Tuesday, September 30, 2008

"Man In Glass House Should Not Throw Rocks"

Last week we met Hubby’s cousin and her husband for dinner. She reads this blog (Hi Mousse!), and because she does she asked me about something I’ve posted a while back in which I had written that I was brewing a post, but never really talked about it again.

I chose not to at the time, because I didn’t want to offend some readers (I have this talent, it seems…), but it’s been a little while so I figured I would address it.

A few of the blogs I read had posts about a fellow blogger in need of monetary help. I will not get into the details, but let’s just say that this lady has serious health and financial problems. Somebody else wrote a post and commented on her situation. Things were written and tempers got in the way, and as usual in these situations some things were blown out of proportions. I’m not saying it was wrong nor right, I’m just relating the facts, grossly, and that is all.

With recent events in my life, I can’t help and wonder what I would do, if I was facing death and couldn’t afford treatments? There is one major benefice in living in this country, our medical system is free. Yes it does come with long waiting periods, but still, we don’t have to pay to see a doctor. And that is worth a lot. I have a hard time with the concept that some government will “invest” billions of dollars in order to save the economy when its population is sick and can’t afford treatments or medication. There is something seriously wrong with this. Sorry, I digress.

This lady was a point where she could no longer feed her kids and cover her cancer treatments. It’s sad. It’s infuriating. And yet, I can’t help and wonder: if she’s that broke how come she’s blogging? If she’s this sick, why is she wasting time on here instead of with her kids? ? I’m NOT judging her, I’m asking myself questions. I was thinking how would I spend my time in that situation?

When I say I’m not judging, I’m not. With what I’ve seen when I delivered the Family Christmas Baskets, I’ve learned not to judge. At least I try not to. It’s hard at times. I also came to realise we don’t all have the same values and don’t all react the same ways. I know what it means to make a choice, even if I never had to choose between food or treatments. I’m not saying I’m not judgemental, because that would be a lie. I do judge people, at times, on the way they dress (like at the funeral home), or on the way they behave. I will also admit that I will judge people on what they eat. I’ve said it before, I’m a food snob. I can live with that. But one thing I try not to do is to judge someone who is struggling and asking for help. In my book, that takes a lot of courage and not everybody is willing to expose him or herself that way. Would you?

21 comments:

flurrious said...

While I think some of the pleas for help are genuine, I also know that there are some that are just out-and-out scams. And unless you actually know the blogger, you can't know which one it is. So I don't judge people who ask strangers for help on the internet, but I also won't help them, at least not financially.

princess slea said...

how did i miss that throw down?
i'm pretty much known for being a skeptic so sending money to a random person on a blog would not be something i would do (sending fudge is another story!)

i know what you mean about wondering why she would be blogging or whatever instead of spending time with her kids. i guess you could assume she blogs when her kids are asleep and it's an outlet for her. i was more wondering how she could afford the internet and a computer if she can't afford food for her kids. Choices.
my husband has picked up many people in the ambulance who are on medicaid and welfare and when he goes in to get them (usually for being drunk or something stupid like calling 911 because they have diarrhea or something), they have a huge flat screen tv and a brand new truck in the driveway. makes me lack faith in the system.

kim said...

hey stinky! im baaack...

I've watched people scam others out of money online so I dont believe a LOT of what I read online, but I admit I would like to think of my blogging friends differently.

After helping friends and family out over the years I am not that inclined to help others anymore. You learn that people make their own choices and rarely are they the ones you would have made if you were in their shoes, and you end up resenting them.

lizgwiz said...

Tough question. But no, I probably wouldn't publicly ask for money for myself. Not that I'd turn it down if someone else raised it FOR me, so...is that hypocritical? I don't know. I do know when I broke my arm and was suddenly faced with $16,000 in medical bills, it was scary. Fortunately, I was able to work out payment plans with everyone, but...if I had kids to feed, would that change things? I don't know.

Traceytreasure said...

Sorry I've been away so long. Life has been crazy to say the least.

I'm going to have to think about this long and hard. I try not to judge others either, but like you said, it's hard sometimes. I try to put myself in their shoes. I don't know what I would do. I do know that I have a hard time asking for help so I probalby wouldn't do that through my blog. I would get with my friends and neighbors, though.

Thanks for your comments. I always love hearing from you!!

