Luvu man!

A few days ago when I read this simple phrase: “A man’s wife is his to protect” said by Jamie Fraser in “A Breath of Snow and Ashes”, it made me think of my husband. At this point, in the story, Claire (Jamie’s wife) had been abducted, raped and beat up pretty bad before Jamie found her and killed everyone involved. He felt so guilty for not being there when it happened. Yeah, that made me think of Hubby...

Last night, at some point, I took my book and read him that phrase. I simply said, you feel the same way, don't you? He agreed.

A few weeks ago, while at a friend’s house having lunch, I made a comment about Hubby. I often refer to him as “my first husband” or I’ll introduce him as “My current husband” or “My favourite husband” – those are all endearing terms that I use with and for him. In the privacy of our home I call him by his nickname or at times when he does something stupid I’ll use “Dumbass” (a la Red from “That 70s Show”),. It has (so far!) never been said in a mean way – I love him and respect him too much for that. Plus, I’m not the type of person who will call their spouse names. I just don’t do that. But I digress. Sorry.

Friend mentioned that despite what I say, she knew that we really loved each other. She could tell how much Hubby loved me, and liked how he showed it. It made me think.

When I first met him, at a karate class, I thought he seemed like a nice guy. Right of the bat I felt that he had this gentle side to him. He had good manners and was a good listener. We became friends. Since we’ve known each other we’ve always been honest with each one another. Before we started dating (at the time we were both in relationships), we would have breakfast after class (Morning classes, and everyone would have breakfast in the cafeteria before going up to their offices – karate was a subsidized activity for the employees) and we would talk about everything. He’s the type of person who likes to throw in a grenade during a conversation and see how people react. I do the same thing, so often we would have very interesting conversations. (and we still do!)

When we met, he was quite an active guy: played soccer, volleyball, badminton and was starting karate. When we started seeing each other he was in a league for each sport basically. I remember when I joined the badminton club where he played, a friend of his came to talk to me. (Little history here: at the time it was a bit awkward for everyone who knew him to be talking to me, because his ex was also a member at the club. …Between the time he called it off with her and started seeing me there was only a week turnaround time…). That friend said that since he had been with me his demeanour had seriously changed. She couldn’t tell if it was the martial art effects or I, but he had changed for the better. She thought he was a real ass before… OK then! I remember on our drive home I mentioned it to him and his answer was simply: “Yeah, I was. I wasn’t the nicest guy around”.

In the 14 years I’ve been with him I always felt loved. The way he looks at me, or touches me. Once on "Dr. Phil" he said something that every man should make their wife feel like she’s the most beautiful woman when she enters a room. Robin said that she felt that with Phil. Cool!
On "Oprah" a while back, she had Tim Sexy McGraw (what a good looking man!) and Faith Beautiful Hill. When he came on stage you saw the love in his eyes when he looked at his wife, and Oprah even said it. Nice!

I guess that without even really truly realising it, I have that with Hubby. Often at parties I’ll catch his eyes from across the room and I can't help to smile. He often just sits beside me and will caress my back, or lightly touch my cheek. Just now he came by and kissed me on the head before going back to his desk. He’s not afraid to show his love and affection for me and I like that. And what I love most about it is that he does it everywhere. It’s not house bound, like so many people I know.

A few years back I had a car accident: a 80 years old man forgot that red meant stop and rear ended me at about 50km while I was stopped at a red light. When I called hubby to let him know I had an accident, he immediately made his way there. I can still see in his face how concerned he was and also how pissed off he was at the old man.

A little while back I felt really bad (serious migraine) and he came home from work to be with me. He will often offer to stay with me when I don’t feel well. He will prepare my comfort food and will take care of me. When I had my knee surgery a few years back, and woke up in pain (the worst pain I had ever felt – bone drilling is painful!), he felt so helpless and it was so apparent. OK, let’s not forget here that he “forgot” to feed me a few days later while he had to go in (the office), and left me in bed, unable to move for a few hours, without food or water! – That was a costly mistake to be made! He did make up for that one!

I KNOW I am VERY lucky to have him in my life and by my side. I really can see in his eyes, his actions, in his being that he truly loves me and that IS a nice feeling. So when I read that line from Jamie, I immediately thought: “that’s something Hubby would think”... Not in a chauvinistic way, but in the loving sense of it.

He keeps threatening me that he’ll be around for many more years to torment me or to “take care” of me… "if need be."

…I sure hope so.