Wednesday, April 09, 2008

One of many...

I received an email from Nablopomo in which it was stating that April was the month of “Open Letters”, so I figured I would have a little venting session in that format.

Dear Linda,

From the moment I join the class I had this feeling that you and I would lock horns. During the past four years I haven’t said much anything to you, besides a quick hello when I come in. There’s something about you that just doesn’t sit right with me. I know that you don’t like the person who introduced me to the class. It’s obvious and mutual, but I am not that person. I’m my own person.

A little while back you "accused" me of eavesdropping on your conversation before class. I was taken aback by that comment, but didn’t even reply to you. I chose to ignore you. It was too futile, even for me. Go figure!

I would like you to know, that if I do show up early in class, it is not to listen to your lame ass stories but to make sure I do have parking nearby and a proper seat. To think that I would come in just to listen to you, munching away on your chips and talking with your mouth full is all the proof I needed to confirm that you are conceded and vain. For your information, my world does not evolve around you, far from it.

Tonight, the way you got up and jerked away when I turned my head in your direction was hilarious and yet quite sad. My dear, you have some serious issues. I did try to befriend you, I admit, I would smile and say hi at times, but since the evening you looked at me with this disgust look on your face and asked me what I wanted from you, you completely turned me off.

Also, please have the decency to stay home if you don’t feel like meditating. You were very annoying tonight playing with your bracelet, taping your feet and finally taking out your keys. For the teacher to stop the meditation period and tell you to leave must tell you something, or are you so self-involved that you didn’t even noticed that? A little respect of others would kill you either.

No matter what, please know that I will keep on showing up early, looking in your direction at times, I will keep on sitting in front of you and if you have a problem with that, then just keep on huffing and puffing as you normally do, you're so good at it!

And by the way, when your friggin’ cell phone rings, answer the damn thing or turn it off!

Sincerely,

Stinkypaw

8 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...

I would also suggest wearing a very large hat - that should do it!

Marius said...

Dear Nablopomo,
You obviously like Stinkypaw better than me, since I have yet to hear from you on any matter. If you'll pardon me, I'll go eat some worms now.

Love,
Marius
;-)

3carnations said...

When people are talking loud enough for the world to hear, they can't really call it eavesdropping when you can hear them.

She sounds like a real joy...

Mousse said...

How on earth does that ego-maniac bitch focus enough to actually meditate ? She has no place there, she belongs in a zoo !!!! Pathetic vache.....

Mild Red (The Person Formerly Known As Ananke) said...

I think Linda is related to 99% of my coworkers! What a self-centered ass. And what kind of idiot turns a cell phone on during a meditation class??? Yikes.

Kara said...

what kind of class has both meditation and such angst? i want to join.

don't call me MA'AM said...

I'm scared that the world is turning into a bunch of insensitive boneheads. Really. I am.

As for Linda... I would have a very difficult time avoiding my snarkiness. And maybe smiling at her and blowing her a kiss every time I walked in. But that's just me. ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

daddy p: Thanks, maybe I'll try that!

marius: Don't eat worms, they're horrible for your breath! ;-)

3c: Oh she is, trust me!

mousse: She doesn't meditate (obviously). Love the "pathetic vache" nice! :-)

m red: It's all about her, and her friggin' phone!!

kara: The commute will kill you though!

dcmm: We should all be scared. It IS really scary! It's been hard at times to refrain from telling her to &#%* off! Real hard!