A guy goes to the local Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, " Have you been in the service?"
"Yes," he says. "I was in the armed forces for three years"
The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes, 100%. A mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, " O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00A.M. "
The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M. ?"
"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
***
At a U2 concert in Ireland , Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone...."I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from the front of the audience yells out...."Then stop clapping, ya asshole!"
You Got To Love the Irish!
Have a great weekend everyone!
4 comments:
Good Friday smiles! :-) I'm smiling AND laughing!
Love the concrete thinkers they are good for a lot of laughs
Thanks for more Friday smiles!
Awesome.
An elderly guy goes to see his the doctor. He says, "Doctor, I have a problem. I can't pee."
The doctor says, "How old are you?"
The man replies, "93."
The doctor says, "Then you've peed enough."
dcmm: Glad you laughed!
wreckless: My pleasure!
mr. social: Good one!
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