When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife yells back to him, "Give him your underwear!"
***
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
Have a great weekend!
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5 comments:
Pray allow me to be the first to say "EW...and EWWWWW!!!!"
Hillarious, of course, but icky.
:-D
Good morning, Ms. Paw.
A very scatological Friday smile, to be sure. Disgusting. And yet...hee!
Hahahahaha, reminds me of my first job as a nurse's aide in a nursing home. You know you have a glamorous job when you have to record the size of a resident's bowel movement. Blech!
Hehehehe terrible, but classic!
One of my very dearest lifelong friends had to take care of her elderly aunt until she died. The aunt spoke often about --um,-- output. Friend said to tell her if she ever started do the same. She has. Eeeewwwwww!
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