change, and that’s one I can manage at this point in time.

Happy to think kids will be off the streets, as of tomorrow! Back to school rocks!

We just watched two episodes of "Prison Break"... oooh how I missed Michael... Did I say how much I love September? All these new episodes to watch, like "Bones", "House", etc... Can hardly contain my excitement...
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Image: Mish-Mash

Our future? Really?

I grew up in town; downtown Montréal, in Little Burgundy, to be exact. It was rough and tough, no doubt about that. Despite it all, my parents kept a tight leash on me. By the time I moved out a lot of drug dealers had taken over the territory. The neighbourhood changed, like the rest of us I guess.

I then moved to LaSalle. It was fairly quiet. From there I moved to Verdun, also in a fairly quiet area. Then from there I moved to the suburbs, to Pierrefonds, in the West-Island of Montréal. Despite what we might think, it wasn’t all peaceful and such. The street where we lived had on one-side houses and town houses and on the other side apartment buildings. We lived on a corner. Often, people would cut across our yard. If either Hubby or myself were out we would ask them to not walk across. It worked most of the time, but not always. We had to file a complaint with the police because of a few kids who had thrown an empty bottle of vodka, taken from a recycling bin, against the side of our house. That time Hubby went out and followed the kids until he caught up to them and gave them crap. Long story short, the next morning we were awaken by two fathers and a kid, saying that they had heard that there had been a problem. Hubby explained what had happened, the kid apologized and that was the end of it.

When we moved back in town, I thought we might have issues with some homeless guys, since we are not that far for two local shelters for homeless. Turns out I was wrong. There are, across the street from us, apartment buildings. We only found out this winter that they are for low-income families. Since we moved here, we did notice some rambunctious kids, playing hockey in the street and slowly moving out of the way when a car was coming. Those kids had an attitude, and it was not their problem, that’s for sure.

A few weeks ago, as we came home, Hubby noticed that the kids, who were playing hockey, again, in the middle of the street, right in front of our place, were resting against his car, so he went out and told the kid not to lean against his car. At first one of the kids didn’t really move, so Hubby told him abruptly to get the f*uck off his car, so the kid turned around and said “No need to swear”. I was inside, cracking up. The kid was right, but his demeanour was just too cocky. He eventually, very slowly, got off the car. After what Hubby moved it to another street. Last week, I asked a bunch of them to go somewhere else because they were refilling their water bottles at the faucet in front of our basement window. Every time they opened the faucet the earth from the flowerbed splashed up in the windows. They moved, but with such attitude and so slowly to show me that “they” were moving because they wanted to. Those boys are between 8 to 12 years old. Last night they were sitting in our steps, feet covered in mud, which they were scrapping off their shoes onto the steps. Hubby went out and told them to go elsewhere. One of them got up, really slowly, and went down the steps. They were standing on the sidewalk, mouthing crap our way. Hubby came back in. A few minutes later we heard noise on the side of the house, so Hubby went through the garage to see the kids playing in the driveway. So again he told them to go play somewhere else. One of the kids had the balls to say that he lived there, which isn’t the case, so he could play there. I could see that their cockiness was building so I decided to call the cops. I asked to be transferred to the station, since it wasn’t an emergency but we were dealing with a mini street gang that could cause some trouble. By that time, one of the kids threw a rock in our window. Thankfully it didn’t break. I called the cops again, adding to the report, that it was building up. By the time the cops showed (of course!) another kid had thrown a can to our windows, again at the same time Hubby was opening the door. The kid saw him and scattered really fast. Those kids are like roaches when you flick on the light, they disappear!

After chatting with the police officers, who couldn’t do anything because the kids were long gone, they suggested to Hubby to keep calling them when we will see them back in the area. The live across the street!!! We should not hail them because we don't want to become their "target". I think that's advice is a little too late. I couldn’t help to think of those kids, in the West-Island who were a bit older than 13 years old, who decided to break in a house, killed the elderly couple using a baseball bat and stole their car for the “kick” of it! Or that movie I’ve seen, based on a true story that happened in England (can't remember the title of it for the life of me!) about kids who would terrorise people and then killed them for the fun of it. The youngest in that story was like 7 years old!

I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, whenever an adult would address me I would listen. Just thinking that they could complain to my parents, scared the living day light out of me, because I knew there would be a price to pay. Today’s kids have not idea what discipline is and even less when it comes to respect. I never even thought of playing on a neighbour’s lawn. I would sit on their steps only if a friend of mine lived there and if I was there with her. I knew what was ours and what wasn’t. I guess I knew what respecting others meant. I only knew what fear was.

It saddens me to see this. That’s our future… now that’s one scary thought, isn’t it?

Baby on board!

This is a rant Attila’s style.

While running some errands, with Hubby, in a local strip mall we noticed two police cars and a bunch of people surrounding a mini-van. As we parked we realised that a mother had left her two kids inside the van, one of which was strapped in his “not going anywhere” seat. We couldn’t see the other one. Both were locked in.

I don’t have kids and most likely never will either (unless I get pregnant, give birth, etc. within the next 2 weeks!), but I find it strange that a parent would leave his/her kid (s) in his/her vehicle. I don’t even leave my pet in! I really don’t get that. If you didn’t want to be bothered during your “quick errands”, why did you bring your child?

How many horror stories do we have to hear about before we start being responsible?

Every summer, there’s a dumbass somewhere that leaves his/her kid in the car. There’s also those asswipes who forgotthat their kid was with them in their car (back seat)!

I remember one of my uncles left his car running while picking up dinner – he ran in for a few minutes – and my cousin sat in the driver’s seat, pretended to drive and put the car in gear. The car started heading for the river but hit a tree before plunging in. He was lucky!

What about those twats who leave their car running while they quickly go in (garage, convenience store, etc.) to pay, and their car gets stolen with their kid in the back. What a bad criminal for stealing a car with a child in it! What about the moronic parent who left it their? We always blame the bad guy and feel sorry for the parent, but he/she is just as responsible (or should I say irresponsible) as the “bad” guy. We are such a bleeding heart society it sickens me!

What needs to happen for parents to realise that a child isn’t something you leave in a car? Are we that stupid? I think so, and then some!

As we walked back to our car, one of the cops was “coaching” the kid (who was still locked in) on how to unlock the door. I told Hubby that at least, they knew where the kids were and they wouldn’t run off.

A car pulled up next to us as we got in our car; a mother with two kids in the back seats. All windows were down. She locked the doors, left the kids, who were between 6 and 10 years old, and went to the bank!

Can you say irresponsible parent or is that just unconscious? The multitudes of options an ill intended person would have with that car and those kids are endless… and yet…

Parenting should be monitored and we should be tested to see how level of aptitude. It's too easy to have kids and not take proper care of them. It's sad.

That mother with her kids locked in her van should have been charged with negligence and her kids taken away for a few days… or maybe she’d enjoy the “time off”…

Sickening I tell you!

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Photo: Baby on board

The Strongest Dad in the World

A must read/watch the video at the end - the next time your kid asks you to go on a bike ride and you really don't feel like it, think about Dick Hoyt.

From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly

I try to be a good father.
Give my kids mulligans.
Work nights to pay for their text messaging.
Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life." Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that." Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon. "No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway. Then they found a way to get into the race officially - in 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?" How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four gruelling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe-sized smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time - Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing anotherman in a wheelchair at the time. "No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."

Here's the video: (Can ) Father-son bond of Dick and Rick Hoyt


In case the link don't work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryCTIigaloQ