I've been thinking about this for a while, and even if I'm still not quite sure how to word it, I will give it a try. Being an only child, my relationship with my parents was "mine". I mean by that, I don't think it really compares to anything since I think we all have unique ways of dealing/talking with our folks. I can say we've always been open and we could talk about anything. How many family do you know who openly talked about suicide the way we did? I don't know any. I knew that I could say something to either of my parent and could expect a reaction (more than a response!). It was most likely not really what I was hoping for, but nonetheless, I knew where I stood and where they stood as parents.
As I'm getting older I'm realising (sadly) I'm slowly becoming my mom's parent. I don't really like this feeling. I've been trying to remain the child, but it is hard. My mother relies on me for certain things. She's never been the assertive type (quite the opposite actually) and can't really make a decision easily. My father made all the decisions. I understand where my mom comes from. That alright with me. I don't think my mother and I ever had that "girlfriend" relationship either, and I never really wanted it. She was/is my mother, and I want her to remain in that role. There are other aspects of her life which I don't really want to know about. For example, her sex life, her love life... Good for her if she still gets it on, but that's all I really want to know. I'm not pretending she's not sexual, I know her, she is (or at least should be or pretends to be) and that's all good. I also know she didn't have it good with my father. He never stoke me as the lover type, anyway.
When my father passed away, and because I know her, that same day I asked my mother to take her time before falling into another relationship. Her words were: "There won't be anyone for a loooong while". It didn't happen. Within a month or two of my father's death a man had moved in with her. He was a nice man, and he took good care of her. He didn't have it easy. Let's just say he paid for some of my father's sins. That relationship lasted ten years.
She started dating a man she met trough an add in a Seniors magazine, or online. She's been seeing him for a few weeks and is off fishing at my uncle's cabin with him for a week. A part of me feels like I don't care to meet this man. Good for her if she met someone, and it works out, because after all when she's busy with him I don't have to "take care" of her during that time. Her weekends are busy, I don't have to drag myself to her place (one hour drive each way, just far enough to be a real pain!) to entertain her, so in the end it's all good. I don't want her to be taken for a ride either, I've heard of too many foolish women who got ripped off by smooth operators. I'm indifferent in regards to this new man in her life, and even if I do know it's a fair way for me to feel I can't help and wonder why am really I feeling this way?