Thursday, February 01, 2007

A Lost Battle...

A few weeks ago I wrote this, and last Friday our friends’ father lost his long and brutal fight against cancer. He was 66. Last night we went to pay our respect to the family.

It was the first time I ever was exposed to a Buddhist funeral, or anything else for that matter. When we arrived we were given a little envelope with Chinese writing on it and something inside (I opened it later on to find a hard candy and a dollar coin). When we walked in the room where the body was exposed, we were given a stick of incense and were told to go in front of a Buddha, bow 3 times and stick our incense stick in a big pot. Then we were given another stick and were directed towards a little shrine where a picture of the decease was displayed, surrounded by fruits and flowers. We had to bow 3 times and stick our incense in a pot as well. Then we were told to go see the body.

You could see on Mr. C’s face that he had suffered. He was barely recognizable. It was sad to see, but at the same time comforting to know that at least now he was no longer suffering. The pain isn’t over yet for the family. It was nice to see them again, even under these circumstances.

After my father’s death, I had seen this poem that really touched me and had mentioned it to Hubby. That Christmas he offered it to me. Almost every time I read it, tears well up. It means so much to me for so many reasons. I now want to share it with you and the Chan Family.

Ascensionby Colleen Hitchcock

And if I go, while you’re still here…

Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
- behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.

I wait the time when we can soar together again,
- both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
…I will be there.


May you rest in peace Mr. Chan.

Image: Peaceful

7 comments:

Jason Stockl said...

My friend Laurent is in the hospital. They found lesions on his brain.

The doctors are not sure, but it may very well be cancer.

He's 35!!!

This is the first time a personal friend of mine (in my age group) gets seriously sick.

Needless to say he's a great person who does not deserve this!

lizgwiz said...

That's a beautiful poem. I teared up at my desk reading it. I'm glad your friend is no longer suffering. My condolences to you and to his family.

St Jude said...

This time last year I was nursing my Father in Law through his final weeks of fighting a tough battle with cancer. It is so difficult to watch someone that you love and respect going through this pain, physical and emotional. But I always took solace in the knowledge that as distressing as it was for us to experience his suffering, by caring for him, we allowed him to stay at home and leave us with his dignity and our love for him in tact.

The poem is lovely, thank you for sharing it with us.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful. Thank-you so much for your encouragement, support and prayers. I wish we could have met under better circumstances but it was
really great to see you again. Take care of each other. Keep in touch, and thanks again for the really nice post.

Sincerely, Larry Chan

stinkypaw said...

jason67: I don't think anybody deserves cancer, no matter who they are. Cancer is just bad, period.

lizgwiz: Thank you. The poem gets me every time.

stjude: First, let me welcome you to my world! I'm sure it wasn't easy but like you said your FIL surely felt the love despite his pain; a nice way to go, surrounded by those he loved.

Larry: Again sorry for your loss - our thoughts are with you. Take care friend.

princess slea said...

did you ever find out what the coin and candy meant? i tried to google it but didn't find an answer.

cancer sucks.

stinkypaw said...

Cancer does suck in every way possible.