A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
****
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
(This one was from Kingman, KS.)
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. (And he was a Kansas City chef!)
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
(Happened in Birmingham, Ala.)
... and they walk among us and REPRODUCE. Kinda scary, huh?
Have a great weekend!
6 comments:
Hehehe
"IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
A few years ago in our little burg, some guys at the Taco Bell were busted for selling pot through the drive-through.
"Want lettuce with that?" has become part of our local lexicon. LOL
that first one was priceless!
...love the friday smile...have a great weekend!
Hm, that first one sounds oddly familiar. I like your version better though. :-)
Always nice to start my weekend off with giggles. Cheerios. Hee.
Damn cheerios! :)
I think I would like minimal lettuce!
atm: I'm sure there are a lot of places like that Taco Bell of yours. LOL
kim: Thanks!
ananke: Glad you liked it.
lizgwiz: I'll try to keep on making you smile.
shopper: Waiting for the day I'll see that as a type of lettuce at the grocety store.
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