Friday, July 18, 2008

Your Friday Strudel

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says:

'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll take one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions an d reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

'LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE .. MORE ... TIME!!!'


***

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'


For some reason, I'm thinking there might be some truth to the last one...
Have a great weekend!

2 comments:

Annake said...

LOL, the last one probably is more true than we want to think. ;-)

noble pig said...

Oh those made me laugh out loud!