Monday, March 02, 2009

Put your heart in it... I did.

Talking with a friend who doesn’t blog, nor read blogs, (she doesn’t even do Bacefook) I was surprised by what she thought of my divulging sharing so much personal information on the web with people I didn’t even know. Despite the fact that I am conscious of my identity on here, I’ve been careful to a certain extent. Yes I did the Food Exchange Thing last year, and even “befriended” some of you on Bacefook. I respect the choices we all make when it comes to information shared on the web (except when it comes to my email address. Hee).

I’ve never really thought that someone who I would read and exchange with almost daily would lie to me (and the rest of the world) about the crap happening in his or her life. Let’s be honest, it’s not like many of us are so well off that we relate our Social Club’s events, or that we drop names of celebrities we know. What I’ve been reading on here has been pretty much “real life adventures” as such. I share (too much at times, I know) information about my daily life, my need to vent, little anecdotes and sometimes, deeper thoughts. So far (knock on wood) I haven’t posted anything that I regret. I haven’t felt the need to go back on past posts and change the names, etc. I have certain anonymity, and it’s all-good.

Though my years of blogging, I’ve made ‘blends’. We all have. A few nights ago I was catching up on some of my “not so regular” blog reading, and felt this little pinch in my heart when I came across Lisa’s blog. I couldn’t help but think how strange it was for me to feel this way when in fact I didn’t really know her.

I don’t know any of you either. I only know what you want to share, and in the way you wish to share as well.

We all have our styles. How strange that through the web I’ve felt sad for this lady dying of cancer, that I felt concern for her husband and kids? She even wasn’t a regular read. I didn’t feel like I knew her like the way I do some others.

It made me realise just how much I do care about my ‘blends’, you people miles away, and yet so close that I often refer to you in conversation. I do care that you’ve lost your job and haven’t found something else yet. I do care that your mother passed away and that you’re coping the best way you can. I do care about that growth on your neck. I do care about your boy acting up. I do care about the lack of choices you have when it comes to dating. I also do wonder what ever happened to you when you haven’t blog in months. I remember hoping Charlie would get better so that he could blog again (and he did!). I hope things are good between Wreckless and his wife since he gave up blogging to concentrate on his marriage. I hope everything isn’t too chaotic for Pawpads and St-Jude. I wish I could do something for Seeker's daughter. I can’t help and wonder whatever happened to She Wears Plaid, who disappeared one day, just like that, no notice, nothing. I went on her blog and it wasn’t there anymore. She just vanished.

You people are part of my cyber life for sure, but also (after writing this) a big part of my life. It’s so foreign when you stop and think about it; we’ve never met, we’ve never talked, we’ve only read each other’s words, strange isn’t it? And yet, I love it, still.

By the time I've posted this, Lisa past away on Saturday, losing her final battle against cancer. No matter what, we should all have a thought for her and her family and for everyone who had the pleasure of reading her through the years. She will be missed, but hopefully not forgotten.

* Note: As I’m editing this, I went back on Lisa’s blog and if you wish to help her family, they accept direct donations or donations to a cause that was dear to her. Her family needs support, if you want to help.


Charlie said...

Just the other day a cyber-friend I've made on LibraryThing said, "The drawback to blogging, etc. is that when you suddenly don't hear from someone for a while you don't know what happened to them. And then you worry."

She Wears Plaid is a good example.

I didn't know Lisa, but her passing is a natural part of the life we all write about. Certainly it's sad, and you will grieve even though you never met her in person.

The person, you see, is just the container for the heart—and that is the part of us that we all write about and get attached to. We share our common humanity—good, bad, and indifferent—in a way we would probably never do in person.

Traceytreasure said...

I answered you in my comment section and Yes, I feel close with my friends/Blends. I started my blog to be real. It's not always pretty, though. I have taken down posts and edited some content.
I'm so sorry for Lisa's family. My heart goes out to them all.
I try to put my heart into my posts but it's been broken so many times, sometimes the posts have jagged edges.

