It’s 4:05 am and can’t seem to find sleep… My internal clock is completely out of wack. It’s getting worst. I went to bed a few hours ago, tried to read but I could feel that I was getting into my book and wouldn’t fall asleep, so after reading for two hours decided to try to meditate some. To no avail, sleep was eluding me. I then decided to get up and take down our Christmas lights. It’s official; the Holidays are over. I removed all traces of Christmas from our house. I hate this part. But it is part of the package, isn’t it?
( Poor Tobi, he’s all confused… He just came by and meowed like he does in the morning when I don’t feed him fast enough after being up…Oh well… He’s even pawing me on the forearm, poor thing… My insomnia is causing him to have false expectation.)
Hubby is sound asleep. As I sit here, I try not to type in a noisy way, but then again with the cat “chatting” as he keeps coming back… maybe I should feed him now…
The last few weeks my sleep patterns have been weird. I’ve always been a night person. I’m not a morning person. I’ve never been either. As a teen I would have slept the whole day through if only allowed. It was tolerated until noon. After that, one was cruising for a rude awakening. I’ve often been called “lazy” because I liked being in bed. Nowadays I sleep as much, or as little, as my body needs, whenever I can. That is one instance when I do listen to my body. That is also my main benefit for working from home.
Maybe I’m still awake because of that pot of green tea I had at dinner? Is green tea full of caffeine? I should Google it. Or maybe it’s due to the fact that I did some work before going to bed? My brain is racing… it’s been like that all day, since I woke up from this strange dream I was having. Ever had one of those dream where even if you don’t really remember it specifically, there was something in it that truly bugged you? That’s the kind I had last night. All day it trotted in my head, and I had this feeling that I did something wrong and was about to be found out or something… Very strange feeling, especially since the people in my dream I haven’t seen in a long time… and I’ve been wrecking my brain trying to figure things out… It doesn’t make sense… conscious sense anyway. This message is way too obscure for me in the state I am in. I just realised that I overused the “…”
Earlier when I tried to meditate, I couldn’t keep my mantra, I felt like a super ball that has been thrown against a very hard surface and was bouncing all over the place. Argh. Even now, I fell like I’m the ball, in a pinball machine, stuck on top, and bouncing off those little bumpers non-stop. Can somebody please give this machine of mine a good shove, a good pelvic thrust, but not too hard! I just want to get out of that area; I don’t want my machine to get tilted! I just want to sleep...