Tuesday, May 05, 2009

What the heck?

What is going on in the world? I’m asking you, because I feel a little out of it at the moment. You see it all started with me finishing the last book of the “Twilight” series… and I’m not sure I really liked how it ended. Anyhow, then it got worst when we went to the vet for Tobi because a friend suggested he might have some skin disease. We were there for over two hours and $400 later we’re told he has a hyperthyroid problem. We have to change his diet and give him pills daily to control his thyroid. As strange as it may seem, I’ve been preparing myself, slowly, to the idea that Tobi is old (he’ll be 14 in July which is about 73 in our years, so yeah, he’s old) and that I’ll be losing him soon… strange, I know, but that’s me.

To make things a little more… worst, I was informed by a friend that a girlfriend from high school which I’ve seen six weeks ago, died suddenly over the weekend. I’m still stun. To think that the last time I saw her, was actually the last time! She was so full of life and energy; it doesn’t seem real somehow. I can’t even phantom how her family must feel.

Last night as I was trying to catch up on my blog reading I came upon Mr. Charlie’s post in which he writes that he’ll be “going home” soon… WTF? This was the worser (that’s just how worst it was!) thing I could read at this exact moment. I know were not eternal, that we’re only a vessel, etc. etc. but come on!

I'm the first one to say (and accept!) that death is part of life; I know that and accept it, but all at once, it’s a bit much! It’s one thing to lose friends along the ways because of different point of views, moves, and careers, even partners (not always an easy thing to “like” the spouse of a long time friend at times). One thing I do know about myself is that I’m faithful. I’m a good friend to have, really. I’m telling you! To think of losing people (or pets) I love makes me wince. I don’t even like it when I lose a reader, imagine!

I’m realising that I’ve welcomed death easier when it came after an illness than I do when it comes unannounced. I’m a planner, so I guess this is why I’m not comfortable with the “out of the blue” moments… I need preparation, to prep my mind, my heart, to accept and deal. In a way I should be thankful Charlie is preparing us to the eventuality, but I guess I got caught up in the excitement of having him as one of my good blends and was taken aback by his post…

I need to cruise for a while, you know, smooth sailing without too many waves… some down time, yeah that’s it, I need a break from all the craziness that has been my life for the last few years…


Just a grail said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Death is so fricking hard. I know in my head that it is a part of life and yada yada but man it is hard.
It IS worser when you can't say good bye, because if we would have known that was the last time, it might have been different. I try to remember that all the time with people I love, but we get caught up in living and I don't. So Sad.

Traceytreasure said...

I don't like when things happen suddenly. I'm still not over losing our cat last year because it happened so suddenly and she was very young. Losing our friend, the same thing....No notice, no time to get used to the changes or the fact that you won't be seeing them again, ever.
I'm hoping that Tobi will be fine and with you for many, many more years.
I'm sorry about your friend. I try to tell the people that I love that I love them often just in case.....You never know.....


Anonymous said...

I am keeping you in my thoughts- and hoping hard you will get a reprieve very soon.

flurrious said...

I'm sorry about your friends, and Tobi too (although it sounds like he'll be okay, so you should try not to worry). These things seem to happen all at once, don't they?

Marius said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As you know I had a similar time not too long ago, and you know how to contact me, so if you need/want to, don't hesitate. I may not have a whole lot of insight into how to get through it in one piece, but I can commiserate.

In meantime here's a virtual hug.


Charlie said...

I realize that I'm "outing" myself here, SP, but the reason I wrote that post about my health was, as you say, "In a way I should be thankful Charlie is preparing us to the eventuality..."Unfortunately, the timing was really crappy for you, what with the news of the sudden death of your friend and your worry over Tobi.

What amazes me about blogging is not only the friendships we make but more, the human bonds that we forge. We laugh and we cry, we are happy and we are sad, and we realize that we are all in this together for better or for worse.

I'm not going anywhere for a while because I'm fighting it, and as for Tobi, please give him a kiss and a belly rub for me.

kara said...

let me know if you need cookies. it's the only way i know how to comfort.

Seeker said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. Sorry to hear about Charlie too (I visited his blog). Death is never easy to deal with, no matter who it is that is dying.

I so understand about Tobi! Our golden retriever was 13 last December and that is a good age for a goldie! I already cry sometimes when I think about losing him; God knows what I will be like when the time finally comes!

Attila The Mom said...

It seems to come crashing down at once, doesn't it?

Hubby's mom went in to have a hip replacement (she's 87) the same day his sister was told she was in stage 3 of a cancer that she has about a 5% chance of surviving over 3 years with. Meanwhile, Hubby is stuck here with the business when he feels he should be back east with them.

Then my ex-husband called to tell us he was coming to town because his dad has refused dialysis for kidney failure and signed a DNR.

It just seems like when it rains it pours. :-(

Stinkypaw said...

Grail: Thanks, it is hard for those left behind, but for the deceased I think it's the best way to go.

Traceyt: Tobi is doing better, doesn't enjoy his pills but he seems to be a little more "awake". Thanks.

Monkey: Thank you.

flurrious: What's the expression? When it rains, it pours? It sure does...

Marius: Thanks Rick, you're sweet. I'll keep that in mind. :-)

Charlie: Tobi did get both belly rub and kiss, as requested. And you better stick around some more!

Kara: Thanks, cookies are always welcome!

Seeker: Let's hope Sandy sticks around longer, but we do have to prepare ourselves to the eventuality that we will outlive our pets... at least we should.

atm: Sorry to read about your husband's mom & sister - this really sucks. It's always like that, isn't it - all or nothing!?

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of you - I know this is always hard, whether it is friend, family member, beloved pet, etc. Many hugs.