What makes me a woman?

Before my surgery someone told me to reconsider, because having hysterectomy would mean I would lose the essence of what made me a woman… That made me laugh at first, and then it made me angry. I tihnk I’m more than a pair of ovaries and a uterus! It also made me think, what makes a woman a woman?

A few days ago I saw news report on local TV where they were debating if brain had a sex. Some of the “experts” would say yes and others no. I’ve been thinking about this for the last few days… Is it our brain? Our organs? What? I don’t know.

I know that some women really identify through their bodies. I understand the issues of women with breast cancer who lose a breast and how much it can affect them. Our society is putting so much emphasis on looks, on big breasts, on how we should look, that it’s only normal to feel like they’ve been disfigured. But is a woman a woman because she has breasts?

While in the hospital one of my bed mates, who also had hysterectomy (after 3 kids), asked about my surgery and if I had any kid. When I told her no, she started to cry and to tell me how sad it was, etc. I just sat there looking at her as if she was as crazy as Bernice across the hall (a very delusional lady, across from our room). When she said “you poor thing”, it pissed me off. It really did. WTF? Before feeling sorry for me, did you ever think that maybe I didn’t want kids? She was so surprised. My ability to have kids did not make me the woman I am, or did it? I don’t know, and honestly I don’t really care! It was not something I wanted and now I know it won't happen, for sure. Anyway, I firmly believe that it's not because you can that you should!

If “losing” my uterus and ovaries took my womanly essence, then what am I now? I’m not a man either, so what am I? Do women going through menopause wonder if they are still women because their bodies stop producing those darn hormones? I wonder?

This series of questions brought on a whole other series, what about the transsexuals? They take hormones, have surgeries, etc. but despite all that, we never really consider them anything else other than what they were born as. I remember seeing this 10 years old on Oprah who was born a girl but always felt he was a boy and always acted as such. He had tried to commit suicide at age 5 because his parents wouldn’t let him be a boy. Following that attempt his parents “accepted” him as a boy trapped in a girl’s body. How weird is that, and yet I believe it can happen - nature do foul things up at times!

So, I’m asking you, what do YOU think makes a woman a woman? Am I a woman because I grew boobs, and then had periods? Or is it because I “look” like a woman with the hips, etc? Is it environmental? Is it because I was dressed like a girl and given dolls and told I was a girl? Is it the fact that I could give birth? What?

Any ideas?