Big Hugs!!

P.S. Just read Charlie's comment and I have to ditto the "I didn't know Lisa, but her passing is a natural part of the life we all write about. Certainly it's sad, and you will grieve even though you never met her in person." part. The blogger I miss the most is Day Dreamer. I wonder what she's been up to.

Marius said...

Just the other day this very subject came up on the only online forum to which I belong. We were discussing 'internet friends' and whether it was 'real' friendship or not. Absolutely it is. Yes, we only see what our blends want us to see, but I know that guile is not one of my long suits, and I tend to show pretty much who I am here as well as in 'real' life.(ok, no more air quotes):-) One of the forum members called it frienship on demand, and I kinda like that description. We have all the good parts of friendship here on the Tubes; sharing, caring, joking, laughing, etc; without the potential downsides; "can I borrow your truck", "wanna help me move", "gee, do you really want to go out dressed like that?", "no, really, let's just stay friends, ok?". The fact that most of us will never meet face-to-face does sadden me sometimes, but the joys of knowing you all far outweigh that cold reality. And if what you show me isn't real, I still dig the pleasant fiction of who you want to be...and that's good enough for me. :-)

lizgwiz said...

I absolutely consider my blog friends to be REAL friends. Not that I consider every blogger I read to be a "blend," but..the ones I do, I do. If that makes sense. :)

Annette said...

God that is so true.
I have always considered many bloggers as friends,good ones at that. I don't know about you but I have written things down on my blog that I probably wouldn't even talk about with others.Even my closest friends.No offence to them but you don't always get the opportunity to do so.Some of it is because you are not actually facing anyone,you are here on your own facing a screen that no-one else can see and you feel safe.You can write about any little secret you ahve.Sometimes I have worried about the reaction I may get but mostly you get really nice remarks, if they disagree with you then thats good because it makes you think even harder.
This is a good outlet, and I think we all need that.

Stinkypaw said...

Charlie: I do know, very well, that dying is a natural part of life. Why do you think that is, we wouldn't share in person like we do here?

Traceyt: Jagged edges or not, they come from a good place. :-)

Marius: I like the idea as well, "friends with benefits only".

lizgwiz: It made much sense, at least to me! ;-)

Annette: Thank you, and yes I've shared some pretty personal stuff on here.

Seeker said...

A lovely post, Stinkypaw! I cannot believe how important my blog friends have become to me. Couldn't do without them now!



Periwinkle Studio said...

I feel the same way and you put it so beautifully!

I consider you one of mine! :) (hugs!!)

Traceytreasure said...

Off Topic:
I have another award for you, Dear, Stinkypaw! Come and get it, you deserve it!


Anonymous said...

I find myself talking about Blog Friends in conversations with my roommate all the time. And it has come to the point where she starts asking me about them. She doesn't blog but she's addicted to Bacefook.

I think the great thing about the internet is that we get to learn about people like Lisa and her family instead of never knowing about her.

And yes, you can add me to your Blogger's B-day thingy. Thanks!

Stinkypaw said...

Seeker: Ditto

Periwinkle: I hope you do know you're one as well!

Greenduckies: The internet isn't all bad, and this is proof! ;-)

Just a grail said...

I totally agree.

Case in point:

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the beast and I said " my friend stinky is a really great listener and blah blah......" She was all confused, "who is stinky, have I met her". Oh no, I say, she lives in X. "How do you know her"? Thru my blog. "OH, then you aren't really friends". UM YES WE ARE. LOL

I have also followed blogs and then they stop writing and I still wonder what happened.

Stinkypaw said...

Grail: You can tell your friend, I do exist, I'm as real as they come and even if we've never met, face to face, we are friends, just a long distance one!

simplypink said...

I'm sorry about your blend. I think I've read her at some point. Very sad. Her blog will be something her family will hold dear.

I'm still hanging around. Not very bloggy. All work and no play make pink a dull girl. But like Frosty the snowman....I'll be back again someday! :)