Sunday, April 18, 2010

Yeah, you! I'm talking to you!

In the sixteen+ years I’ve been with Hubby I can count on one hand the fights we’ve had. We don’t fight. We will have heated discussions, but fights, not really. I’m the one who gets hot tempered and will raise my voice and react (no big surprise there, uh?). Hubby just doesn’t do that. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he does lose his temper, just not with me or at least not the way I do. I guess we’re a good combo ‘cause there have been a few occasions when he was quite aggravated and was ready to punch the other guy out and I remained calm. He’s the ying of my yang.

Saturday was a bad day for me. I felt blah all day. We had dinner plans. A friend of ours turned forty-five and his girlfriend had organized a little dinner outing with some relatives and friends. We didn’t really feel like going because their friends and relatives are not really our people. We had accepted the invite for that one friend.

After I took my shower and was picking out the clothes I was going to wear I asked Hubby for an opinion. The first top I showed him had a little something that wasn’t quite right. The second one, bah. The other combination of top and jacket; yeah that’s good. At that point I lost it. I wanted a friggin’ opinion, not grunts. I got upset. Went back to our bedroom and changed to my house clothes. I had decided I wasn’t going anywhere. Long story short, I called the girlfriend to apologize for my absence, there was no way I was going there after my little explosion. We stayed home, watched some movies, and barely talked to one another.

Before going to bed, I apologize for my tantrum. Hubby is his wise way, simply answered he had learned a valuable lesson: we wouldn’t be going out when I did want to go somewhere. True, I didn’t want to go. I was ready to go and didn’t (consciously) look for a fight. I wanted feedback and got white noise. It pissed me off. (It still does, I hate it when I ask a question and get a noise as an answer.)

Today was a better day. Neither one of us sulks. If one gets upset, the other walks away. Usually within a few hours we are back to regular programming. This past weekend wasn’t any different. I understand my husband is just a man, and like most men don’t care much about colour coordination, fabrics, fashion, etc. I get that. He is the only person I live with; therefore, his opinion does matter. I have a cat for blank looks and big yawns. My husband is often my sounding board. It could be a heavy burden (I’m assuming) to express an opinion about something one doesn’t care about. I do get that. What I didn’t get was an answer when I needed to hear something.

Whatever the reason might be, how bad of a temper I have (and I do), I do know and recognize the fact I do have a loving husband, and for that I’m really thankful.
Photo Credit: Daedrius


Monkey said...

I know this well- sometimes my husband gets so lazy he doesn't say "I love you" but a series of sounds that approximate the tone of those words..... and for the millionth time I note that it is a good thing he is cute, or he may be smothered in his sleep...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

My hubby and I know how to fight ane we know how to make up too. I hope you had make-up sex and it was awesome.

I usually just go with what I feel comfortable with or in. He's only complimented me by saying things like "I like your boobs with that shirt."


Charlie said...

No matter how much we love our mates, there are always going to be things that piss each of us off. We are, after all, individuals.

We have a mutual grunting club at our house—we would have made good cave people. But the grunts have different inflections, so they mean different things.

Meg said...

It's good that you guys don't stay mad for long. Sounds like you have a good relationship.

Robert the Skeptic said...

My sister once told me quite proudly that she and her husband never fight... as if that is something admirable. No, what they do is hide their resentments from one another and pretend that all is well. Not a value I ascribe to.

Nancy and I have our bouts; two independent thinkers can have differences from time to time. But the underlying empathy, and a commitment to honesty, prevails... that and the fact that we still love each other after 25 years helps.

Stinkypaw said...

Monkey: Men are strange that way, aren't they? But, we do love them...

GEM: Nope, no make-up sex. I love the way your husband compliments you, too funny.

Charlie: Grunts are ok as long as when an answer is needed an answer is given... 'just saying.

Meg: We do, and I'm thankful for that.

Robert the Skeptic: Resentment is a sure way to kill any relationship. I speak my mind (a little too much, at times) so no real resentment here. Nice to read you're still loving your wife after 25 years, not too many of those around. :-)