Sunday, April 17, 2011

Twelve years already...

...and yet it seems like yesterday.  No matter how they die, when a loved one passes away, that pain never really goes away.

At times I feel like I should be "over it", and still, when I think of my dad I feel somewhat sad.  I do miss him.  His image is still vivid in my brain, and I hope it remains like that, because I don't want to ever forget how he looked. 
As I'm typing this, I'm playing with the little feathers that used to be on his hat, that same hat he wore the day he took his life... Twirling them between my fingers reminds me of him, how he looked, how he dressed and how he would always wear his hat at least until late May.  He was always afraid to catch a head cold.

Strange how something as trivial as red feathers can bring back so many souvenirs.

Yeah, I miss my old man.  May he rest in peace, wherever he is.


Robert the Skeptic said...

In my case, my parents both died of cancer, it was out of their control and "inevitable", so to speak. I think the cause for your father's death adds significant regret for you.

Marius said...

My dad died when I was 14, and I still miss him. I'm right there with you, mon ami.

TechnoBabe said...

Nice hat and I can understand why the red feathers bring back memories for you. My father died 25 years ago but I wasn't very close to him for many years before that. I think it is healthy for you to feel the feelings and speak of them.

Attila The Mom said...

As someone who lost my dad to suicide, the grief is still mixed with anger sometimes. I hope that one day I'll get past that. The anger part, I mean. I miss him too.

Big hugs, my friend.

Anonymous said...

*Love* *Hugs*

~ Michele