Friday, May 23, 2008

Your Friday Smile!

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school over 2 hours late.

'Why are you so late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on a project,' said Tommy.

The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.
'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.

The robot went around and slapped him, knocking him off his chair again.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a resounding whack!

Marsha doubled over laughing; almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'

With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

***
Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins.... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine, however, they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately so your brother Paddy came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a clueless idiot" ... Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "well, what's my daughter's name?"

"Denise" says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved, "Wow, that's a really beautiful name. I guess I was wrong about my brother", she thought... "I really like Denise". Then she asks,
"What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies " Denephew "

Have a great weekend everyone!
Happy Memorial Day (off!) to my American friends!
Let's not forget the birthday, please!

3 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...

.... and I am smiling. Have a good weekend ......

Marius said...

Ah, the old 'naming the children ploy'. It's like the Mexican fireman who's wife gave birth to twins. They named one Jose, and the other Hose B.

Yeah, your's is funnier.

:-)

Ananke (Goddess With An Identity Crisis) said...

I think Marsha is headed for a de-vorce. ;-)