Saturday, July 05, 2008

Feeling like a Whippet...

Bloggers sucks! You all know that already, right? Why am I saying this now? I knew I wasn’t going to be around on Friday, because we had the funerals, and we had to be on the road early, so I prepared my Friday Smile on Thursday night and use that new feature of changing the date and it would post automagically. I was wrong! I was catching with a few blogs when I noticed on one of them that I wasn’t showing up, so I clicked on my blog to see that Blogger’s friggin’ option didn’t work! It is now 7:12pm on Saturday and I just published my Friday Smile! Argh!

I so wish I was more computer savvy and would be able to set myself up on our domain name. I need Hubby to do that, and he’s been too busy with other things for me to ask him for that. There are changed I’d like to make to my blog; I’d love for it to have 3 columns, scroll boxes instead of lists, maybe even change the whole look of it… all in due times I guess.

Since yesterday I’ve been thinking about death and how much Hubby’s uncle loved his wife. I feel for this poor man. He could barely say her name without crying. He will be facing some rough times ahead, that’s for sure. As we drove home, I started thinking of the things he had said during her eulogy and couldn’t help but wondered what my friends would say about me. I say friends since I don’t have any brother nor sister. Yes I have many cousins, but none that I would consider that close to want to say something at my funerals. I always thought it was a nice gesture when people stood up to say something about the deceased. It’s not something customary for us, that’s for sure. I did it at my father’s service, because I wanted to “set the record straight” for some people. A few years back, a friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident and his sister asked me to write something about their brother and a friend read it. I actually wrote a few of those for other people. Then last year Hubby did his mom’s. It was nice and honest.

Hearing the uncle talking about his wife and how she taught him to love was moving. Her sister paid her a nice tribute as well. There weren’t many dried eyes in the room. It got me thinking. What would I like to hear people say about me? What character traits of mine are touching people, if any? I can only imagine a friend standing up to say “She was a real bitch in every sense of the world. You would always know where you stood with her, she wasn’t there to spare your feelings that’s for sure.” I know I’m a tough cookie, and in a way I do take pride in that. But I also know that I don’t want people thinking of me as a heartless bitch. There is more to me than my hard shell. Can people see that? Can you see pass the rough exterior, the crude jokes and the “don’t give a f*ck” attitude? Can you see that deep down, I’m just a girl wanting to love and help and wanting to feel that way as well? I wonder sometimes…
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Photo:
Vol au Vent's

10 comments:

Marius said...

Maybe it's because I have yet to have the pleasure of meeting you in person, but you don't seem cold, or hard, or even bitchy to me. You seem honest, and caring, and genuine. I realize that I'm only getting to see you through a long electronic tube, and only the bits you choose to share, but the actions you've related, and the stories you have told seem to me to be from the heart. A rather large heart.

As for your eulogy, how about "She gave great blog."?

tee hee

Purple Pigeon said...

Why a whippet?.....

I can't say that you have ever come across as a bitch on here, just someone that doesnt take any crap.

Ananke (Goddess With An Identity Crisis) said...

I don't think you've ever come across as a bitch, at least not to me. But I have a feeling people would say the same thing about me except they would follow it up with, "And she was as dumb as a box of hair." Hee hee.

But seriously, anyone who does the Relay for Life cannot be considered a bitch. And don't forget all the things you collected at Christmas for the guys at the homeless shelter (I think that's what it was, correct me if I'm wrong). You do good things for people and I know that's what you'll be remembered for.

simplypink said...

I've seen photos of your home during the time you assemble your homeless care packages. You love your 4-legged friends and your family. There will be many kind words said. There is a difference in being a strong woman and a real bitch. We're all a little bitchy at times however. ;)

Stinkypaw said...

marius: Thank you, you're sweet. And I laughed out loud when I read my eulogy!

pigeon: A Whippet because it has a hard exterior and a mushy centre. And you're right I don't really take crap, maybe that's what makes me a bitch?!

ananke: Thank you! I'm hoping that you're right and the good parts will be remembered as well...

pink: Thank you! I know I can be a bitch, and I assume it. :-)

Janes Insane said...

From what little I know of you, "bitch" doesn't come to mind. My brother once wrote a family poem & in it, he said of me, "She cusses so much she'd put a sailor to shame." My other siblings didn't laugh. (But my brother did)
You seem honest. Too often people mistake honesty for being cold, or a bitch ~ especially when it's a woman being honest.
We seem to have funerals too often anymore. We have another one this Weds. to attend.
Be true to yourself. If there's 1 thing I'd want someone to say at my funeral, it would be, "She was true to herself." I would consider that honorable.
Just be you. You is good.

cinnamon girl said...

Well, I certainly prefer friends who call a spade a spade, as we would say! I don't think it's bitchy at all!

Off topic, I know your blog posts are meant to have food in them. But isn't a Whippet a kind of dog?

You eat some strange things over there.

Stinkypaw said...

jane: Thank you, I appreciate it.

cinnamon: A Whippet is a brand of cookies and that's what I'm ref. to, it's not that strange and actually quite good! ;-)

Periwinkle Studio said...

I have thought about 'my' moment in the casket and wonder too.....
Thanks for being so real and sharing what many are thinking, but are afraid to admit.

Stinkypaw said...

periwinkle: Welcome to my world and it's been my pleasure!