Monday, April 25, 2011

Forked tongue a little?

I had an interesting weekend, for lack of a better word.  I didn't do anything Easter related as such. I didn't see any family members, nor did I go to church.  We left early Friday morning to meet up a friend who was participating in a flight simulator exhibition type thing.  Hubby was helping him with the computing aspect of the project.  I'll spare you the details of it all. Let's just say that by 2 pm on Friday, I realised what I would do for love.  Let's just say Hubby's been warned, next time if he wants support he better bring his jockstrap, because I won't be going!

While there, I ended up "making friends" with the wife of a friend of another friend.  We ended up spending a lot of time together.  We went for walks, talked, had coffees, shopped a little, etc.  We managed to kill time away from the hangar, which was a good thing.  I think I'm someone who easily gets along with people. I'm friendly, and this despite my habit of calling it as I see it.  It's not a trait of my personality everyone is comfortable with, I realise that.  That's just the way I am.

I hate it when someone says: "Oh, not to be mean, but..." or "I don't want to talk bad about..." and then proceeds to say something negative about someone else.  If they need to say something like that as a 'warning' before the express themselves, it is because they know it is either mean or bad so why bother?  I can be mean, I know that (too) about myself, and I assume it.  For example, there was this lady at a restaurant who had no teeth, but had some designed acrylic nails, those aren't that cheap to maintain.  At some point during the time we were in the restaurant, I've said to a friend the waitress should have spent less money on her nails and maybe invest in denture.  A friend, sitting nearby, said I wasn't being nice.  True, and yet, I still think that lady would have looked better with teeth than her nice nails. I'm being judgemental. Sue me.

While having breakfast alone with this new friend, she mentioned something that has been trotting in my head since. She talked about the relationship of a mutual friend.  She was stating things she'd witness between the couple.  Hearing them made me feel uncomfortable a little.  I like this couple, and hearing those things almost felt like I was being exposed to something I shouldn't be.  I felt she had some animosity towards our friend's husband and I don't share her feelings.  If what she said is true then I would probably feel the same way she does, but it's not the case at this point.  It's a strange feeling. A part of me feels like it's none of my business and unless my friend mentions something to me, I shouldn't have any opinion about it. The other part of me feels that if my friend is letting herself being treated a certain way she must have her reasons.  It is her life after all.

Have you ever been in a similar situation?  How did you handle it?  Please, do tell.

5 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

First of all, regarding the woman with nails but no teeth...I wouldn't assume that she has no teeth. I know people with partials that sometimes can't be bothered to put them in for certain occasions, and yes, it might look better if they did, but in the end it's there choice. There could be other stories behind why this woman has acrylic nails but no teeth. I wouldn't make the assumption that it's misplaced priorities.

In the case of your friend & this stuff she's telling you, I have been in similar situations. I just let it go in one ear and out the other, unless it's something particularly egregious, like someone's committed a crime or something. Third party information is always iffy because it's often biased and it is one person's point of view, not necessarily the "truth." Your friend is entitled to her opinion, but you're right, it's her opinion and until you get your own "evidence" I'd just stay out of it.

Just my 2 cents!

Stinkypaw said...

WC: She had no teeth in her mouth when I saw her, working, so I didn't assume anything. That was what I saw. I don't care why she didn't, she looked like crap, especially serving food. To me, it was (and still is) a misplaced priority, especially doing the work she did/does. I guess I'm shallow...

I'm staying out of my friend's business, that's for sure, especially since I like her AND her husband. Thanks for the change! ;-)

Attila The Mom said...

I'm sorry---I just can't get past that tongue picture (need to find a pencil so I can poke my eyeballs out)!

Stephanie said...

Yeah. I'm also going to need a pencil or something sharp. That image is just one of those that no matter how hard you try, you just can't un-see...

Robert the Skeptic said...

I conduct my self pretty much like Larry David on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" so pretty much anything I am thinking comes out my mouth. When called onto the carpet about it, I extend my arms and plead "What!?"