Tuesday, December 04, 2012

No matter what I fuck up!

Strange how sometimes even the best intentions turn against you...  For over eight years I've been going to a meditation group.  Every years there's always a big Christmas celebration.  I've attended every year.  I was glad to do so.  Over the eight years span I had to make choices between attending clients' celebration or my group's.  My group always had priority.  It still does, except that for being a business operator I can not always neglect my clients, especially when it is my best one.

This year, on this coming Saturday, we had not one, not two, but three parties on the same night.  I had to make a choice and decided to attend my client's this year.  It wasn't an easy choice, and somehow still feel a little weird about it, but I couldn't be at two places at once and after last year fiasco of trying to do two parties on the same night, I've decided to only do one, fully.

My client's party will be a big fiesta, that much I know.  He loves to throw parties.  My group's party will be a little more cosy and I would get a bunch of candies.  I know, it is childish of me, be I loved that part of the party!  It's fun and we laugh a lot.

Since I won't be there for the "pinata" aspect, I had asked the girl who introduced me to this group if she would collect some candies for me.  She had agreed.  Tonight, the teacher asked me if I had asked someone to collect my gifts, etc.  I said, in front of the whole group, that I had asked Miss D. After the class, as I'm getting ready to leave, Miss M. comes to me and tells me that since Miss D isn't really comfortable with being there that evening anyway, she would love to collect candies for me.  I felt stuck.  I don't really know why, but I did.  I didn't want to upset her by saying no, and I know she's right about how Miss D feels about that whole evening, so I told her to go ahead and to collect candies for me on Saturday.

As I made my way to the door, Miss D was waiting for someone, so I told her that she should forget about my candies.  Miss M had offered, etc., etc.  Miss D was pissed, I could see it.  She was upset that Miss M didn't mind her own business and I guess she was upset at me as well.

Since I've been home I've sent her a text apologizing for my lack of back bone in saying no to Miss M, and really insisted on not wanting to upset her and asked her if we were OK.  She thanked me for the gift I'd given her (since I won't be there on Sat.)  and asked what she could say...

Damn it!  I didn't think and something simple became not so simple, because I didn't have the gull to tell one person to mind their business... shit!

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