Monday, April 04, 2011

It has sprung, so they say...

I think April is a nasty month.  I should be happy thinking about the blooming flowers, buds on the trees, snow melting and all, and yet... it seems like I couldn't care less.  This time of year is always somewhat rough for me.  My husband reminded me it's a recuring thing...

My father always had it rough at the end of winter, and  around Easter.  I'm wondering if I've learned this behavior from my father or if it's because of him?  It will be twelve years in thirteen days that my father past away, and even if I'm trying to stay upbeat, but a part of me just wants to crawl under the covers and sleep.

What is not helping this feeling is seeing my kitty cat and coming to term with the fact he will be leaving me soon as well.  It is hard for me to imagine coming home to an empty house, or not to have him visit me during the day, to not hear his loud purr in bed when he's squeezed between Hubby and me... He will be leaving such a big empty space.

Earlier I went downstairs to file something and he came down with me, just keeping me company, and chatting.  Since he's been missing steps, here and there, I took him in my arms, and once again was surprised by how light and frail he feels.  He's no longer my fat cat, but my little cat.

I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach...  It's not a good feeling.

___
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5 comments:

Marius said...

For what it's worth, you're not alone.

Robert the Skeptic said...

We were really sad to lose our little cat, Angelina, who was tightly bonded to my wife. Though we resisted the urge to replace her with another cat; there is something to be said about being pet-free for a while.

TechnoBabe said...

Well, shoot. Your cat has become part of your life, part of your family. It is sad to watch your pet coming to the end of his life on this earth, but so happy to think of all the ways he enhanced your life. Hubby and I have been animal lovers all our lives and I had a dog when he and I met. We talk about it sometimes but we have decided to remain pet free. Allergies for us both have to take precedence over our soft hearts for pets.

Attila The Mom said...

Big Hugs, my friend

xoxoxox

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. Sending much love and hugs!

~ Michele