I so wish I was more computer savvy and would be able to set myself up on our domain name. I need Hubby to do that, and he’s been too busy with other things for me to ask him for that. There are changed I’d like to make to my blog; I’d love for it to have 3 columns, scroll boxes instead of lists, maybe even change the whole look of it… all in due times I guess.Since yesterday I’ve been thinking about death and how much Hubby’s uncle loved his wife. I feel for this poor man. He could barely say her name without crying. He will be facing some rough times ahead, that’s for sure. As we drove home, I started thinking of the things he had said during her eulogy and couldn’t help but wondered what my friends would say about me. I say friends since I don’t have any brother nor sister. Yes I have many cousins, but none that I would consider that close to want to say something at my funerals. I always thought it was a nice gesture when people stood up to say something about the deceased. It’s not something customary for us, that’s for sure. I did it at my father’s service, because I wanted to “set the record straight” for some people. A few years back, a friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident and his sister asked me to write something about their brother and a friend read it. I actually wrote a few of those for other people. Then last year Hubby did his mom’s. It was nice and honest.
Hearing the uncle talking about his wife and how she taught him to love was moving. Her sister paid her a nice tribute as well. There weren’t many dried eyes in the room. It got me thinking. What would I like to hear people say about me? What character traits of mine are touching people, if any? I can only imagine a friend standing up to say “She was a real bitch in every sense of the world. You would always know where you stood with her, she wasn’t there to spare your feelings that’s for sure.” I know I’m a tough cookie, and in a way I do take pride in that. But I also know that I don’t want people thinking of me as a heartless bitch. There is more to me than my hard shell. Can people see that? Can you see pass the rough exterior, the crude jokes and the “don’t give a f*ck” attitude? Can you see that deep down, I’m just a girl wanting to love and help and wanting to feel that way as well? I wonder sometimes…
Photo: Vol au Vent's