Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Following fragility...

From the comments I got yesterday, most of us are not too comfortable with death or worst, even to think about our own death. I’m not really surprised. How many times have I heard people say things like: “I don’t want to think about that!” or “We don’t talk about that…” Why? Why are we uncomfortable with it? It’s part of life, and it’s the only certainty we have on this earth (besides taxes), we will die. It is the only thing also that makes us all equal. No matter if you are a rich little princess, an ex-pop diva, a psycho bitch from hell, a good Samaritan, a poor homeless junky, that is the one thing where it does not matter, we are all the same: we die.

I’ve always been aware of death. I cannot say that it scares me. It doesn’t, really. I would rather say that it fascinates me, or at least intrigues me. I’m in no rush to find out what it’s about, but I’m sort of comfortable with it as well. A teacher of mine told me that we should live life in order to prepare our death. He’s right. If you look at it that way, it might change how you feel about it. You know it’s going to happen, so why not prepare for it? It’s like winter here. We (Canadians) know it’s coming and yet every year drivers are caught without their winter tires, just like this morning (we had out first snow fall today). Well, maybe this is a bad example, since it does come back every year, but nonetheless, we know it’s coming and we have to wait for the first snowfall to change our tires. Why is it that we always have to wait until the last minute? There’s laziness, procrastination, not wanting to do something we don’t really like, or simply thinking that if you ignore it long enough maybe it will go away. None of these works, we are intelligent enough to know that. Let’s face it; it doesn’t work for winter or death. And yes it sucks! We have to prepare those around us as well as ourselves; we don’t really have a choice. It will happen.

Remember a few weeks back I had posted that link to Professor Randy Pausch’s lecture on Oprah (the short version). I also have the long version, here. If you haven’t seen it, check it out, it’s worth your time.

I’m always surprised when I hear someone who says they have faith to be afraid of death. Maybe I’m not afraid of it, because I do believe there is something after death. Yes, I do believe in reincarnation. There is too much for it to be the end. Maybe it’s out of fear that I believe, but no matter what, if I was to go soon I wouldn’t be lying on my death bed thinking “Oh, I should have done this, or said that…”. I don’t want to go filled of regrets and wishes, I want to go full of love, happy memories and a sense of accomplishment. I’m working hard at becoming a better person, and every day I try to do well, or at least not to do bad or to hurt others. Some days are better than other, but at least I’m trying…
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Image: Dying Dahlia

8 comments:

Parisukat said...

I guess we have to accept the fact that everyone is going to die, it's just a matter of who's going to die first. If we learn to accept that, It wouldn't hurt as much when someone goes away.

Lara said...

I agree with you wholeheartedly about living our lives as fully as we can! :)

Marius said...

You have hit the nail on the head with your comment "I’m always surprised when I hear someone who says they have faith to be afraid of death." I don't have faith. I want to have faith. I envy those who can believe without proof. Unfortunately I have yet to have any sort of revelatory experience to convince me that there is anything beyond. I won't say that there isn't, and I desperately hope there is, but I haven't figured out a way to manufacture faith.

Trueself said...

I agree with so much of what you say in this post. I am a person of faith, and because of that I do not fear death. I am not excited about it happening too soon because I feel I have plenty more to do here before I go, but if it were to happen I wouldn't fear dying.

What I would fear is what would happen to my son if I were to die before he is grown. Even though I have arrangements in place for him in case of my death, nothing can ease the pain that losing his mother would cause. I would hope I would have the chance to say goodbye to him, but one never knows. It can all happen so suddenly. That's one reason I always hug him and tell him I love him whenever we part, just in case something would happen to either of us our last words and actions towards each other would be loving ones.
Sorry, got a bit carried away here. Please forgive long, rambling comments as they occur.
;-)

Purple Pigeon said...

I used to think about death a lot when i was younger and it really terrified me. I don't have a faith and i believe that what you were before you were born, thats what you will return to i.e. nothingness. But once someone has experienced conciousness, its hard to wrap your head around 'nothingness'. I also don't want to contemplate my parents dying, or ultimately, will me or the G die first? Its unbearable either way.

I know its stubborn, because its inevitable, but i really don't like thinking about it.

Stinkypaw said...

parisukat: I guess, but I still think it would hurt still...

lara: We should try to max it out! Like that quote I often used: "Life's journey is not to arrive at your grave safely and in a well preserved body, but to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting: Holy shit! ...What a ride!!!"

marius: I know what you mean, I tend to be a "Thomas" (do you know what I mean?), I also need proof. And when I do get them, then I question it. That's one vicious circle!

trueself: Leaving a child behind is another story, and yet if it does happen maybe it was meant for him to live that. That's a good attitude to always leave each other on good words. Hubby and I do that every day. And please, never appologize for a long comment. I'm always interested in what you have to say.

pigeon: You don't have to like it, but you should try to tame it a little... I also think it does get better as you get older, because you have no other choice, you see that people around you are starting to go... Time works in funny ways...

I would have never thought you stubborn... really! ;-)

Ananke said...

I've been obsessed with death since I was a child. I think it was a funeral I went to when I was around 6 years old and I got my first look at a dead body. I've always accepted that I'm going to die one day but the thing that scares me is not really knowing what comes next. I went to church as a child and they always told us that Heaven was our reward but as I got older, I started questioning the church's version of what comes next. How do they really know? So for me, it's mostly the uncertainty.

Stinkypaw said...

ananke: I understand what you mean, and feel the same a little... I'm not a real fan of "blind faith" so to wonder about things is only normal and good. The only thing I know, I just don't want to go suffering, I have enough pain & aches at the moment, I'd like to go painfree!