I’ve only been blogging since April (even if it does feel like way before then), and while exploring the blogosphere I came to realise that I was creating this special kind of link with complete strangers, I was, in a twisted way, making cyber friends. I write “twisted” because I know nothing about these people except that they have access to a computer and know how to use it and of course, what they share with the world through their blog.
Whenever you meet someone for the first time the “first” impression is very important, and I believe it is the same in the blogosphere; except here we have the option to click on that “Next Blog >>” button. It’s easy and nobody’s feelings are hurt. If you don’t like what you read you go somewhere else and that’s that. That part I just love!
There are way too many blogs out there for me to read, so I pick one, visit it a few times and if, after a few posts, I realise that’s not for me then I’ll drop it. I’ve met some pretty interesting individuals through blogs; some with a really warp sense of humour, some very opinionated, some very serious, deep, angry or confused, a real fruit salad if you ask me. A little something for all to enjoy! I read what they write, leave a comment; they come for a visit on my blog, and the blog dancing starts. Would I say that friendships are made? Well… That’s where I get confused…
When I refer to fellow bloggers I refer to them by their blog name. It’s strange since I don’t really how else to refer to them. I don’t “know” them… If we were to meet outside the blogosphere would we hit it off? Or is this cyber relationship only good in Blogsville? I have this feeling that with some we could become friends, but that could only be due to the “weightlessness” of cyber space; the anonymous nature of it all.
I know that Cyber Friendship is real, check this out. It has become what “Pen Pals” used to be (for me at least, even if I still love to write with a pen and nice paper!). Should I be thinking of my readers as cyber friends? I know that I can ask their opinions and they will answer. Is this like having your cake and eating it too? Since we are from all over the world there’s this freedom of not having to call and check on your friend... you read their blog and carry on...
We could all be playing games, leading a double life in a way. Being a certain way in Blogsville and a completely other way in Life City. (That will be the subject of another post that has been brewing for a while now). We can tell our readers whatever we want, and nobody knows (except the real people in our lives who read our blogs, if (like me) you have broken that rule and let them know about it), that could be empowering for some… and yet, it feels/reads like some people really do care about other bloggers.
Do you think the bonds we are creating here could be as strong, in their own special ways, as the one we establish “outside”? Are the concerns and emotions we share in comments as meaningful?
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Photo: http://www.waleg.com/archives/002840.html
20 comments:
I often wonder the same things. If I met people in real life would we get along? I suspect that some of us would, and some wouldn't but I may never really know. I do think about my cyber friends quite a bit too - and it's kinda cool to have a couple of real life friends who blog too so we can talk refer to people by screen name and know what the other is talking about.
I am sure that if I were ever in Quebec I'd at least want to meet you and have lunch! Then you could school me a little more on my French skills (or lack thereof). C'est vrai? ou N'est-ce pas? - (see, I never really know)
Good points all round. It always baffles me that when im not on the net, the blogger world doesnt really matter, but as soon as im on, it becomes very important to reply to comments and leave comments and such like. Its also quite diffecult to really insult someone, even though you know that they'll never know who you are. Apart from some people who really deserve taking down a peg or two!
I think about my blogger friends. If someone has something going on, or sometimes things will remind me of them. I definitely enjoy the anonymity of it. If I say something that irritates someone they, as you said, can click on the next blog. In real life I am not shy, but I am generally not all that sociable. My life keeps me very busy, and somehow I think I wouldn't make the appropriate time to maintain all the friendships I have in blogland in real life. But, as a blog friend, I think I can devote the appropriate amount of time.
As far as if we would all get along...Who knows. Some of the bloggers I read are really interesting and funny, but I don't think I have much in common with them. Others, I seem to have more in common with than anyone I know in real life.
Second attempt...the first one is blowing in the wind!
I think about cyber friends. Curiousity, humor, worry, and kinship are a few of the feelings as I read.
I like that the generation gap can be bridged. I doubt that I would be friends in the real life because of that gap. I feel young(er) and part of the "in" crowd.
The Polish Prince comments on my crafting projects so when I tell him what I am making for Stinkypaw, his eyebrows go up. I love the look on his face when I mention the unusual blognames!
I agree with preppy on this. It is easy to put up a front on your blog, so that you only see the funny side, or the sweet side, or the political side, etc. of the blogger. Who knows what that person would be like in real life? But I think it would be fun to find out.
I know a woman who has had a penpal in Englad for over 30 years, and they have visited each other several times. I think that is pretty cool.
pg: I don't have friends who blog, besides my husband (who got me to blog) and a cousin (that I sort of motivated to start blogging).
If EVER you make your way this direction we most definately do lunch and get to know the real people! That would be sooo cool.
N'est-ce pas, was the right one here!
C'est un rendez-vous assuré!
elf m: It is baffling when you think about it... I'd say that you still can really piss off some people even if you don't know them - some comments are pretty harsh at times, and there are some that I would love to really give them an earful... but that's me!
