Friday, September 09, 2011

What a day...

Interesting how fast things, even life, can change.  This morning while waking up I thought it was odd Hubby didn't kiss me a third or fourth times, like he often does.  I had this strange feeling when I got up, and hoped nothing bad would happen.  Within thirty minutes of being up, Hubby called me to let me know he had been in a cycling accident: another cyclist cut him off, on the bike path, and they collide.

I made my way to pick him up (not knowing the extend of his injuries), but after seeing him and the look of his knee thought we'd better go to a hospital.  Since he was still on the scene of the accident, with two police officers, I asked them if they could call an ambulance.  One of them asked if I had a cell phone.  I did.  I should call 911 myself.  I couldn't believe my ears. WTF?  One cop then 'reminded' me that earlier, when the ambulance came and took the other cyclist away Hubby had refused treatment.  I was livid by then, and asked if he was allowed to change his mind, and if his knee was that size when they first came.  He answered he was entitled to change his mind.  He then went saying that him calling 911 or me was equivalent, to which I answered "Our tax dollars at work" - he did not like that.  By that point I was helping Hubby put his bike in the car.  I still can't believe how nonchalant those cops were.  Maybe it is the wife in me reacting, but their answer to my request for a second ambulance was out of line, I think.

It was a day spent in the emergency room waiting for triage, to see a nurse, then a doctor, for x-rays, for the doctor again, then x-rays again... The x-rays showed how bad his left ring finger was, so he's schedule to see an orthopedic surgeon next week.  The x-rays of his knee didn't show much, so he'll have to go back once the swelling comes down for a MRI.  According to the clerk we saw, not before eight months! That is how long it takes for an appointment in this province. Ridiculous!

Hubby is furious, to say the least.  The other cyclist pulled a boneheaded move (and might be actually hurt) but since they are both cyclists there was no police report or anything of the sort.  We don't even know the name of the moron cyclist.  According to Hubby, while they were waiting for the first ambulance, he kept saying it was his fault.  It doesn't make up for the damages Hubby occurred today:  he'll most likely will have to change his bike (there's a good thousand dollars right there), he'll be losing a few days of work (being a contractor that comes straight from his pocket) and he got hurt in the process.  Depending what the surgeon will say next week, we might have to cancel our upcoming trip.  If that's the case, it will be an expensive accident and this despite our travel insurance.  Hubby's bike is broken, his right knee is at least two to three times its normal size, the left side of his face is scraped and swelled up and his left ring finger is shattered.

I wish I knew how to help my husband to let go of his anger.  I wish I could make him see how his negative ways are attracting negativity his way.  I understand his anger, I really do, and it is justified, but I also wish he could see how true it is that we reap what we sow.  It's not easy to let go, but it is a choice one has to make at some point, if one wants to be truly happy.  Holding on to anger won't bring anything good.  Granted, one might feel better to vent, but one must also let go.  Seeking revenge won't solve anything.  It might bring you some pleasure to know the other one is suffering, but in the long run there won't be anything else.

I believe anger and grudges eat at you, and can even make you sick.  I do believe the power of the mind.  How can you be happy and at peace, when in fact (deep down) you are mad and in constant turmoils?  I don't want that for my husband.  I want to be able to grow old (er) with him, to laugh daily with and at him, to enjoy our life together.  I don't want to be with an angry man, always upset about something and frustrated at the world.  Life is too short and beautiful to only choose to see the negative in it. I believe the good outweighs the bad, but one has to choose to see it.  That's all I can hope for at this point...


Meg said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the accident! I hope he recovers quickly.

Marius said...

I hope your weekend is eleventy-billion times better than your week was. *internet hug*

flurrious said...

Yikes. I hope he has a speedy recovery.

Seeker said...

Sorry to hear about your husband's accident. I agree that anger and resentment can eat you up, but isn't it a bit early yet to be worrying about that? The poor chap has a right to be angry at the moment!

I always think that to get rid of any pain (or anger) you have to first accept it, then express fully how you feel to anyone you need to hear about it - and then, finally, you will hopefully be able to let go of it! At the moment, I'd say he is only just at the start of this process - and just beginning to accept that he feels so angry!

I wish you both all the best with this.

Robert the Skeptic said...

It was true for me, perhaps it is true for others as well, but my anger over things has mellowed over time and with age. Reflecting your thoughts to him over time will likely help with that transition. It certainly did as my wife helped me with this over time. Hang in there.

J & A said...

Ouch!! Bloody moron....the other guy that is, not goose. (sorry had to slip that in to make him feel better). Hope the hip is ok. I guess he'll live through this as well, it could always have been worse. Let it all out, it'll do him good. Thinking of you both.

Stinkypaw said...

Meg: Thanks Meg, he's doing much better.

Marius: Thank you sire.

flurrious: He's on the right path.

Seeker: If it was only about this accident I would agree with you it was early to worry about it, but it is not. He's so mad it's not even funny. It makes it a real pain to be around - good thing I wasn't home last weekend.

Robert: I was hoping he'd mellow getting older, but events keep occuring and his anger keeps on building... fun!

J+A: Thanks guys. His hip is good. His knee was really bad, but he'd been icing a lot and the swelling went down considerably. His right leg is so bruised, it's unreal.

Anonymous said...

Oh man. If I was there I would give you a big squeezy hug and we would share a bottle of wine. I hope that by now things have calmed down, and he is feeling better, physically and mentally.

Having lived many (!) years of my life very angry, and often with good cause I know how it can eat you up.

Sending much love your way!