Your Friday Smile!

Herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity. Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said...."I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married." She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."

Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.
Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room!
Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"
Yes, it is.... 5 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long...

***

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the ...?" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's "Miracle Grow"!"

***

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was a very nervous.
Her mother reassured her, "Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta." So, uppa she went.

When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran down stairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother, "all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, uppa she went again.

When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.
Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So, uppa she went again.

When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three
toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
Her mama said, "Stay here and stir the pasta..."

Have a great weekend
& Happy Mother's Day
to all the moms
out there!