As I watched an episode of “Lie to Me” (I just love this show, especially when they show photos of current liars) where they talked about statutory rape. The scenario was about this college guy, twenty-two years old and a sixteen years old girl who had sex at a Frat Party.
According to Wikipedia
“The phrase statutory rape is a term used in some legal jurisdictions to describe sexual relations that occur when one participant is below the age required to legally consent to the behavior. Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sex with minors under the age of consent, the age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent to sexual conduct, it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term "statutory rape" in the language of statutes.”Something about this disturbed me. In the show, the girl wanted to have sex with a college boy. It was her choice; she went to the party and came on to him. The guy didn’t know she was only sixteen.
I think it’s the word “rape” that disturbs me here. To me, a rape is what Wikipedia describe it by:
“Rape, also referred to as sexual assault, is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with or without sexual penetration of another person without that person's consent.”– the consent aspect is important as well as the assault.
In the show there was no assault as such and the girl consented to it (and did enjoy it). Granted she was underage, but she was old enough to know what she was doing. I remember being sixteen and flirting with older boys. I even remember my father threatening a guy, who was a good five years older than I was, about me being a minor. I did look older than I was; which is also the case of many teens today. I knew what I was doing and more so what I wanted to do. I was playing with fire. I know that now. I think I knew it as well back then, but wouldn’t admit to it, because I wanted it.
I feel that often we dismiss certain facts and simply choose to blame the horny old men, those bastards who will abuse the poor innocent girls. I hate that. It’s not always the case. We are too quick to judge and often forget that it takes two to do whatever.
I’m not talking about sexual abuser who gets their kicks on children; I’m talking about teens having sex before they are of legal age. I think it’s strange that they’re not old enough to consent to sex and yet they are (old enough) to drive or marry… Don’t we need as much judgement to be a safe driver?
If we were to arrest or prosecute all guys who impregnate a teenager, the prisons would be even more overflowing, because let’s face it, not all teens got pregnant by boys in their own age group. Also, I’m trying to remember how often I’ve been asked how old I was… or even myself, I don’t think I’ve ever asked a guy his age, because let’s be honest, my hormones and I didn’t care.
Being with an older guy was a thrill. I thought they would have more “experience” and they sure knew how to talk to me. Looking back, I don’t feel as if I was rape (in anyway), but I was pressured that’s for sure. But I also wanted “it”. That’s the confusing area… I might have been “of age” and I can say without a doubt in my mind, that I was naïve and succumbed to flattery and their experience. The temptation, or anticipation of it all was bigger than reason.
What about the parents in all of this? In the show the father of the girl was all upset and screamed murder. I’m sorry but to me it showed poor parenting. He didn’t know where his girl went nor what she did. It was all the guy's fault, he was twenty-two and should have known better. I don't think that's fair.
That’s one thing that didn’t happen with me, my parents watched me like hawks. I was on a very short leash and most likely that is why I never got into troubles. I also knew that if I did (get in troubles), I would have serious consequences at home, and that was incentive enough to “behave”, trust me. When I turned eighteen (our legal age here) I ventured a little more, and “experienced” life, but I guess having been brought up a certain way kept me on the right track. Funny what fear will make you do. Or not do, huh.