Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo... (I've actually been asked if that was true by a woman coming from France to visit her relatives here. Honest!)
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A : Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can Isell it in Canada ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs .
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them of f by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
***
This is the way, we, Canadian, snorkle...
Have a great weekend!
Don't forget to tell me your birth day, if you haven't yet!
Don't forget to tell me your birth day, if you haven't yet!
9 comments:
I knew it!! Canadians have no sense of humour and have difficulty in stringing two words together [I wish]
I would say ROTFLMAO, but it's too early for that sort of activity. But inside I'm rolling.
:-)
Hippo racing??????? And I want to smack the person who wanted to know where North was. Yikes!
It's strange: I spent a lot of time in the Hamilton and Toronto areas in my teens and I could swear the people almost seemed normal.
You have an excellent snorkeling form, BTW.
Grandpaw (no relation)
Too funny! I'm glad not all the stupid questions were asked by Americans. ;)
We get asked in Oklahoma whether the Indians still live in tepees (never did--that was the Plains Indians), whether they're allowed to interact with the white people (yes) and what it's like living in a dust bowl (that was the 1920s-30s, and only part of the state was dusty even then). Ignorance abounds everywhere! ;)
No hockey questions? WTF?
hehe
We here in West Virginia suffer a similar identity crisis; most people think we're still part of the Original Thirteen.
It IS a lot of fun to laugh at them, though! See you Tuesday at the hippo races!
Why does it still surprise me when I see really stupid questions from people? I should know by now that "everyone else" is a moron. ;-)
I live in the US... in the midwest. People who actually live in the US (usually along one of the coasts) ask me if I have buffalo in my back yard. Or if we ever have trouble with Indians. Or if we have running water or toilets in our homes.
Yessiree... this here prairie life is just like Little House on the Prairie. I reckon Pa will get out his fiddle and ask me, "Hey, Half Pint! Let's have a dance, shall we?"
When I lived in Denmark in high school, my classmates asked me if I carried a gun to school normally.
I'm gonna come up for the hippo racing.
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