Friday, November 09, 2007

Your Friday Smile!

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

***

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,'he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true... no more blow jobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely sceptical and laughed it off!
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds.
She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook...you're gone.'

Have a great weekend!
and let me know your birth day!

4 comments:

lizgwiz said...

Too funny!

Marius said...

Hahahahahahahaha!!

SkippyMom said...

My MIL will send me flowers when she receives these [cheeky lady she is]...while my own mother will disown me, but she is getting them nonetheless....giggle...

Best so FAR! You never disappoint!

Big hug!

Stinkypaw said...

skippymom: Nice to have you back! Let's hope your "moms" will enjoy as well!