When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears, or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby!"
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny,"cuz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses".
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman...
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
Have a great weekend & Happy 4th to my American Friends!