Friday, May 09, 2008

Your Friday Smile!

I hope not to offend anyone, but I thought these were cute...

An Ukrainian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

"Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Ukrainian says, "Dat is easy."
And he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Ukrainian.
( I thought he was Ukrainian, not French... oh well...moving right along...)

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules,
but this time the number is 99."

The Ukrainian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Ukrainian,
so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Ukrainian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

(You're going to love this one!!!)

The Ukranian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says,
"A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when do I start?"

***

After my short, but eventful stay in Scotland, I returned home to Oz.

I had a bunch of British pounds I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

The line was short. Just one guy in front of me ... an Asian guy who was trying to exchange his yen for dollars.

He was a little irritated and asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and answered, "Fluctuations."

To which the Asian guy responded, "and fluc you white people, too!"

***

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads.

We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion.

The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.

When these beautiful women get married, she brings with her, a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see if he has won either a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.

Just thought you would like to know ...

***
An American couple is standing in an airport terminal somewhere in the States, waiting for their luggage. The wife happens to notice an oddly dressed man also waiting. She asks her husband where he thinks the man is from. The husband says he doesn't know.

He decides to ask the man and approaches him.
"Where are you from ?" he asks the man.
"Saskatoon , Saskatchewan " he replies.
Puzzled, the husband returns to his wife.
"Well, where is he from ?" asks the wife.
"I don't know" replies the husband. "He doesn't speak English."

Have a great weekend!
Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there!

3 comments:

Marius said...

I personally believe that the native North American tribes made up a lot of the words we use to name our cities and states/provinces just to make the conquerers look stupid for all time.

Mild Red (The Person Formerly Known As Ananke) said...

I've got to agree with Marius on this one. It's the only logical explanation. ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

marius: I think you might be on to something...

m red: It does make sense!