Friday, February 01, 2008

Your Friday Smile!

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night.

Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy."

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "What the..." he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. "Damn!" He says.

He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of Fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No flappin' way."

But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, "I think I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub."

***

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't!

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia
Coli,(E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service .

Have a great weekend!
If you haven't yet, click on sidebar link "Bloggers' Birthday" and tell me, please.

6 comments:

Marius said...

:-)

lizgwiz said...

I KNEW beer was good for me!

Brave Astronaut said...

Don't know if you get this comic strip up north. But I saw it and thought immediately of you.

Rhymes with Orange, January 30

Stinkypaw said...

lizgwiz: But of course! ;-)

astronaut: Too funny! I actually laughed out loud, thank you for that! I will post it, for sure!

Anonymous said...

The wheelchair one is hilarious! :) I needed a laugh! Happy weekend!!!

simplypink

Ananke said...

Ew, does spring water count? Ugh, I think I'll get a Smirnoff out of the fridge right now!!!!