This time of year always sucks for me, in some way or another... It dates back to a long time ago, I've questioned myself as to understand if it was a learned mood/behavior from my father or if, like him, this time of year just suck... I think it's a little bit of both.
The past few weeks I've been struggling with an idea to drop some clients, and maybe keep one or two and that's that. I've been adding a few new ones lately and even if they seem like good ones a part of me is fed up of having to pick up other people's shit. While talking with a friend last week, I came to realize that I really was a pooper scooper for many of them. They fuck things up and I fix them. I do enjoy what I do, but having to pick up after others is getting to me. I chose not to have kids because I didn't want that job, and yet I put myself in a position where I play mom (in ways) for clients. Is it all because I can't say no?
I've been wondering why I'm having a hard time dropping clients; other than the financial aspect of it all, a part of me likes to be needed. I don't want to disappoint my clients. Some say it's my professionalism, it is but it also more than that if I'm really honest about it. I did manage to fire (indirectly) a client recently, and when she informed me of her decision I felt relief and at the same time that I was letting her down in some way. I'm over that feeling now. It is good.
Spring always bring up new things right? We often think of Spring as a beautiful season with blooms, the colors coming back to life, etc., but when I think of Spring I think of dirty snow melting and having a really dirty car, and of all the little turds showing up here and there because of disrespectful dog owners who don't pick up after their dogs... It looks dirty plus it smells. Argh.
That being said, I do enjoy the thought of warmer weather, even if this year we are not that blessed with that yet. One day is nice and sunny and the next it's back to winter, it sucks!
I'm in a mood for change, so I've made a few format change to this blog and I'm toying with the idea of changing my hair color, to go lighter... Let's change the things we easily can to start with and let's see where that leads us.
Cheerio for now!