Sunday, February 15, 2009

My tongue is all swelled up from all the biting.

Hope you all had a happy VD, with lots of chocolates and smooches, if not, no worries, it’s a corporate Holiday anyway, so no biggy if you had a regular day like I did.

Today we had a kid’s birthday party for a cousin’s daughter who turned three. All I’ll say about that is, once again I know we’ve made the right decision. I will say something else though, about my father-in-law. Since his wife died we’ve come to realise that he wasn’t in fact the sharpest knife in the drawer. At first we thought it was because he was lost without his controlling wife, then it was because he was mourning. We gave him lots of excuses, but Hubby would always say: “He’s a sweet man, but he’s a doorknob”. I used to laugh and tried not to encourage Hubby too much. We’ve had a few encounters that proved it wasn’t the mourning period as such; he was just plain simple. No point trying to ignore it, the man is far, but very far, from any help, unless he finds a magic lamp and asks the genie for brains, but I don’t think he’s bright enough to make that request. He is a nice person, but man, the things he says at times.

I did write a few months back that we met the new woman in his life. During that dinner he questioned our decision of not wanting kids. It did get to a point where I told him that decision was his son and myself to make, and that was that. I’m not known for my diplomacy, far from it. I’ve been managing to bite my tongue more often than I think I should. I’m doing it to keep some semblance of peace, and because I want my husband to have a relationship with his dad. During the kid’s party he, again, mentioned our decision not to have kids, and how important family was to him. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me to not say one word and walk away. How can a man who won’t contact is one and only son, who’s always been respectful and helpful towards him, say that family is that important when he behaves this way towards his own son? The past year the only times he’s contacted Hubby was when he wanted to know about the Estate liquidation. I’m pissed. I’m not saying anything, because when or if I do say anything I will be like a viper or a cougar with it’s pray: I will go for the jugulars. I realised tonight, while sitting in a corner of the living room away from him and his nonsense, as much as I can be helpful and sweet I can turn into this really nasty, puss spewing bitch. I’ve learned from the best: my dad. I remember how much his words would hurt, so I do know the power of words and how hurtful they can be.

I have a feeling that I will have to refrain from socialising with my FIL, other wise I will let my Mrs. Hide rear her ugly head, and some people won’t be liking me much…

Why can’t people respect others and mind their own business? It would be so much nicer.


Traceytreasure said...

The whole world would be a better place if we didn't have to bite our tongues. Sorry that he won't mind his business.
My dad's words have hurt me almost as much as my moms. At least you have an awesome mom!


Periwinkle Studio said...

You are absolutely right, people need to be more respectful of other people's decisions and accept them.
I doubt 'he' would be on call 24/7 to change a diaper or stay awake all night. lol

Hang in there little buckaroo! You know where it is coming from.....and I'll send you a gel pack for your swollen tongue! :)

Anonymous said...

Being dumb is a disability- they really cannot help it. I try to turn my anger into pity. Does always work, but I try....

lizgwiz said...

Oh yes, you said a mouthful in that last paragraph!

Attila The Mom said...

Ahhhh---it's just the nature of families, I guess.

You could say to pointedly to FIL next time he mentions it..."There are just some genes we wouldn't feel responsible passing on..."

I know, I know, I'm such a bitchypants. LOL

Charlie said...

Why can’t people respect others and mind their own business?

For any of the following reasons:

1. They can't handle their own business so they meddle in others to forget their own.

2. They are perfect and have a compulsion to fix others.

3. They are idiots.

Annake said...

Ha, I'm with you on this one! I've bitten my tongue so many times, I'm suprised it hasn't fallen off! ;-) But chocolate makes (almost) everything better. Well, at least for me. Hee hee.

flurrious said...

Now that you mention it, why don't you have children?

Ahem. I am kidding. The question I always get is, "so, how come you never got married?"

Stinkypaw said...

Traceyt: Yeah I do have a good mom, but also had a good dad, despite his words - it made me stronger, I do believe that.

Periwinkle: He won't even call his son, so never mind a grand kid. Thanks.

Monkey: "I pity the fool!" (in my best Mr. T impression)

lizgwiz: Simple yet hard!

ATM: That would be too subtle for him, but I love it!

Charlie: Amen!

Annake: I've got the pounds to show how much healing I've been doing with chocolate! ;-)

flurrious: I'd be curious to know why, actually... ;-)