Friday, January 15, 2010

Your Friday Smile!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading Canada, here is something useful:

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED Canadian.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

Wasn't that useful? I think so!
Enjoy your weekend!

7 comments:

Meg said...

LOL. "Investigates alternative destinations" My dad used to call that the scenic route.

Biddie said...

Love this, I will have to share it with Shawn :)

ModernMom said...

Perfect. Us Canadians are polite eh? lol

Green-Eyed Momster said...

How funny! Thanks for the smiles!

Hugs!!

Michele said...

I love it!!! I am still laughing!

"previously enjoyed companion"

Ahhh haaaaa haaaa!!

Purple Pigeon said...

Lol, loved ''Verbally Repetative'' and 'Rectal-cranial Inversion''

Genius

Robert the Skeptic said...

This is too much... I am still trying to figure out the toilet seat "up or down" argument.