Friday, May 16, 2008

Your Friday Smile!

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of
his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES.

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....
Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES. Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT.

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS O F ST. FRANCIS.
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who
asks, 'What may we do for you ! my son? ' He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....' 'Very well my son. Please follow me.'

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.' He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'
He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign: GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER .

***

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

The minister fainted.

Now, that's funny... I don't care WHO you are!

Happy long weekend to all Canadians!
Please tell me your birthdate, if you haven't yet.

6 comments:

Mild Red (The Person Formerly Known As Ananke) said...

Hahahaha, now I just LOVE that last one for some strange reason. ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

m red: Of course you would! ;-)

Marius said...

Something about clever nuns appeals. Wouldn't it be great if the Catholic church really did have a sense of humor?
;-)

Oh, quick and totally unrelated question: what is the correct pronunciation of Quebec?

Stinkypaw said...

marius: "Qué" as in K (the letter) and "bec" in as Beck (the singer or the beer?!)

Marius said...

Merci. :-)

Purple Pigeon said...

tee hee!

Thats the correct pronuciation of Quebec? Man, I'm dense, i just thought it was ''Kwee-bec'' everywhere!