3c: I agree with you, on the blog we sort of "let go" a little more in expressing ourselves (not that I really have that problem in real life, au contraire!).
I think a lot of it has to do with how we read it - we might give it a "tone" that the writer wasn't intending or vice versa.
mimaw: It's funny that you would talk about the gap, I feel it too with a few bloggers and yet I'm not that much older. I've always been with an older crowd, so the age difference never really bothered me. One of my good friend is 16 years older, I think of her as an older sister!
My husband also thinks I took to this blogging thing quite a bit. I've been e-mailing people, etc. and even exchanging goods!!! ;-D
-r-: I would be very interesting to meet, that's for sure. Maybe some of us will, one day, I do think that friendship can develop through this, like it did with the pen pal back then. I had so many pen pals in school, from all over the world (France, Germany, Greece), now I use e-mail to keep in touch and my blog... times change I guess.
I'm glad you wrote this. I find myself thinking about online/blog friends in my regular life, too. Usually when something reminds me of something they wrote, or I see something one of them might like based on what they've written or commented.
I think that blogs are an opportunity for women to form a community that isn't subject to all the stuff you have to get around to form one in "real life" -- people's hectic schedules and that kind of thing. And although there are nutty people lurking about who like to make mean comments for no apparent reason, I believe that just by reading people you like and forming email/commenting relationships, you can forge friendships that, again, don't have a lot of the baggage of women's interactions face-to-face.
All in all, I see it as a positive venue for all of us. It has opened up communication about taboo or dodgy subjects and allows lots of us non-professional writing types to download our thoughts and see if anyone out there, anyone at all, says, "Oh! Me too!"
Hmmmmm... very interesting suject.
I went to a "cinq a sept" for Montreal Bloggers and it was weird meeting some of these people. I had read some of their blogs and a few people weren't the way I imagined... Some others, I read their blogs the next day and they weren't the way I thought they'd be!
Like in real life, I hit it off better with the girls (there were many less girls than boys, though).
Girls seem to write blogs like cyber-diaries while guys are a little more techno-nerdy, and they usually have a general subject to their blogs (like me...)
What I like about my blogging experience is that it let me "meet" people that share a common passion as me.
I have to say, I do "advertise" myself on MySpace and chat formus, and I generally get a good response from people who visit the Lounge...
lawyerish: Oh! Me too! :-)
I agree, blogging is opening a whole new world to a lot of people who may not have had other ways to express themselves, and to overcome a lot of the "women baggage" - good point.
jason67: Isn't strange that very rarely people are the way we pictured them? I think that is so fascinating. So more girls than boys, interesting and not surprising at all that boys' blogs tend to be more techno-nerdy.
Advertising, that is one thing I don't really do, maybe I should... what do you think?
You have quite a large fan club already, but a little "self-promotion" never hurt!
;)
I sometimes wonder, too. But I have formed the opinion that most (probably not all) of the people whose blogs I read are who they appear to be on their blog. Mostly genuine people, who have something to say, with similar interests (or not). I'm often doing something, or seeing something, that reminds me of a particular blog-friend (which is how I refer to them), and i may tell them about it on their comments later that day, or whenever. I think these friendships are real, although not in a physical sense. I have a great connection with a few of my blog-friends, which is a beautiful part of my life.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Take care, Meow
jason67: I'll think about it, but MySpace kind of scares me a little... for some strange reason!
meow: I agree, some of these friendships are "virtually" real! ;-)
It has to be some kind of friendship for me to send you a post card, while away on vacations! If not that, then what is?! ;-)
You articulated something we have all pondered at one time or another. Well said....
endlessdestiny: Welcome and thank you! Come back anytime!
I think of it as 21st Century pen pals. I began mine in June of this year, but already feel quite comfortable with my new friends out there, wherever.
I find that as the same people and I read and comment on each others' posts, over and over, it really has begun to feel like friendship. Even if we often don't know each other's faces and will probably never "meet."
heartinsanfrancisco: You're right it is a 21st century version of pen pals! The "circle" is just a little wider! ;-)
Very interesting post. I don't really think of the people I meet thru my blog as friends...but as blogging friends. Chances are I'll never meet any of them...but if I did I think the conversation would go pretty much as it does in my comments section. My blog is a reflection of me...it is me...so what you read is what you get. But no one I meet here will ever take the place of the real people in my life.
drowsey: I do call people met here with whom I've exchanged more than a few comments "blends". I know they are not friends I could call in crisis, and yet I might be surprised.
I'm real as well, I don't pretend, that's for sure. And my "real" life was fufilling before blogging and it will be after as well, I know that much.
I really treasure some of the connections I have made in the blogosphere. I am glad to have made it to your "inner circle of blends"
brave a: Ditto, my 'blend'!
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