The Proposal...

As far back as I can remember I don’t think I ever wanted to get married as such. Whenever my friends would talk about how bad they wanted a wedding, how they saw it, etc. I had no opinions. It never really was an issue for me. Was it because I had not met the “right” guy? Was it simply because I knew that I didn’t want to the do church thing? I’m not sure, but I didn’t see the importance of having papers that “confirmed” that I loved a person...

I was raised catholic. So, technically, I had done the big white dress thing, for my first communion. I even had the party to go with it!

In March 1996 we were going away “down south” to cut the winter blues. Jamaica was our destination. We were booked at Sandals Negril (an all inclusive, for couples). Looking at their brochure, we noticed that they offered wedding packages. We joked about it and said that we wanted to get married with a maid as a witness and a pool boy as the other witness. It was all a big joke at the beginning. Then we talked about it more seriously. We asked the travel agent some questions, one thing lead to another and we were requesting papers to do this. We wanted a marriage on the beach, just the two of us.

Prior to 1996 the church/parish would issue the birth certificates, etc. Then the Québec government took over by creating “Le Bureau de l’État Civil”. They were now the sole issuers of all certificates. This whole transition period was a painful one. All church registries were to be input into l’État Civil’s system, which was a big mess. Often a priest would write a name on a birth certificate, differently than on their registry, etc. And if the clerk who entered the information mistyped that could lead to long battles. Living in Québec, all of our official papers are in French. The Jamaican government wanted all documents in English.

We both needed a “newer” version of our birth certificates. Hubby received his with 2 mistakes on it: his middle name was misspelled, as well as his mother’s maiden name. I received mine with one mistake: my first name was misspelled.
So we returned them asking for corrections. We received letters stating that for any name change there was a fee of $200.00+. We were shocked. We didn’t want to change our names; we wanted to have them corrected, because they were misspelled. Then a long back and forth battle took place, to the point that it was getting too close to the Jamaican deadline, so we decided to call the wedding thing off. We would go on our trip, but not get married. It got too complicated, too fast.

We did manage to eventually get both of certificates corrected, free of charges, but after we came back. So the marriage idea was put on a shelf. It wasn’t meant to be.

1999 was a very rough year for me (and Hubby, by osmosis). January we had a big car accident on our way to work (we worked for the same Cie, in the same building, thus commuting together). Than later on I broke down – burn out. Then in April when I was thinking that I could get back, my dad committed suicide. Then in August, Nortel announced that they were closing our location. So, within a day we were both laid off. We received some “packages” to compensate us. Hubby had been there for over 13 years. I had only been an employee for 3 years. End of 1999 wasn’t coming fast enough as far as I was concerned. Since we were both unemployed we toyed with the idea of maybe moving to the States. A lot of ex-Nortel people were making that move. A co-worker of Hubby was moving to Texas, but for his girlfriend of 12 years and their 2 kids, it wasn’t obvious to get in the States. So they decided to have a quick wedding at City Hall a few days before their departure, so that she and the kids could follow. I really DIDN’T want that. IF I was to do the wedding thing, might as well do it the right way, the way we wanted. It got me thinking…

The dojo operator, D, where we trained at the time was planning a big “2000” New Year’s Eve party, at the dojo. He had relatives from the States coming in, and since I was giving classes there I was told to invite friends, etc. – the more the merrier. That is when I had “the” idea. I spoke with D’s wife, J, and asked if I could steel a moment, and propose to Hubby. They were so excited about the whole thing. Since Hubby was going to be the DJ for the evening his mind was “busy”. I then called a few friends asking if they wanted to celebrate 2000’s arrival with us. I didn’t tell people, I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone and was also afraid Hubby would find out. Nobody wanted to come, because they weren’t “karate people”. As I was speaking with a friend who had said that they didn’t have plans, I was insisting that he brings his video recorder. He started asking questions so I told him – they had to come: I was going to propose. He then rapidly accepted.

When we got to the dojo everyone was very festive. 2000 was at our door! A new millennium! The party started, than midnight came with all the kisses and hugs and champagne. Everyone was happy and wanted to party hard. That is when I asked people to gather around I had something I wanted to say. I had written a text (I often do!) and purposely wrote it in such a way that it could have been about D (who was also a friend). People were so excited, kids were loud and on the video you can see Hubby walking around, planning his music selection, totally oblivious. I started to read:

I have a few things to say about a man who’s here tonight, partying with us. I’ve met him in a dojo almost 7 years ago; there was something about him that made me wonder. People were telling me how nice he was, but I had to make my own opinion of him.

We became friends, and talked a little more, but there was still something that made me wonder. You are wondering too, so let me tell you about him: He is very understanding, he is patient, he is fun, he is exciting, he is strong, he is gentle, he is honest, he is tolerant, he is sensitive, and sometimes he can even be intelligent. (at that moment, you can literally see the light bulb go on!).

As some of you may know, 1999 was a very difficult year for me, lots of things happened, one of which, I stop wondering. There are no measures for the blessings we receive, only by imagining how our lives might have gone if they had not come.

True love is such a blessing. And I have found it. I hope I will always know his love as the wondrous gift it is.

Husband, you are my love… And I only have one little wonder still… Will you marry me?

By that time, he was standing behind me, rubbing my shoulders and said, “You know I will!”

Is this what you wanted Jason67?