Hugs!!
:)

Marius said...

Hello, I am Finance Minister for great country of Nigeria. I am needing from you some help that will be mewchually beneficient to us both, already.

;-)

My brother used to work for a rental company and daily had to repossess wide screen TV's, and high end stereos from hovels in the hood.

Monkey said...

Mr. Monkey dispairs that I give money to people who approach me on the streets. My logic for doing this is that it would be so incredibly difficult for me to do that that I would have to be in desparate need to do this- so I think those who approach me are in dire straits.

Mr. Monkey thinks I am a fool, but giving that little bit reminds me of how very much I have- and take for granted.

Linda said...

I have been scammed so many times, that I just keep going. As far as giving money to folks on the street, I do it always! Why, cause you will never know if your couple of bucks did help them and it was not just for drugs or booze! :)

noble pig said...

I feel like it's a scam...sorry, I'm negative...it's so hard to trust things like this after you've been scammed before.

tNb said...

I smell a scam ...

Annake said...

I'm a skeptic so I don't usually believe everything I read when it comes to stuff like that. I hate to be so cynical but there are a lot of scammers out there. :-(

Purple Pigeon said...

I'm usually quite skeptical of pleas for help over the internet....there are so many scammers.

Personally find it hard to ask for any type of help, monetary or otherwise. Dunno why.

Stinkypaw said...

flurrious: I know what you mean. Last June I did ask people to pledge me for a cancer walk and did manage to collect, from Bloggers alone, $165. which I thought was SO cool!

princess: LOL at the fudge ref.! I wondered the same thing about the internet and such... It a question of choices or should I say priorities? I know what you mean about what your husband sees...

kim: Welcome back!! I agree with you. Hope to see you again soon!

lizgwiz: I can't get over the fact that your broken arm cost you $16,000. Crazy!!! I can't even think of having to pay for medical attention... wow.

traceyt: Asking is always hard, no matter who you ask, that's for sure...

marius: I'm not naive, trust me, quite the opposite, and I'm not surprise about the "repo" people either.

monkey: I give money as well on the street, but I tend to choose to whom and how it's asked. You're a good person Monkey. :-)

linda: Welcome to my world! Hope to see you again. I do that to, if it helps, right?

noble pig: Been there - done that! ;-)

tnb: Maybe...

annake: Cynical, you? No, really? Hee.

Stinkypaw said...

pigeon: Welcome back! Asking is hard, no matter for what, help or otherwise... for me anyway!

Janes Insane said...

I have been in a situation where some might have questioned my priorities. In the 80s I was on welfare for 2 1/2 years and I had cable t.v. That may not seem like much, but when you get $647 a month, $25 is a LOT. But for me, that was my socialization, my entertainment. I didn't go out to dinner, the movies, buy cigarettes, etc. Some may have wondered how I could have cable, when perhaps I shouldn't have, afterall, it's a luxury.

For some people the internet is their window to the world. Some don't go out & it can be relatively inexpensive, let's say as low as $15 a month. That's pretty cheap for connecting with so many others, especially others in your situation.

I've been scammed by people online & I think it's just awful. I try to keep an open mind & be cautious... really, really cautious.

1 favor... You mentioned the health program in Canada. Would you please write a post about that? I am for Nat'l healthcare (which is not what Obama is offering) but I've only heard nightmare stories about Canada's healthcare. I have never heard it from a Canadian & would love to know about your personal experience. For example, the wait times, quality of drs., meds.

Stinkypaw said...

janes: I know what you mean about being cautious. I will try to write something about our health care... thanks for asking!

Janes Insane said...

Wonderful! I've been meaning to ask a Canadian for so long & when you mentioned it, I finally remembered! Thank you so much.
:)

Anonymous said...

I have a job, a car, widescreen tv, internet, and all of the other trappings. If I should become terminally ill, I will still have those same things...Shame on you for considering the fact that because a person is in a bad spot, that they should have nothing.
Nicole

Stinkypaw said...

nicole: I think you've misread my post, I never thought or would want anyone in a bad spot to have nothing. I'm asking myself questions on how I would act and spend my time if I was terminally ill...

sarah said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed

reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



Sarah

http://www.thetreadmillguide.com

Stinkypaw said...

sarah: Welcome to my world, hope to see you around more often!