Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Too much pain

My body is talking to me, and yes I know that more exercise in my routine would be beneficial, I know all that, and I also know that I'm the one in pain here! I hurt from the moment I get up to the moment I get into bed and even while I sleep pain wakes me when I turn in bed, so, please… I know you’re well intentioned and only want me healthy, but there are some things going on with me that nobody knows about, not even the f*cking doctors! Can you believe that I went for my spinal tap on January 24th, and to THIS day I haven’t heard f*ck all from the neurologist! I don’t remember how many friggin’ messages I’ve left. At first his secretary would say “it takes a while for results to come in”, then the results were in, but she couldn’t tell me what they were. Last week they were off on vacation, and today they are closed. It’s completely ridiculous and yes I should change doctor, but I’m not willing to go through other tests like I’ve been through so far. There’s enough pain coming my way. A friend of mine, who’s about to retire as a nurse, suggested to get a lawyer involved. I might have to think about this.

I’m not looking for sympathy here, I’m just venting. I’m frustrated and in pain. The constant headache and neck pains are really getting to my moral. I try to keep up the brave happy front, and not show that I’m constantly in pain, the only one who really knows how much I hurt is Hubby, and it’s taking its toll even on him. I’m tired, physically & mentally. I don’t remember what I did or who I was in a previous life, but this life’s karma was all about pain, that much I know. I had to learn about suffering, and I think that by the time I’ll die I will have learn lots about it, that’s for damn certain.

Anyway, I received this video from a friend, and despite being long (18 min.) I think it is worth watching. Enjoy!


9 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Vent away Stinky ...... I'm a good shoulder if you need one *hugs*

don't call me MA'AM said...

It's your blog. You get to do whatever you want.

As for the pain, I'm sorry! I wish there were a way to help. I'd definitely be thinking of some legal ramifications, though, for that doctor if you don't hear back soon!

Marius said...

Few people who haven't experienced it realize how even 'low level' pain, when constant can become excruciating. And it doesn't sound like you are in the low level category. May the doctors get off their collective asses and get you fixed up soon, and may the pain ease off, or at the very least may the demigods Vicodin and Percocet visit you soon.

3carnations said...

I know you said you don't check that one email account often, and I just wanted you to know I emailed you some info that you might find helpful in some small way. :)

Stinkypaw said...

daddy p: Thank you. You brought a smile to my face...

dcmm: I actually maanged to get an appointment to see him next week - 4 months exactly after the test!

marius: I'm going for acupuncture tonight, at this pain, the pain has to diminish... without drugs, if at all possible.

3c: Thank you, I'll check it out.

Mild Red (The Person Formerly Known As Ananke) said...

Vent all you want, that's what blogs are for. Doctor's might be good at what they do (well, some of them anyway) but they know jack shit about how to run a business. And there's no reason whatsover that he couldn't get back to you about that spinal tap. My mother once had an abnormal mammogram and they wanted to schedule another one....two months later. Gee, I'm glad it didn't turn out to be breast cancer!

I wish I could do something for your pain. I've dealt with short-term low level pain in the past so I know what you're saying about not even being able to sleep. I can't imagine dealing with it long term. I hope things improve for you soon. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Nicotine Jones said...

Sorry for your pain. I hope it gets better soon...

First, you could change doctors and then request the original doctor to send the records. This would get the info to your new doc and then give you your answers.

Second, it sounds like fibromyalgia, possibly. Check here: http://www.fibrohope.org/fibromyalgia_what_is.asp

Good luck!

lizgwiz said...

Just dealing with my sciatic pain the last 2.5 weeks has made me cranky and exhausted. I can't imagine how you must feel. But you definitely need to find a way to get those results from that doctor!

Big hugs.

Stinkypaw said...

m red: Thank you, I appreciate the "virtual" hugs. They do me good!

nicotine: We've thought about fibromyalgia and did look into it, but my pain in very localised (head & neck). Thank you for the link, I'll check it out.

lizgiwz: Thanks! We sympathize in pain...