More wedding adventures...

Since I already wrote about the encounter and the proposal I figured I’d write about the rest as well… Plus, on Friday we will be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary! Already! Time flies when you’re having fun! This will be a 2-part post, since I encountered a few obstacles along the way before making it to the beach.

The night I proposed was also the night where we decided when & where we would do it. We knew that in August we would be attending a karate seminar in Hawaii, so it seemed like a logical thing to combine the two.

We both knew that we wanted to get married on a beach, a simple and casual affair. We wanted to be comfortable as well as our guests, if we had any. We talked about different options and started to look at what was available. We wanted it to reflect the location as well.

My parents loved Elvis, and my father’s favourite movie was “Blue Hawaii”, he would always say how he’d like to see that place one day. It sounded so far away and exotic with their ukulele music and let’s not forget the hula dancers! I have watched that movie so many times, and never get tired of it, especially the wedding scene at the end, with Elvis all dressed in whites and all the flowers, it was so lush and gorgeous… ahhh! If only….

Talking with our Hawaiian friend I had mentioned how I loved that scene and she told me that it was actually the traditional Hawaiian wedding attire for men to be dressed in white with a bright colour sass. She explained their traditions, like the lei exchanges, etc. I thought it was all so nice and meaningful. Hubby knew he didn’t want to wear a suit & I wanted something simple.

A friend had offered to make me a dress. Choosing a pattern wasn’t easy. I didn’t want a summer dress as such, but didn’t want it too chic either. I wanted it to feel special. I was going to be a bride after all! Once she was done with it, I came to realise that it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t like the way it looked or felt. I wasn’t feeling “bridish”! I was so sad, all this work for nothing! I still didn’t know what I was going to wear! This was in February/March. I had some serious shopping to do!

I wanted to share the shopping experience with my mother. Which bride to be wouldn’t, right? I asked her if she would come with me. This was roughly a year after my father’s death. She was hesitating… Since she lives one hour away from Montreal her boyfriend, G., had to drive her – she doesn’t drive in town – and he couldn’t just drop her off, go home and come back later to pick her back up. That wasn’t an option. She didn’t want me picking her up at the house or even somewhere half way. G would drive her to the bridal shops area, park the car and wait for her to be done. I was dumbstruck!

I was already having somewhat of a hard time coping with the idea that he was living in my parents house – he moved in July, 3 months after my father’s death as a “boarder” –he used to be a close friend of my dad. My father would often tease my mother saying “ahh! You’ll be ok after I’m gone. G will take care of you. He’ll be a good man for you!”

G would wait while we shopped? Really? In the middle of winter? It didn’t make sense. I didn’t want to shop with this feeling of having to rush because he was waiting for her, even if she was insisting that he really didn’t mind waiting at all. I minded! We argued and then I told her to forget about it. I would ask a friend. I was hurt and couldn’t understand her reasoning, if any. Whatever thoughts I had about the two of us becoming closer after my father’s death became null.

I went shopping with a karate friend, M, then went back with another friend, L, who eventually I asked to be my matron of honour.

What a nightmare shopping was!

I’m tall and big or if you’d like “strongly built”. Every store I went to I felt like this huge mama coming in and when I would say what I was looking for I got looks as if I was the strangest person they ever encountered. I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted BUT I knew what I didn’t want:
a) no ass bow,
b) nothing shiny or pearl like,
c) no veil, and
d) no sleeves or gloves.

The salesladies were so rude. I walked in a boutique, they barely looked at me and before I even had a chance to look at anything said: “We don’t carry anything above a size 10”. OK then! Let’s move on. At another boutique I was asked if I was planning to loose some weight? WTF? I couldn’t believe it. L was furious. It only got worst after that. One place when I told the sales person, who wasn’t all that small herself, that I was looking for a size 14 without the big ass bow, no sequence, etc. she rolled her eyes and said: “Good luck finding that in your size.” What, chubby people don’t get married in your world? I was flabbergasted!

I was so discouraged… what I thought would be a fun filled event was turning into “the nightmare on St-Hubert’s street!” L is an accountant, so shopping with her was all about numbers. She would keep me on track in regard to my non-existent budget. We had decided to do 2 more places. I was about ready to quit.

We walked in “Oui, je le voeux…” and were greeted with a smile! Wow! What a nice change! That boutique’s concept is recycled gowns. You can rent or buy new if you wish (I did!). The saleslady listened while I complained about horribly I was treated everywhere else. She was so helpful, funny and she knew her stuff! She made me try 2 dresses; one I liked. I was feeling a bit awkward about the “recycled” thing so I told L we would do one more place – the last one.

That boutique was the total opposite; look wise, of the previous one. The staff was nice and their dresses! To die for! And then L looked at the price tag! Ouch! Serious pain in the wallet!

Unlike me, L would rationalize the expense. She would go with the other one, and spend the money elsewhere, like on the honeymoon. Her arguments made sense to me… Knowing myself I knew I would feel guilty for having spend that much on a dress that only a few weeks ago I wanted "simple and casual"! I was stuck and really didn’t know what to do. Went back and forth, thinking that I would only get to do this once (at least, that’s the plan anyway!), so why not indulge? We went back to “Oui, je le voeux…”, tried the one I like again and felt like crying.
I was so lost. So I called Hubby. He said: “We’re only doing this once, so get the one YOU want!”.

I did.

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Photo: Blue Hawaii Wedding Scene