Friday, January 26, 2007

Votre Friday Smile!

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied, "I'm not doing drugs either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my former doctor said that red meat is very unhealthy!"
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a little too much sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me sadly and said, "Then why do you give a shit?”

***

***

La maîtresse demande à ses élèves de faire une phrase avec "et pourtant".

"Vas-y Pascal : "Hier, j'ai été à la pêche avec mon papa et pourtant il pleuvait!"
La maîtresse : "oui, ce n'est pas trop mal. A toi Isabelle".
"Le chat a attrapé une souris et pourtant elle courait vite!"
La maîtresse : "voilà, c'est très bien. A toi Lionel".
Lionel réfléchit un instant et se lance : "Les filles mouillent entre les jambes et pourtant elles ne rouillent pas !!!"
La maîtresse très mécontente: "Tu me copieras 100 fois je ne raconte pas de grossièreté en classe pour demain et tu prépareras une phrase correcte avec "et pourtant".

Le lendemain, Lionel remet sa punition à la maîtresse.
"J'espère que tu as compris. Vas-y, dis-nous ta nouvelle phrase."
Lionel : "La terre est ronde (la maîtresse se dit: pour l'instant ça commence bien) et pourtant ça baise dans tous les coins!!"

Bonne fin de semaine & try to keep warm!

7 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Thanks...I laughed so loud the damn dog is awake and thinks it is 7 am instead of 4:30 and I have to walk her stupid a$$....sheesh...who knew you were going to post your Friday funny so early.

I have to remember...."Take the laptop into the closet and don't drink liquids while reading." Anymore stipulations and I refuse to read you anymore. So there! giggle.

Where do you find these? This is my FAV so far and my ILs are going to adore it.

Hugs...now do you want to walk my dog? Because if I had simply read this in 2.5 hours it would be 20 degrees warmer.

Okay...I take the hug back...Spot is dancing at the door. Damn, why do I laugh like a seal. argh.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, that's exactly why I eat what I want do and do everything I like. ;-)

Christina_the_wench said...

OMG I didn't see that coming! Too funny!

Jason Stockl said...

That first one is great. I'm all for steak, sun and... sex!

Purple Pigeon said...

hehehe i forgot it was the friday smile and thought it was a serious post for a minute! LMAO tho!

stinkypaw said...

skippymom: You can't take it back! Sorry! ;-)

ananke: It's called "enjoying life!"

c_t_w: Glad you enjoyed it!

j67: Aren't we all?! ;-)

elf: Friday is all about smiles!

Attila the Mom said...

Bahahahahaha!

I'm going to go eat some cheesecake for breakfast. Just kidding!