Phase Four – Step 24
That day’s thought dimension was: Balance.
Balance in making sure that every aspect of my life gets its appropriate share of care & attention in order to get the maximum out of life’s rewards. The exercises were to make me realise how much (or little) I care for a person in my life. I needed to behave in ways that would enhance balance.
I had chosen Hubby as my person for the day. In trying to put it into practice I realised that my relation with hubby is pretty well balanced, at least I think so. I’ve been evaluating the importance he has and I’m satisfied from what I gain from this relationship. We spend time together, and we make a point every day to laugh together. Overall we have a good, balanced, relationship.
I thought of re-establishing a lost friendship that once meant a lot to me, but I also realised that at this point in time, I would not be willing to give it the attention and nurturing it would need to be re-established.
My chosen situation was to set a limit of time on how long I watch TV and to do something physical with hubby instead with that extra time.
Reflecting on what I did and its effect I noticed that despite what I may think (at times) I have a well-balanced life. I feel good about it. I need more patience than I do balance…
Phase Four – Step 25
Today’s thought dimension was: Fearlessness
When I first read that I wondered what I would have to do. They only meant that I would have to act without nervousness. To show a willingness to go outside my comfort zone, by doing something I would normally avoid because it would make me feel uncomfortable. I needed to put myself in a situation that causes me anxiety and to interact with a person who causes me fear.
I tried tackling a phobia of mine: spiders. While I was emptying Tobi’s litter box there was this big “Mother Tucker” spider in a corner. I took a few breaths and tried to spoon it out of there. It was big, with a thick body and quite fast. I didn’t know what to do with it – my natural instinct was telling me to squish it. I was turning the scooper over and over, with goose bumps all over, when Hubby came in the room. He laughed and said : “Trying to face your fear”. That’s when I dropped it… and Hubby killed it. …So much for that task…
Throughout the day I’ve been thinking about my task for the day and how to apply it to other situation. It wasn’t an easy task. I will keep it in mind. I want to extend the boundaries of my comfort zone. In the past I have lacked fearlessness in dealing with my mother in-law and it has affected my life in not so positive ways. I didn’t take action over the situation because I didn’t want to make it worst then it was and also out of respect for my husband. I tend to be more of a “confrontational” type; when something doesn’t work I do something about it. I did try to “fix” it (on more than one occasion) with her, but to no avail.
I can only be responsible for my actions or lack of. I will aim to push my boundaries, to operate outside my comfort zone and to face up what I’ve been avoiding.
Step 26
The thought-dimension for that day was: Conscience
I didn't follow the book's intructions as well as for the other steps. I know the difference between right and wrong and how to act on it. And, I do listen to my conscience, regardless of it being convenient or not.
I tend not to compromise myself too much for short-term gain. I try, as much as possible, not to tell lies (starting with myself!). I treat others with respect simply because I was brought up that way AND because I want to be treated the same way.
As for applying it to a chosen situation, I was "aware" of it when we stop at a little road stand to buy our first fresh, filled with sun and sweetnest, strawberries of the season. After being in the woods, hiking, for a few hours we were making our way home when we decided to go see what they had. We tasted one, and decided to buy some... probably too many, but they are sooo good!
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