Thursday, March 01, 2007

I feel Fashionably Yucky

Last time I went to a swimsuit shop the only thing I really felt comfortable in was the dressing room. I started to think that “maybe” I should lose weight. The only thing that keeps me from staying on a diet is food. I love food. I often do the seafood diet: I see food and I eat it!

Who wouldn’t want to lose 20 pounds before swimsuit season? If you’ve got $5.95 there’s a magazine out there for you that can tell you how to do it. At least that’s what they pretend to from every rack at the grocery store.

Women’s magazines show touched up pictures of starved supermodels, and they pretend that is what we should look like. That is NOT perfection! The worst part is that they pretend that “that” look can be achieved without leaving the comfort of our home. Yeah sure! If their tips really worked, we’d never buy another magazine. Did you ever think about that?

Looking through magazines, I determined that if I ate what the “experts” consider the perfect diet for someone my age, height, hair colour and recycling pickup day I’d lose weight. The fact that I’d never feel like eating doesn’t have anything to do with this. I wonder if those weight-loss nuts that came up with some of these diet tips actually ever tried them? Seriously!

I know, like we all do, what I need to do to lose weight:
Step one: Get off my butt.
Step two: Move my butt.
Step three: Repeat! That’s all!

That or throw away all those magazines!

Maxine says it so well, doesn't she, when she says:

Fashion magazines are society’s way of saying “If you don’t feel inadequate already, read one of these!”

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

ooooooh I couldn't agree more, and I am a guy. I just think the whole Hollywood/societal thing is realy what is wrong with us. Glamour, beauty, etc. are all fleeting and vaporlike. You may never be, nor stay, totally hot like they portray. So many people get wrapped up and consumed by the desire.
Being healthy is another isssue. It is ok to strive for this in proper perspective.

PreppyGirl said...

I don't even want to think about trying to squeeze into a bathing suit. Yuck. My belly tattoo has a stretchmark right through the middle of it. Lovely.

princess slea said...

trying to lose weight sucks!!

don't call me MA'AM said...

One thing I found IMMENSELY helpful in my weight loss was just writing down everything I ate. I was much more conscious about it, so I would ask myself... do you really need another York peppermint pattie, or do you just want one?

That, and the getting off the butt thing works. ;-) However, I still have swimsuit anxieties... always will.

Purple Pigeon said...

argh, i agree. If i didnt absolutely love food so much, dieting would be a doddle.

These magazines are stupid. Its like ''We are skinny and unhealthy, but if we make everyone feel guilty and make out that we are perfect and they are fat, it will be fine!'' Urgh. I stopped buying them years ago.

Everyone knows the only way to lose weight is to 1. exercise and 2. eat fruit n veg and not burgers.

Did you know that humans, as a species, are evolutionarily (is that a word) programmed to stored food as fat, because back in the day, food was scarce. seeing as we have moved on so quickly, our evolution hasnt caught up, so our bodies still think that we need to store as much food as possible. Our bodies have fought against losing weight for thousands of years, and so trying to lose weight will be incredibly difficult, and why putting on weight is so easy. In evolutionary terms, we are still cave people. Its like giving a cave person all the food it will ever need, and them not going out to hunt it. Obviously, they are going to get fatter.

Anyway, enough of my theory of evolutionary history! What i mean is, its healthy and natural to have a bit of reserves. Just think, it will come in handy in an apocolypse situation. And just think, these stick insect types have never enjoyed the pure oral ecstacy that is enjoying an incredibly calorific but very tasty meal!

Paisley said...

I used to subscribe to a kazillion fitness magazines. I tore out all their exercise plans and never did them once. Now I just get one. Besides, there's no way that my butt will ever look as supple and smooth as the models and I know this but it still makes me feel bad.

stinkypaw said...

wreckless: I think it's the same for all. Being healthy should be our only concern, trive for better but by using the right tools!

pg: I was never fond of bathing suit. Have you tried vitamin E for the stretchmark? It helps.

princess: Amen to that!

dcmm: I used to do that when I was with "Mince a vie", maybe I should try that again... But I think I'm doing better with my food intake... At least I think so...?! I know I have to get back into action, that's my main thing!

elf: Thanks for the evolution explanation. We are not made to eat "sugar" the way we do. Like I keep saying when pointing at my belly "I have a money invested in it, wouldn't want to lose it all away - that would be poor investment on my part!" ;-)

stinkypaw said...

paisley: You squeeked by!

That's one thin I don't really do - feel bad! I acknowledge the extra weight but I don't compare myself to those skinny bitches! I ate food that I enjoyed to get those love handles and I assume them... well sort of! ;-)

Mr. Social said...

I am thinking that if I can get my gut to hang over far enough, then I won't have to shave my bikini area.

stinkypaw said...

Mr. Social: Welcome to my world! I like the way you think, maybe I would save some money by doing that as well... I know I would spare myself some pain! ;-)

Meow (aka Connie) said...

I can sooooo relate. I know what to do, how to do it ... but that darn food keeps calling out to me ... eat me, eat me !!!
If it wasn't for yummy food, I would be sooooo slim !!
Have a great weekend.
Take care, Meow

Attila the Mom said...

My favorite is the 6-martini a day diet.

I'm still fat, but I'm too drunk to care. ;-)

stinkypaw said...

meow: It's all the taunting!... ok let's go with that! ;-)

atm: I would probably like the sound of that, except that I don't drink...