Phase Four – Step 22

I read the preparation part of Phase Four, which is all about Targeting Transformation.

According to the authors I should have lost some weight by now, I think I might. I feel “softer” and some clothes are a bit looser.

Phase Four is the stage where I should finally get to kill off my worst habits & become more flexible. It seems that certain habits have been keeping me fat, and by doing all these steps I’m slowly breaking my “habitweb”. I am now at this point where I can begin to unravel the habits that control how I think. That sounds a little scary. I know that I’m capable of change and that I can break some habits, I’ve already proven that to myself with the previous 21 steps.

For the next week, each day, I will be asked to:

• Behave differently towards a person
• React differently to a situation.

While I’m carrying out these tasks, it will be important for me to think about why I’m doing them. I will have to be fully conscious and aware of what I’m doing. Each day I will have to take a few minutes about a different thought-dimension (a way of thinking that underlies my behaviour). I hope it’s not as difficult as it sounds...

There are seven key thought-dimensions that I have to use over the next week:

1. Self-responsibility (or accountability),
   
2. Awareness,
   
3. Fearlessness,
   
4. Balance,
5. Conscience,
   
6. Emotional intelligence and
   
7. Social intelligence.

I draw a list of six people I expect to interact with over the coming week, as well as a list of six situations in which I’d like to apply different thought-dimensions. Each day I will have to take a different thought-dimension and apply it to how I interact with one of the people I listed as well as applying it to one of the situations.

The book will tell me which thought-dimension to apply for the day and I get to choose the person and to put it in practice. Then I'll have to choose a situation and put it into practice as well. Should be interesting... for lack of a better word!

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Today’s thought-dimension is Self-responsibility.

My chosen person was: My mother in-law.

I put it into practice by sending her a birthday card. I'll keep my fingers crossed on how she will react. I only sign the card, not Hubby (he didn't want to). I wanted to do it and in a way stop blaming her for things not working out between us, trying to do something to change this crazy situation we're in. It might help.

My chosen situation was: Asking for help.

Instead of getting frustrated about trying to find a book (at Chapter's), by myself, I decided to ask a sales person. I've been known to be pretty "sharped tongue" with them at times, especially the ones that look at me like a deer looking at at car in the middle on the highway, I have a REALLY hard time with the "blank looks". So, I did look for the book myself (I was looking for David Suzuki's Autobiography, in English), but could only find it in French, so... I bit the bullet and asked a young girl. She looked into their database and they were supposed to have 6 in store. Another girl came by and told her that last night she "couldn't find any. They must be in order or something". The first girl asked me to follow her and brought me back to the section I had already gone through. Normally, but this time, I would start to be a little impatient. She kept on looking and Eureka! she found one! And I remained patient and didn't blame the kids for their lack of interest or anything, I asked for help and it paid off!

I feel nervous about mailing my mother in-law a birthday card, since I really don't know how she will react. The only benefice I see about doing that is that it "may" help our relationship (!? - One can still hope, no? Even after 13 years...). I felt good about remaining calm and polite, at the book store. The other benefits I see in acting this way is that I will do someting to change (a situation or how I behave) instead of blaming others. I know that the way I react to things is largely because of the way I was brought up, my past. I accept that, I will learn for it and it's time to move on!